Marry an ABCD no way!!!

[ADUDE]

If you want culture or religion go to dessiland
If you want western marry a gori.

Why would anyone want an ABCD girl?
They ain’t good enough.

[SSultan]

phir wahi ghissa pssa topic, look in the mirror and ask yourself what makes you better than any ABCD girl.
What if she "ABCD" girl writes same derogatory remarks for you then how will you feel?
What is her fault if she is born in America?If you find that she is not following Islam it is your fault you know why because you act and she reacts.If we living abroad are possessed with West then don't blame her for your actions. You start practice Islam she will follow too.
When she sees that desi male are running after goris she tries to act like gori she wants attention too. man is the leader she is the follower.
Remember it is human nature to blame somebody else for our own fault and deficiencies.Like when you make an "A"you tell everybody I made an "A" and when you get the "C" you tell everybody the "teacher" gave me "C".

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[This message has been edited by SSultan (edited February 23, 1999).]

[Achtung]

ADUDE, your post is discriminatory, which you no doubt know. Some women born in America are stronger in their faith than women born in Muslim majority countries. They have good hearts and are knowledgeble about both Islam and Pakistani culture.

As an ABCD myself I'm offended by your post. We aren't "western" - I resent that you even think that. I've seen people indigenous to Pakistan more westernized than ABCDs, with their fake tatoos, their non-alcoholic beer, their tacky fake Versace jeans, and their dinner parties at Pizza Hut.

Try not to be judgmental and over generalize about an entire group of people.

[ghalib]

I second that notion!!

If you wanna meet some outrageous westernized muslims girls, I suggest you guys pay a little visit to Pakistan. It drives me up the wall when I see girls, who have never been exposed to the western culture, act like they belong in west more than western themselves.

As for ABCD's, I wouldn't blame them for what they have become. BLAME THE UNEDUCATED, MONEY HUNGRY AND IGNORANT PARENTS WHO BELIEVE THEY HAVE TRULY ACHIEVED SUCCESS IN THE WEST AND WILL GET A COLD BLOW ONE MORNING WHEN THEY WAKE UP AND FIND A NOTE SAYING THAT THEIR PRECIOUS DAUGHTER HAS RUN AWAY WITH HER BOYFRIEND.

excuse me!!

[Jez]

ghalib: You do have a point..many parents from desiland that come to the west are very money hungry and work many jobs and feel that they have achieved success b/c they are wealthy. They do not think to spend time with their children b/c they do not realize that success is not measured by the amount of money you have in your bank account; it is measured by how well you brought up your children.

But there is another side to parents in america. Some of them are very afraid of the scenario that you have described in your post so they try to do all they can to take their children to the masjid and talk to them...must more so then in Pakistan where parents dont really talk to their children.

Over here (in america) you cannot depend on someone else to raise your children be it the babysitter or society. In pakistan, you can somewhat depend on the society to put the child in the semi-rite direction b/c of all the social pressures and stuff.

All ABCD's arent screwed up and all ABCD's arent all there either. Just as all FOBs arent backwards nor are all of them forwards!! (just a joke)
It's just a toss up like everywhere and everyone else.

[ghalib]

Jez:

Dude, I never generalized any group. You're right about many parents here going to mosques and taking their kids with them. This has come after they have realized that success just cannot be measured with how much money you have, or how big of a house you own. This has also come after learning things the hard way, either through personal ordeal or watching friends.

Now about trusting Pakistani society with raising your kids. I don't think there's a single trustworthy soceity out there which can teach my kids the values I want in them. If I leave my kids with Pakistani soceity, I am afraid he's gonna grow up either as a political activist or money grabbing, back stabbing crook.

[a_monad]

I think one should go by personality, not by any cultural/religious/ethnic background. This is an extremly partial and biased view point.

[NYAhmadiX]

ok

[ghalib]

ADUDE:

Yes I have been following the Butt scenario. Its pathetic, but I agree with what the runaway couple. Its pahtetic the way her parents made a mockery out of the justice system and worst yet, Islam, to stop their daughter. They're the one's who should be on the ECL, not the couple. I don't think the couple did anything wrong Islamically, and thats what matters the most.

When I referred to parents waking up and finding the note, I meant their kids abandoning their heritage, religion and "hayaah" and running away with some "gorah" "kallah" to fully enjoy the freedom this "amreeca" offers. Now thats not to say that don't marry "goras" or "kalas" who won't accept you culture and above all, your religion. There's a big difference.

[Jack Handy]

AhhH!!! ABCDs - the fact s remain that the vast majority of ABCDs have a value system that is markedly different from mainstream Pakistani FOB's. THere may be similarities in cultural & religious affiliations but the ir goals ambitions, aspirations and desires are based on fundamentally different premises. Somebody described this phenomenon well, FOBs in general ( yes generalisations)
have a duty based outlook on life - duty to parents, to oneself to family and to spouse & children - consequently they tend to be more compromising in order to fit in the societal mold. ABCD's here though they share a similar backgrounds have the american affinity towards the "pursuit of happiness" to a much stronger degree. COnsequently
that "pursuit of happiness" is a variable measure at any given moment in life - and they have both the means and the determination to do as they please - so they dont tend to compromise as often.

[Muqaddir]

Adude bhai I am verry happy for you. The abcd ladki nothing but bad news. They brake the hart of the shareef Pakistani bhai. I have the webpage and shareef bhai on my web page say how abcd ladki destroy their life. You can read the sad storis of many shareef admi at http://members.tripod.com/muqaddir_khan/storis/

You will see you make the good chioces. You can also share sad stori if you have. It is important to tell shareef Pakistani admi about kharaab abcd ladki. Thank you verry much.

[k2pk]

I agree with JackHandy, I mean these genarilizations about fob's and abcd's are truly there, as evident as black and white. But, these are also disunifying us, labeling and characterizing people into categories. But what about the people in the middle? The ones who aren't completely fob's but have a good work ethic and who are not abcds either, but want a good islamic life for themselves and their families in America(or anywhere outside of an Islamic country). I tend to believe that these are the people who suffer the most because they are not put into any of the two major groups, and cannot be a part of either side. While the other two battle it out in a game of 'who can survive the longest without understanding one another ,' eventhough we are the same people, only with different experiences, we hurt ourselves the most.

btw-there are many 'beautiful'(in all senses of the word) Desi guys and girls out there to choose from!

[NYAhmadiX]

Excellent K2PK, Excellent

Khuda Aap Ka Iqbal Buland Kary.