Dating

[SuperMan]

I think our culture needs to be open to the concept of dating. The age old traditions will not work for modern youth who are yearning to breath free.
In Karachi if you are walking with a girl on the beach the police will stop and question your relationship. Even dating couples are haunted by the authorities. This is complete rubish. I think we need to grow up as a society. Our culture is very backward regarding the marriage of women. I agree with Faisal completely when he said that we live in a " choked up culture "

[Amriki Lahoria]

Hi Superman!<p>
How is your day? I read what you wrote about the pakistani culture. I agree that our culture is pretty much backward! If you live in U.S, you probably have seen their culture. Their culture is a lot advanced than ours, but they a lot dirt in it. I thank Allah that our culture is one of the <b>safest</b> cultures.<p>
About the marraige of women, in our culture parents are supposed to ask women before their decision, but parents don't. It isn't our culture's fault, it is our society's fault. Our culture is that much backward, but our <b>MULLAHS</b>made it backward.

[Nazia]

HI
Don't blame religion just blame the Mullahs - they provide their interpretations of what Islam says is right or wrong, and we suffer in the name of Islam. In the western world Islam has been given a really bad name due to these Mullahs. Islam allows men and women equal rights but the mullahs do not.
I think I had better stop going against the Mullahs for today!
Bye all
Nazia

[Muzna]

So where does the line get drawn?

Should the authorities be mandated with questioning that dating couple walking along Hawk's Bay. Or should that be nobody's business. Should it matter that the two are holding hands? If they are "officially engaged to be married" does that give them additional privileges?

Should young people be offered the freedom to interact openly in eastern society (or would that eliminate the fundamental differences between east and west), and to what degree?

These are precisely the types of discussions that need to take place. . . .

[Mr Fraudia]

SuperMan

so you would not have a prob if I hook one of moi cuzzinz in pak with someone from yer family? or ju just thinkin froma dude's perspective mah man.

[Sultan]

Yo superman what's up
Your suggestion raises doubts for the readers and they think that how can be he a superman with such dum ideas. http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif
Let me tell you something here dating is not good for the society don't beleive me look around the pre-marital kids, kids with no parents,teenage pregnancy,abondoned kids, kids left in dumpsters right after birth because raising them is not cheap,which sometime leads to a murder of that poor kid if he/she could not be found on time,the ones who survive don't have love of their parents and fall in complex,bottom line there is no advantage of dating.
Beleive me you cannot be an advanced nation because you are dating.If you think that you want to date so that you can know the one, who will be your life partner, and you might know her by talking right. So my dear fellow for that purpose Islam has something to offer called "ENGAGEMENT", sounds familiar right, if you want to marry a girl and do not know about her get engaged and talk as much as you want nobody will raise eye brows, you can talk to her in person, on phone,write her, or even e-mail her BUT you cannot touch her, because a musllim girl is so pure and clean just like mirror that even you do not touch the mirror and just do ahh.. your air/bhap will make the mirror dirty. See dude in islam the girl is very well protected while in other religion she being used and abused.
This is the same girl who used to be treated like **** or dirt and used to be burried alive in ground now is so well protected and honored that if she cries in India a whole Muslim army of her borthers come form Saudia Arabia to rescue her.In dating shhe is going out with an unkinow person who knows what the devilish nature of man could do to her and let me add domething here that's how they become prostitutes.
Mairay bhai sari ghair islami taqatain thumay tabaha karnay kay darpay hain aur tumhai datiing ki soogh rahi hai, what are you superman or a sweeperman,da. http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif

[Sultan]

Yo superman what's up
Your suggestion raises doubts for the readers and they think that how can be he a superman with such dum ideas. http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif
Let me tell you something here dating is not good for the society don't beleive me look around the pre-marital kids, kids with no parents,teenage pregnancy,abondoned kids, kids left in dumpsters right after birth because raising them is not cheap,which sometime leads to a murder of that poor kid if he/she could not be found on time,the ones who survive don't have love of their parents and fall in complex,bottom line there is no advantage of dating.
Beleive me you cannot be an advanced nation because you are dating.If you think that you want to date so that you can know the one, who will be your life partner, and you might know her by talking right. So my dear fellow for that purpose Islam has something to offer called "ENGAGEMENT", sounds familiar right, if you want to marry a girl and do not know about her get engaged and talk as much as you want nobody will raise eye brows, you can talk to her in person, on phone,write her, or even e-mail her BUT you cannot touch her, because a musllim girl is so pure and clean just like mirror that even you do not touch the mirror and just do ahh.. your air/bhap will make the mirror dirty. See dude in islam the girl is very well protected while in other religion she being used and abused.Beforeislam,
this is the same girl who used to be treated like **** or dirt and used to be burried alive in ground now is so well protected and honored that if she cries in India a whole Muslim army of her borthers come form Saudia Arabia to rescue her. In dating she is going out with an unknown person who knows what the devilish nature of man could do to her and let me add domething here that's how they become prostitutes.
Mairay bhai sari ghair islami taqatain thumay tabaha karnay kay darpay hain aur tumhai datiing ki soogh rahi hai, what are you superman or a sweeperman,da. http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif

[Mr Fraudia]

Sultan Mah Dear Brotha

Only problem wid dem scenarioz yer been presentin iz ....


If ya got engaged to some babez in Pakmanland, or even here and then u got to know her and vice versa, and u dunn like her, or vice versa.. and the engagement is called off. Majority of the people think that there was something wrong with the girl.

Again its the mentality of our people, and their approach that is to blame, the terms "Parrhay Likhaay Jahil" and "Naw-dawlatia" come to mind . but das de way it is, us folks had a good way but us folks went ahead and messed de whole mangnipalooza stuff.

Maybe they should just do a national matching like alottery and one hasta marry the person that they get picked with.. and again. the lottery would have to be of a different nature in Peshwar, if ya catch mah drift *wink*

[Asif]

Yo dudes howit it goin' man!!

Yaar, ye American gup shup forum nahin hai!!
At least speak English properly!! I'm only joking but I find a lot of your 'streetwise' talk difficult to understand!!

Anyway, about the concept of 'dating' itna kaafi hai ke it is not permitted by Shariah Law in any of the Schools of Law. Haan, hamaray Islam mein, agar do baalagh (post pubescent) ladka ladki chaahein to aik doosri se nikaah kar saktay hai with two gawaah!
But NOT in our Pakistani society unfortunately due to lack of ilm about our religion!

If you want to read a really cool book about how to get married the Islamic way..read 'Kitab Adaab al Nikah by Hazrat Imam Ghazzali rahmatullahi alayh. It is avaiolable in English published by Al-Baz Company in the USA, and translated by Muhtar Holland.

I agree with your points about Muslim women. Our women our precious pearls and should be respected like they are in Islam,; we should NEVER try to copy the Western way of life vis-a-vis finding a partner (for example just look at the social chaos in the USA as a result of 'dating' .eg nearly 50% of children are nopw born as *******s!)--or in any other way of life.

Khuda Hafiz


Asif

ps Iqbal has said some nice verses about this topic but i'll have to find them...

[saria]

No comment at this topic !
By the way Mrfraudia ......you oughta teach me your oh so great language hehehe .
So long guys .
saria

[vision]

Hey guys. Any women iin this discussion?

One of you said that dating is the way to prostitution. Hardly. Remember, prostitution is paid for sex, not sharing dinner or a movie. Listen to the way you use English language. This is precisely how such negative impressions like "all Western women are *****s" get started.

I have to question your 50% of children born in America are born out of wedlock. Where did that come from? I'd like to see your source, that is a horrific number!

Ciao for now

[Rajo]

Vision...I dont think it is quite 50% but it is quite high

As to dating in Pakistan and it being regulated by authorities...Isnt Pakistan an Islamic country??? Nuff said!

About the getting to know one another. Of course that is vital cuz what if you dont like the person??? what to do??? you cant just divorce on a whim! then we are no better than americans! There needs to be line drawn to seperate casual dating and dating for the purpose of marriage (ok, i think i have stepped into something totally different now)

[Mr Fraudia]

Oi geezas

Moi Lingo is no probz here ya knowz. Cuz I dunn speak peon-jobby :0 but zat dunn stop mah lads here ta stap de bak bak so I'll do what ah pleaz.

asif my dear. I will start quoting shakspear now, Will that make you happy? Meray bhai, I try to type proper english but this kahbees computer was bought from a kaloo, the spell check changes everything to ebonics.

Nuff Respec

[Mudassar]

Assalam alaikum

superman, I think you're some sort of a secular freak who's trying to push secular ideas into Islamic minds.

Pakistan needs to be a system which follows an Islamist ideology. The problems that you see in pakistan right now, including the problems regarding the intermingling of the sexes is due to the fact the everybody has a mixture of ideas, some of of which are capitalist or communist or Islamist. For Pakistan to be a super power it needs to adopt an ideology.

America, Britain, France and Israel are all capitalist whereas China and Russia are Communist ( although they may be converting to Capitalism ).

It was the Islamist ideology which helped the Muslims conquer one third of the Earth in a very short space of time. Which is why the the capitalists and the communists are worried about resurgence of Islamic ideas which they call 'Islamic renaissance' and they need to make up lies about the Muslims to hinder this resurgence.

I would blame all the problems in Pakistan on the mullahs or maulvis who are uneducated in Islam or anything and do not understand the Arabic language yet try to teach a religion which holds Arabic at its core, i.e. if you can't understand Arabic how are you supposed to act according to the Qur'aan.

kh.

[Shirin]

Dear Friends,

I Quote: "This is the same girl who used to be treated like **** or dirt and used to be burried alive in ground now is so well protected and honored that if she cries in India a whole Muslim army of her borthers come form Saudia Arabia to rescue her.In dating shhe is going out with an unkinow person who knows what the devilish
nature of man could do to her and let me add domething here that's how they become prostitutes."

Well.... I'm not sure that just because a man professes he's a Muslim that he behaves respectfully towards women!!! And God forbid, what's this rescue squad from Saudi Arabia??? First, how do they know what's going on? Then, is the fate of the girl any better in Saudi Arabia? And what about, say if a Hindu or Christian wanted to rescue a damsel in distress in Saudi Arabia - can you imagine the repercussions?
It's really quite simple. Islam like any other belief or philosophy means nothing if it's imposed from outside. Muslims who believe and PRACTICE Islam are the only ones who will make a difference. Not those who talk about it and then do what they please when they get a chance to take advantage of all the the tempting devlish delights of the Western World. How many Muslim men go abroad and go completely wild when they are offered the freedom to choose and exercise their liberty... running after every available girl, eat drink and behave as they choose, and then decide that the "impure" women who were fine to go to bed with upto then aren't "pure" enough to marry. No my dear friends, if those born and bred in Islam can't put it into practise without a policeman to check if they are holding hands, don't you think that is a rather sad reflection on us?
Personally, I don't really subscribe to the "devilish nature of man" theory. We are all human beings and fallible but we aren't born with the original sin. We can teach our children to behave responsibly and correctly through our example.That is the only real hope I see for the generations to come. They need the freedom to make mistakes, but they need the education and guidance to be able to handle that freedom. The world is not a choice between a police state or a free for all chaos. I hope that there will be many constructive responses to this letter.