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    Real life Dilemma

    The following might have been echoed previously so apologies in advance...

    I have a very close friend i don't ever use the word friend in a generic way as i am very selective about my friends most have too many ulterior motives which i have no time for hence to most of my such friends "Goodbye and wish u all the best"

    So the few remaining friends i do have irrespective of gender i can truly regard as true friends and irrespective of time of day will be there for me and likewise so from myself..........

    Now the dilemma is i have one such wonderful friend who i have known since my school/uni days who is in a serious relationship with another of my close friends and she is a really nice sincere naive simplistically beautiful person and he want's his cake and wants to eat it as well....

    I have spoken to him on several occasions Reagarding his casanova cavalier attitude and his lack of morals towards relationships but all to no avail..

    Now.... if he carries on with his 2 timing or whatever the terminolgy might be do i blow the horn on him to my friend or what??

    It seems sooner or later i have to make a decision and in doing so risk losing one of them coz if my friend finds out i knew he was cheating on her i would be mince meat

    What do i do???????

    Realistically

    ------------------
    Hated by many~~Loved by few~~But respected by All~~

    #2
    tyson bhai if i was you i'd just let them be! Two timing missions just end up being revealed, given time!!
    I'm sure your female friend is not as naive as you make her out to be - DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!
    Women have this way of knowing or at least findng out weather their partners are cheating or not- trust me he will get busted sooner or later and then that way you will keep them both as your friends!

    Comment


      #3
      Vicky,,
      Hypothetically if your spouse /boyfriend whatever was cheating on you and your close friend was aware of it but didn't inform you would u still remain friends or would you feel betrayed??


      ------------------
      Hated by many~~Loved by few~~But respected by All~~

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by TySoN:
        I have a very close friend i don't ever use the word friend in a generic way as i am very selective about my friends most have too many ulterior motives which i have no time for hence to most of my such friends "Goodbye and wish u all the best"

        So the few remaining friends i do have irrespective of gender i can truly regard as true friends and irrespective of time of day will be there for me and likewise so from myself..........
        Going by your own profound definition of friends and friendship, Id figure it to be your 'moral' duty to spill the beans on this. Because if you dont tell, one of your friends will be genuinely hurt. However, if u do tell, your will save one friend from hurt, and the other will merely lose half his playing field, and you shouldnt be feeling bad for him.

        Comment


          #5
          UGh You seem to be stuck between a hard place and a rock.
          Personally, I think you should take your friend to where her boy is playing her out..

          Make it look like an accident... both points served and even ifyou male friend gets mad... he'll just have to get over it.

          let us know what happens ! Good Luck
          I have OCD: Obsessive Cullens Disorder
          Bite Me! -- Please
          I like running with scissors...makes me feel dangerous

          Comment


            #6
            If I have misunderstood your dilemma, forgive me.

            It seems that whatever you do, one or both of your close friends is likely to become upset and your friendship(s) may suffer.

            I have always felt that if someone makes a mess, they should be the one to clean it up. The simplest way to fix this would be for your friend to put an end to the two-timing.

            I can understand that you've tried to persuade him and have had little success so far. All I can say is that I feel you are heading in absoloutly the right direction. No one can reasonably ask any more of you.

            The best you can do, is to help him understand what is the right thing to do. Leverage your friendship and point out that you'd listen to him, if it was the other way around. That's what true friends do, right?

            What better test of a true friend could you ask for?

            Comment


              #7
              It's sort of very tricky coz if if she wasn't a close friend it most probably wouldn't bother me (okay you'll say where's your morals gone to now??)but coz she is, i don't like another one of my friends treating her the way he is wish the situation would resolve itself without my interference..
              Hate to lose a friend either side coz they do mean a lot to me..



              ------------------
              Hated by many~~Loved by few~~But respected by All~~

              Comment


                #8
                She's gonna get hurt either way .....

                My opinions on this issue are too strong for the pure ears of guppies.

                Just put urself in her shoes - would u like her 2 grass on ur cheating girlfriend. I'm sure she'll appreciate it in the long run.

                Sobi

                ------------------
                Always Remember Anger Is Only 1 Letter Away From Danger !!!
                So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
                Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

                Comment


                  #9
                  i don't really c a reason why u r still waiting on this one Tyson...

                  u'll be savin one friend from gettin hurt, and for ur other friend, u'll be doin him a favour 2...cuz it's for his own good, right?

                  ------------------
                  Programming today is a race between software engineers striving
                  to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe
                  trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
                  is winning

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I have wax in my ears which does a superb filtering job so don't hold back..S.S

                    problemo is if i do tell her not to get too involved etc etc inevitably when she finds out the question as to how long i knew for is gonna crop up....

                    Do i start suffering from a selective memory losss or what??
                    i've even contemplated sending her an anonymous email.. but then that would be breaking the trust with my other friend and make me TP cheapstake .. i just find it extremly bothersome coz she is a really nice person.

                    P.S how much discount did u say you'll give me on my thermals??


                    ------------------
                    Hated by many~~Loved by few~~But respected by All~~

                    Comment


                      #11
                      It all depends on the type of girl she is. I dont think she is too nave as it sounds from your comments that there is a case of loosing ones CAKE and if she was that nave then she wouldnt fall for it. It is also possible that she might think that you are trying to be a kebab mein haddi as one would be aware that how stupid this ishq wishq is. Girls normally go mad. In this case just take Vickys advice.

                      Anyhow, if you feel that girl is too simple and really nave that she cant differentiate then u should take advice from Akif and try your best to avoid that happening.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by TySoN:
                        I have wax in my ears which does a superb filtering job so don't hold back..S.S

                        problemo is if i do tell her not to get too involved etc etc inevitably when she finds out the question as to how long i knew for is gonna crop up....

                        Do i start suffering from a selective memory losss or what??
                        i've even contemplated sending her an anonymous email.. but then that would be breaking the trust with my other friend and make me TP cheapstake .. i just find it extremly bothersome coz she is a really nice person.

                        P.S how much discount did u say you'll give me on my thermals??


                        NA NA NA NA, Trust me boy, if i were to start telling u my true opinions of this so called friend of urs, u'd never see me in the same light again ......

                        Put it this way .... whose friendship do u value more - that of ur male friend or that of ur female friend? Who's in the wrong - ur male friend or female friend? Who'd get over it quicker, ur male friend or ur female friend?

                        I'm sure that after a few bad words she'll realise that it was better 4 u 2 tell her late than not to tell her at all.

                        Whats this fixation u have with TPs ??

                        I can get u 20% off ur thermals - be warned tho, they tend to be quite expensive here at M&S - but i guess its the quality that counts.

                        Sobi

                        ------------------
                        Always Remember Anger Is Only 1 Letter Away From Danger !!!
                        So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
                        Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          muniya has given the best advice...I've been in your position before. Personally I could not respect any guy that would even consider doing this type of thing no matter how much the girl may even 'deserve it'.

                          Anyhow I'd tell the girl this really carefully and calmly start out by telling how hesitant you were to even tell her to begin with... but you could not just sit back and let this continue. Also let her know you've tried to explain this to him too..you're gonna get accused of trying ot steal here for yourself..

                          chances are she's gonna get mad at you and be in denial... don't push it and keep trying to tell her over and over..once is enough... as a last resort show her..

                          oh and the guy will know it's you for sure... but do let the girl know you'd rather not be put in the middle of this ..another reason for your hesitation..

                          oh it'll be messy.. you may find yourself wishing you had said nothing..but it's the right thing to do...

                          everything worked out really well in the situation i was in..yeah the guy still hates me ..but that's his problem..the girl eventually found someone who really deserved her and they're married now


                          ------------------
                          If you can not change it, get over it already!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Thankx Waqas
                            I've sort of contemplated most of the scenarious and one that might possibly happen coz girls will be girls she might decide to give him another chance and if that happens where does that leave me---
                            egg on my face ?????

                            ------------------
                            Hated by many~~Loved by few~~But respected by All~~

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by DeSiMuNdA:
                              i don't really c a reason why u r still waiting on this one Tyson...

                              u'll be savin one friend from gettin hurt, and for ur other friend, u'll be doin him a favour 2...cuz it's for his own good, right?
                              DITTO...!

                              I have been thru this and thats exactly what I did . I talked to my friend and made him dump the other girl....

                              Comment

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