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Letters to santa (This is what I call comedy)

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    Letters to santa (This is what I call comedy)

    Dear Santa,
    I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good Boy all yeer.
    YeR FReND, BiLLy

    Dear Billy,
    Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawn care specialist. How 'bout I send you a freakin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!
    Santa
    ************************************************** *****

    Dear Santa,
    I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
    Love, Sarah

    Dear Sarah,
    Your parents smoked when you were born didn't they?
    Santa
    ************************************************** *****

    Dear Santa,
    I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
    Love, Joey

    Dear Joey,
    Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. Then you'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with!
    Santa
    ************************************************** ******

    Dear Santa,
    I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
    Love, Teddy

    Dear Teddy,
    What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
    Santa
    ************************************************** *****

    Dear Santa,
    I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have more Pokemon cards than me. Please see what you can do.
    Love, Michelle

    Dear Michelle
    Kids are forcing their parents to buy hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none of you snot-nosed DORKS are even learning to play the game. Let me get you something more your speed, like "snakes and Ladders."
    Santa
    ************************************************** *****

    Dear Santa,
    I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
    Love, Francis

    Dear Francis,
    Francis...FRANCIS! Who wants to name their kid "Francis" nowadays? How 'bout I get you a Barbie and Ken doll FRANCIS! ...hahahahahahahahaha. Tell me Francis, do you get punched in the face alot in school? hehehehehohoho
    Santa
    ************************************************** *****

    Dear Santa,
    I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
    Love, Susan

    Dear Susan,
    Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face. If you want to be a kind, then leave me a glass of Champange and some Snikers!
    Santa
    ************************************************** ****

    Dear Santa,
    What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making toys?
    Your friend, Thomas

    Dear Thomas,
    You must be a major DORK. Don't you read the' tags you little loser? All toys get made in China! I have a club in Vegas, where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail juice, and losing all my cash at the gambleing table. And NO you little dweeb - reindeers can't fly. But they sure taste good with A-1 sauce!
    Santa
    ************************************************** *****

    Dear Santa,
    I really, really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please PLEASE!
    Timmy

    Timmy,
    That whiney begging, may work with your folks, but that stuff don't work up here. You're getting a sweater again. Are you by any chance related to Francis?
    Santa
    ************************************************** *****

    Dearest Santa,
    We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
    Love, Marky

    Mark,
    Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're getting your a** beat at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your house just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams!
    Santa
    ************************************************** *****

    Sweet dreams to you all to
    Naaz (that's my name)

    ------------------
    i am sugar spice and everything nice, before messing with me U better think twice!
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