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Notice of revocation (Americans)

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    Notice of revocation (Americans)

    Recieved this in a mail, found it quite funny


    To the citizens of the United States of America,

    In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus
    to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
    independence, effective today.

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
    over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah,
    which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon.Tony
    Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that
    there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for
    America without the need for further elections. Congress and the
    Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year
    to determine whether any of you noticed.

    To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
    rules are introduced with immediate effect:

    1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
    Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
    amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
    Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
    Look up"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with
    filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
    inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

    2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
    on your behalf.

    3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
    It really isn't that hard.

    4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
    the good guys.

    5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
    Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want
    you to get confused and give up half way through.

    6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one
    kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a
    very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
    outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays
    "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and
    should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if
    you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you
    brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar
    to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every
    twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
    We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

    7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
    if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that
    there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.
    The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh*t".

    8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
    national holiday, but only in England. It will be called"Indecisive

    9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
    your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what
    we mean.

    10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

    [This message has been edited by Mariah (edited November 16, 2000).]

    here's one more:

    Learn to pronounce tomatoes properly. It's pronounced to-mar-toes, not to-may-toes.

    dumb yankees


      12. Bahamas and Hawai are no more the top holiday destinations your travel agents and start your bookings for Bali and Fiji ....for those of you who dont know where these places are your punishment is exile to Australia


        And whats with the funny accents? They have got to go.

        One more thing - If us British are in an amercan store, please leave us alone. We are a very reserved bunch and like to shop peacefully - without any hassles from your sales assistants

        P.s. From now on, you don't have to smile if you don't feel like smiling


          ...And a Router is a Rooter not a Rowter.

          (had to get that one off my chest.. been bugging me for ages!)



            This is heatin up


              Brilliantly funny Mariah!

              - I call on her Majesty to abolish the term "American" !

              - And all former "Americans" should be sent on language courses to be taught the Queens English.


                Originally posted by Mr Xtreme:
                here's one more:

                Learn to pronounce tomatoes properly. It's pronounced to-mar-toes, not to-may-toes.

                dumb yankees
                Gizzyyyyyyyyyyyyy DEKHOOOOOOOOOOO

                Guys - Gizzy is ALWAYZ picking on my about this - he says it the yankee way!!!!!!

                Thank youuuuuuu Mr Xtreme


                ~*~* Gizzy Ki Jaano.. *~*~


                  Mem ji,

                  This Gizzy you are always talking about is an American ?!?

                  Here's some tomayyyterrs to chuck in his direction

                  ----> (Gizzy)

                  learn to say it properly you damn Umreecun


                    Hey.. American Bashing day


                    Btw, I do like your trucks


                      Btw, I do like your trucks
                      You mean Utes

                      [This message has been edited by Anchal (edited November 16, 2000).]


                        Now now children, please behave

                        No more tomato throwing ok?

                        Or you`re gonna have to write the above post 100 times!!!!!


                          Freaking Brits farting crap again. Last week the daughter of a Janitor became the first Black (and woman) to be named the President of Brown, an elite institution. When England will have an Asian Female Provost of Oxford or Cambridge, we might consider joining the Union. Until then, eat crumpets and drink hot beer. Pigs.


                            I have always wanted to know
                            why in the world are the brits called pommies?

                            I think clinton should pay a visit to the Queen
                            they will become intimate (ofcourse)
                            they get married
                            Clinton becomes the King
                            yahilla yahilla


                              Originally posted by Anchal:
                              I have always wanted to know
                              why in the world are the brits called pommies?
                              I think you're talking about Australians.

                              They're a weird bunch too!!

                              NYAhmedi: I didn't know you cared so much about your homeland!!

                              P.s. I hate the Brits too