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    Trust

    Salaam all,

    Funny word is trust. Sometimes when you think you know someone, and you share everything with them, your thoughts, your happiness your sorrows, you TRUST them and then they go and throw it all back in your face.

    Personally I dont trust anyone, even though they maybe genuine. I dont know, maybe it is due to experiences I have been through, that i find it hard to believe in anyone enough to tell them my deepest thoughts and sorrows.

    How easy do you guys find it to REALLY trust someone with anything? Who you are 100% sure will not tell another living soul? Do you think that not being able to trust someone close to you can cause problems later in life? e.g Your spouse.

    Do we really know our spouses? do we really KNOW those people who we are dear to us?

    Do We know anything about anyone in this day and age?

    Or maybe you think I am being to pessimistic and suspicious?

    Love to hear your views

    #2
    Salam Mariah,

    Thats something intersting. So please wait for my opinion.

    Comment


      #3
      'Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice.'
      --Shakespeare, Hamlet...i think

      Comment


        #4
        It depends, how weak you are when it comes to trusting someone.

        Also, how do you expect to know anything about anyone? You should be able to trust your love-ones and people who are dear to you without and reason or questions.

        If they don't trust you or you don't trust them, why are they so dear to you, if they can't be trusted? HUH?

        ------------------
        *V~V~V*He came, He saw, He conquered*V~V~V*

        Comment


          #5
          >>you TRUST them and then they go and throw it all back in your face.<<
          Its called fear of betrayal ...you can't trust others if you have this fear in the back of your mind...its always wise not to share your secrets till the other person proves to earn your trust.

          >>Personally I dont trust anyone, even though they maybe genuine<<
          I think if you find someone genuine and you still don't trust him/her then you are not being fair with urself and are missing out on something very special in your life...

          >>How easy do you guys find it to REALLY trust someone with anything? <<
          Anything which pushes you out of your comfort zone is not easy and I believe the learning curve only begins when you are exploring. Its worth a risk and no 'hundred percent' expectations should be set...

          >>Do you think that not being able to trust someone close to you can cause problems later in life? e.g Your spouse<<
          Yes, those who do trust you may get hurt...

          >>Do we really know our spouses? do we really KNOW those people who we are dear to us?<<
          We can never really 'know' the other person cuz humans are not objects...they change with time, experiences, environment and circumstances. You don't play it safe when it comes to trusting others.

          >>Or maybe you think I am being to pessimistic and suspicious?<<
          I think you have legitimate questions and people who do find a trust worthy partner or friend are lucky...so give it a shot based on 'your judgements' and you might end up among the lucky ones.

          ciao
          BoSS

          Comment


            #6
            Wa'salam Mariah. Trust hmm. Interesting how small a word yet how big a connotation. I agree in this day and age, it's quite difficult to trust just anyone. However, trust is something which is gained with the passage of time. Time tells all. Plus if someone really wants you to trust them, they will GIVE you that trust themselves first.

            [This message has been edited by Rarediamonds & Gold (edited October 09, 2000).]

            Comment


              #7
              Well, thing is, don't trust everyone, but after knowing people for some amount of time, you should be able to trust them. Fakes soon get found out. You have to give trust to get it. Everyone will show their colours at the end of the day, so just learn as you go along.

              Basically, it's a two way thing.

              Comment


                #8
                Mariah trust is a very fragile bond, and needs to be tended to with extreme care and caution. The tiniest struggle can shatter it, requiring possibly years to regain, or maybe never. Some people trust too fast and just pour their heat out, and the next person takes it as a sign of desperation, and gets scared off.

                Not trusting anyone will result in a lonely life, if you are ready to pay this hefty price, go right ahead. Instead try to limit your trust to very few individuals, and eve then so slowly allow yourself to open up. Continue only if they are returning your trust by also confiding in you, if you see that you are on a one way street, stop.

                Personally i trust my friends to a certain extent, and thats it. My parents and siblings however, i can trust without a hesitation.

                ------------------
                o©º°¨¨°º©o LiFe Is An IllUsIoN aNd ReAliTy iS a FiGmEnT oF tHe iMaGiNaIiOn o©º°¨¨°º©o

                Comment


                  #9
                  Salaam Mariah

                  First of all trust is not a funny word at all. In fact its very crucial part of a person’s life. Like you I too find my self in the same situation. I had been the victim of few events in past that made me loose my trust on every body even my friends and family members. I broke every connection with the real world and started to find shelter in the so-called imaginary world of internet. Talking about internet, my prime area of interest was chatting. I was happy to be in this world because I feel no fear of any sort if any person mistrust me. On the other hand it helped me build my trust too. I met very few people here who really changed my way of thinking and my attitude toward life. I started to share my sorrows and happiness with them and they also do the same. Its like knowing every thing but knowing nothing, because u have never seen or met that person face to face and you don’t fear any thing if that person throws it back on your face. After being in this business I met some nice people and share every thing with them but still find my self in the same dilemma. No matter how hard I try to trust people close to me, but the feeling of mistrust is still there. If a person tells me anything, the first and foremost feeling that I get is that he is making fool of me. Although I try to reason out thing in my mind that he or she is a trustworthy person but still find my self in a mumbo jumbo. So now what I do is that I put that person to a test, and made him go through it by all means and based on the result of that test I judge whether to trust that person or not. After this I once in a while put him or her to test just to make sure that I have made a correct decision. I have been practicing this for some time and now I seem to find few people who I can trust. I don’t put them to test that often but still I keep my eyes open. You are 100% right Mariah, there is fair chance that this sort of attitude would cause lot of problem not only in the present circumstances but also for the future. This attitude brings a drastic change in a person’s life and no matter how hard he or she tries to change it, it stays there and once in a while strike back. In my case I am very much worried about this habit. Because pretty soon, Insha Allah, I will be getting married and if this problem persist, I don’t know what disasters would it bring into my married life. One thing that I have started right now is to tell my self that she is the only person that I can trust in the whole world and if I don’t I wont be able to get out of this habit. So she is my last resort and the only way to get out of this dilemma. I hope and pray to Allah that he give me courage and put some some faith in me. As you don’t know any thing about any one in this day and age.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Salaam everyone,

                    You all have very valid points.

                    Watcher, you are right, near and dear ones should be able to be trusted.

                    Boss - RDG - Xtreme - kaka malang, thanks for your input also,
                    I am sure these are the voices of experience

                    Attraction,
                    I suppose chatting thru the internet does have its advantages, you can let your thoughts and feelings out knowing that no one will ever know who you are, better and cheaper than going to a shrink huh http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif only joking!!

                    Inshallah you will be able to trust your spouse, I hope so anyway, and hopefully you will have a great life together.

                    Wasalaam

                    [This message has been edited by Mariah (edited October 10, 2000).]

                    [This message has been edited by Mariah (edited October 10, 2000).]

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Hey u know what Mariah,

                      The best person to tell ur secrets, problems etc, is ur mother, no matter how old u r.

                      Even when u r married and have children and u r responsible for ur actions, the best person to talk to is ur mother, because, a mother is ur hamdard, she is the one who gave birth to u and will understand ur problems.

                      Even when u have a problem and u r trying to hide it, ur mother will understand there is something wrong!

                      TRUST ME!! I have trusted almost everyone, my sister, my friends, my cousins, but I saw that nothing can stay in there stomach, and the only person who said nothing to a SOUL was my mother!!

                      So when u have no one, u still have someone, ur mother.

                      u can also trust me!http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif



                      [This message has been edited by Lollypop (edited October 10, 2000).]

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Hey Mariah...!

                        Trust..hmmmmmm !! well... i do trust ppl a lot to sum extent... i donno if thats a prob.. but i don't think so.. been hurt a lot of times.. but i guess i always hoped that atleast sumone will b worth it...

                        i used the expression 'to sum extent'... well yeah thats wut i meant.. i guess i haven't trusted sumone completely... not enuff to tell the deepest darkest secrets...or in other words the 'whole truth'...

                        i don't think i ever can....

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