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    Personal insults..

    What does it mean when someone tells you what you dont have...(i.e that you are not good enuff in some way)..
    Do you feel bad about yourself, and hide it in the anger towards that person...Oh yeah , you arent that hot either....OR
    Do you thank them for taking interest in you, and caring to share information that you can use to possibly reevaluate yourself..
    Please note that first is the response to the feeling.....and second a response to the content, of the message..

    #2
    Nova, I smile on mild insults, and laugh loud on major ones. Don’t bother me a bit. I kinda enjoy being insulted. In the household that I grewup in, insults were part of the growing process. I try not to do that to my kids, as they are growing up in a completely different environment than I did. But at times, I feel like saying something to them, but after a moment, the feeling subsides and it is so boring when that happens.

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      #3
      ur kids have to call u their daddy.... when their real father lives right next door. thats an insult by itself. http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smile.gif

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        #4
        NYAhmedi,
        So you dont take it seriously ...fair compromise....
        But the downside is that you cannot use that information to help you get better understanding of yourself...
        There is absolutely no way you can tell kids what they dont have..They dont owe it to anyone to be any which way....
        When we tell someone what they dont have , we are actually comparing them to our idea of what they should be..and of course we dont have a right to do that.....

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          #5
          Lemme give you an example. See how mundyaa jumps right on with an insult. I can tell him that his answer suggests that his mom has a relationship with his next door neighbor, but I wont tell him that because she might actually have it with the whole village, which will make my assumption totally wrong. So should I take his insult seriously?

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            #6
            you would be amazed at how so many people only insult others so that they can feel good about themselves. feelings of hostility more often than not originate from jealousy. if someone makes an insult at me, I would just think it over, see how much truth there is to it, if any, fine! it's only the truth, there! i am not insulted. and if not, you shake it off your head. no point in taking cheap shots at someone who's not worth the effort.

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              #7
              yeh dhooan saa kahan sai uth raha hei? o wait a second its the same guy who said he can take insults with a laugh. http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smile.gif

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                #8
                NY Ahmedi,
                He is not saying this about you....He is saying this to the person he takes you to be.....its unfortunate that he lacks the capacity to see and love the things about you that so many others can see....
                He is losing you as a friend, and thats a big loss......

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                  #9
                  Actualy somehting very interesting can happen, when you dont respond to an insult with anger...It confuses the person who is trying to get a rise..Cause you dont turn out to be what he expected.....

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                    #10
                    Nova Yar, you are so smart.

                    Mundyaa, I did laugh for a second, because what you said classifies only as a “minor” insult. The major insult to me will be for some kind words from you. That will truly devastate (I mean I will laugh out of my pants) my mental equilibrium.

                    Nova Yar, you are so smart!

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                      #11
                      NY Ahmedi,
                      Sorry man,,,,I didnt mean to disregard your anger......

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                        #12
                        it has happened ....and i take the insult in stride...and depending on who says it..and how much meaning it has to me... would warrant my reaction to the insult... sometimes i'm like "whatever" other times i guess i would take it the wrong way or the right way.... most of the times i guess i would get upset, or defensive...but not really angry.

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                          #13
                          Thanks Hayaa, i never thought of insults as originating from jealousy...even though i knew most people did it to make themselves feel big, or make others feel small. *sheepish smile* guess i just never thought of it in that way http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smile.gif And...ummm well i think the difference here is between insults and criticism, i mean an insult is something said with the intention to hurt or put u down..while criticism can be either constructive or destructive. I think its harder to brush off remarks made by those close to u--as opposed to those from acquantainces. I mean when someone close to u insults u...or says something in a negative manner..it does hurt no matter what u make yourself feel--cuz u do care about them and so their opinion matters to u also....no matter if what they say is true or not--simply because of their intent. But someone said something to me the other day, about how if u let your circumstances/environment control u then u are a victim, but if u do not submit to your environment then u will emerge victorious.

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