I am a college student in america and there is this trend i have noticed here...(this is in regards to the pakistani's either born or raised abroad in a non-muslim society)don't know of how many of you are in college or about ready to go or been through this yourself but here is a story.....
most of the pakistani and other muslims here who for the first time are away from their parents watchful eyes either take on an alter ego that noone back home knows about or stay the way they normally are....
as far as i can see, the people who change, are those who have been kept under 'extreme' control that when they have the chance in a new place, independant from their parents where they cannot be caught, they go overboard....these are the pakistanis who were disciplined strictly about everything....as an exapmle, i have a friend who was disciplined HARSHLY for many minor things, now that he is in college, he's telling me about how he despises his parents and wants nothing to do with them.....he hasn't yet but plans to party all night, attend clubs, drink, have girls over, everything his parents have always discouraged by inciting fear!
i mean he is practically a hafiz-al quran and calls azan in the masjid back home....but this was accomplished b/c his parents made him do it, he has no conviction in what he has been taught....
there are many examples of ppl who have already crossed the edge and were raised up the same way, with a stick on their backs....
and not just physical abuse but rather just so much control that the kid doesn't get to really experience right and wrong for themselves but are told about it instead...
I mean i practically grew up with this kid for 15 years and know the family pretty well ...the older sibling did the same thing in college and did it out of spite....
another person i know was a saint back home but took on a boyfriend in college, hung out with boys constantly and is now begining to realize her mistake...she was strictly stopped from even talking to boys back home and ironically she has never been physically disciplined by her parents; but, the same result has been accomplished by fear and control...
but the ppl who don't change are those that had some freedom at home; i don't mean anything extreme but what i mean is that they are given decisions and encouraged to make the right one....they aren't as sheltered from the ways of the world and so i feel don't need to experience what has been forbidden...as they say curiosity killed the cat but if you have no curiosity, you live the full 9 lives....
for example, i have lived outside pakistan since i was 5, i have no urge to disobey my parents and they know all that i do in college b/c i tell them....they trust me and i keep to their expectations...I mean i was disciplined for mistakes but i was also told why and it wasn't b/c of fear of what my parents would do, i obeyed b/c i knew right from wrong...
But more and more young ppl are losing their pakistani identity and becoming like the westerners and want to do the same thing...i think it is the parents fault from not know what's going on and also b/c they don't know how to raise them correctly in this new enviroment...
most of the pakistani and other muslims here who for the first time are away from their parents watchful eyes either take on an alter ego that noone back home knows about or stay the way they normally are....
as far as i can see, the people who change, are those who have been kept under 'extreme' control that when they have the chance in a new place, independant from their parents where they cannot be caught, they go overboard....these are the pakistanis who were disciplined strictly about everything....as an exapmle, i have a friend who was disciplined HARSHLY for many minor things, now that he is in college, he's telling me about how he despises his parents and wants nothing to do with them.....he hasn't yet but plans to party all night, attend clubs, drink, have girls over, everything his parents have always discouraged by inciting fear!
i mean he is practically a hafiz-al quran and calls azan in the masjid back home....but this was accomplished b/c his parents made him do it, he has no conviction in what he has been taught....
there are many examples of ppl who have already crossed the edge and were raised up the same way, with a stick on their backs....
and not just physical abuse but rather just so much control that the kid doesn't get to really experience right and wrong for themselves but are told about it instead...
I mean i practically grew up with this kid for 15 years and know the family pretty well ...the older sibling did the same thing in college and did it out of spite....
another person i know was a saint back home but took on a boyfriend in college, hung out with boys constantly and is now begining to realize her mistake...she was strictly stopped from even talking to boys back home and ironically she has never been physically disciplined by her parents; but, the same result has been accomplished by fear and control...
but the ppl who don't change are those that had some freedom at home; i don't mean anything extreme but what i mean is that they are given decisions and encouraged to make the right one....they aren't as sheltered from the ways of the world and so i feel don't need to experience what has been forbidden...as they say curiosity killed the cat but if you have no curiosity, you live the full 9 lives....
for example, i have lived outside pakistan since i was 5, i have no urge to disobey my parents and they know all that i do in college b/c i tell them....they trust me and i keep to their expectations...I mean i was disciplined for mistakes but i was also told why and it wasn't b/c of fear of what my parents would do, i obeyed b/c i knew right from wrong...
But more and more young ppl are losing their pakistani identity and becoming like the westerners and want to do the same thing...i think it is the parents fault from not know what's going on and also b/c they don't know how to raise them correctly in this new enviroment...
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