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What if....

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    What if....

    What do you do when you can't trust someone who you believed in all your childhood? What if they had done something to hurt you, yet because of your folks you have to speak to them. Can you honestly look at that person without feeling resentment?

    Although this may sound stupid, I once prided myself that I wasn't able to hate anyone, no matter what they did to me. I could dislike them, but not hate them. But now I'm not so sure, I hate that person for doing something thats made be capeable of hate and hating them...does that make sense? Can you guys help?

    [This message has been edited by libra (edited June 22, 2000).]


    two theories of trust i used to follow #1 and now follow #2.

    1) trust people unless they give you a reason not to trust them
    2) dont trust people unless they give you a reason to trust them.

    start following #2.
    ideally it would be #1 but we dunn live in an ideal world.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.


      It doesn't sound stupid at all. And it does make sense. Whenever something like that happens it hurts alot....more than alot. But you gotta grin and bear it, i mean afterall most of the time we aren't in position where we can really do anything about it..."crying on the inside, laughing on the outside"<--i think thats from a song.

      Can u honestly look at that person without feeling resentment? I don't know, i really want say yes, but its like shattering a vase, it breaks pieces, 2 pieces, 3 pieces, 4...a hundred, doesn't matter how many, the point is its broken, but not lost...cuz u still have the pieces; and u can either leave the pieces lying there with their jagged edges-which will cut you each time you go over that path, or you can gather them, and mend the vase. Sure it will never be the same, the trust is gone...forever..maybe. You will have the vase again, but it will never be the same..because there will be the cracks to remind you.

      There's that saying, 'forgive and forget', its easier to forgive than forget, no wait maybe not easier, its just that its possible to forgive....but is it really possible to forget???

      I mean eventually there will come a time when you are ready to forgive that person, no matter how unlikely that seems at the beginning, because deep down somewhere you still care about that person, and those feelings will have you forgive them. But then i don't know, i mean if we aren't able to forget what they did doesn't that weaken our forgiveness in a way. Like Libra was asking...will we ever be able to look at them without feeling resentment etc... i guess you could say without resentment, but you wont ever be able to look at them the same because of what happened...i mean there will always be that memory coloring/tainting everything......i guess what i want to ask is that wrong? Does that weaken your forgiveness of them?


        Being able to forgive someone really depends upon how much and how severely they have hurt you. Sometimes, the hurt is so strong that even an apology can not heal the wound. And no matter what the other person does to try to compensate it, it just doesn't seem to work. People have a hard time understanding sometimes, that if they have hurt you and they are doing so much in trying to make up why can't the person whom they have hurt, just get over it and forgive them. The reason is that it's not the action which hurts so much, but it's what we feel after getting hurt, which is no unbearable. Therefore, you have to really dig into yourself and see if you can find it in YOU to be able to forgive this person. If you can then all the better, but if you can't, then you do hold the right not to. Look inside yourself, that's where the answer lies. Best of luck.


          been there libra...well, i still talk to the person...i have forgiven him/her, but it's just not the can never be the same...know what i mean...


            I'm also a Libra so I know Librans are very sensitive and wanna be always fair, u know well libra. That's a big problem, because your head says something but your dil nahin maanta...
            Forget it, time cures everything, relations might not remain the same but if it wasn't your fault don't let this spoil your mood. You always keep your peace of mind, and if time gives you the chance to do the same to that "gaddar", well then don't do it, time will do.
            Dost dost na raha, yaar yaar na raha,
            par zindagi hume phir bhi tera etbar raha.


              Just logged on to say thank you guys and gals for your advice, I do appreciate it.

              I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.


                do hi halatain hain
                1. bewaqoof yaqeen main or
                2. Aqalman shaq main zindagi guzartay hain

                agay aap ki marzi hay
                Meray Roz O Shab k Nisaab Main Meray Paas Apna To Kuch Nahi