closeness....

[Nova]

We have often heard ppl talk about their loved ones, i.e Family , friends , lovers...as almost being a part of them..."
Sometimes it gets to the point where clear distinction of two individuals becomes grey..
How close are u guys to ppl that you are close to ?...do you feel as almost an extension of them ?...
When their happiness makes you happy , and their sorrows make you sad.....is it like you can feel the way they are feeling , cause you know them so well, or is it that you feel part of you is it more then that...
( I know its not an easy question to answer...here is a hint though, your first gut reaction is wrong.., think before you say anyhting )

[Mem Sahib]

Nova Ji - which one of your threads are easy to answer.... Sab tho dimhaag ghooma dethi hai... http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/eek.gif

Anyway I think when you love someone and you are close to them and you care for them so much that you know them better than you know yourself... and they also know you better than you know yourself...

SO you also know how they will feel in certain situations...because you know them so closely... you know how they will react emotionally physically and mentally to situations...

I am of course close to all my friends.... but my soul mate is Gizzy....( mem ki jaan )
I know him better than he knows himself..and he knows me too... he instantionously knows when I am in a mood... when I am worried, when I have something on my mind... http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/blush.gif

We both feel ke we have grown into each other ... we finish each others sentences and we think alike... but we're different people and we think dofferently too - we just know each other well...and it feels good that there is someone out there who cares so much and who also knows you - Un se tum kuch nahi chuppa sackthay... http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smile.gif

I guess this is what you call loving someone and caring for someone... when they hurt ... you hurt too coz they are hurting and when you hear them laugh then you feel so happy that they are happy ... I also think it's human nature.... to laugh and cry with a loved one..

mm Nova Ji - Itna kaafi hai..

MS
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/devil.gif

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~*~* Friendship is love without wings.. ~*~*

[This message has been edited by Mem Sahib (edited June 20, 2000).]

[~Amber~]

How close are u guys to ppl that you are close to ?...

i am as close to them as i want to be or as close to them as they will allow me to be....depends on who it is and its context..
was that vague enough? http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smile.gif

[kohal]

hey nova http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smile.gif
well, i kinda (for once) find this question of yours very easy to answer. i've thought
about it quite frequently & so i sorta already know its answer.
it's true.....my Close ones are a part of me. Cuz of my family, i am who i am today. So
obviusly they're an extension of me. When they get upset, almost telepathetically (sp?) i
get upset -- or worried.
Close friends are the exact same thing. In a way, they're a reflection of my feelings,
yet a refraction of my personality.
(ha! aint' that a lame comparison) When the're depressed, oh lord, then i get
depressed. If they have wonderful news to share, then i'm jumping off the walls http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smile.gif cuz i'm
so excited for them.
it's crazy.......how hyped up i can get cuz of them.

Nova, you know what i'm talking about right? Like you know what we all are talking about?
I'm sure you can relate to this stuff...

I knwo one thing i can say, like practically what MemSahib said ---> no matter what, you
love those folks with all your might...

[~Amber~]

sorry nova...
going off topic, this was sent to me and wanted to share it too.


People come into your life for a reason, a season,or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,to provide with guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then,without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you
an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it!It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person/people (any way);and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life...

[dilse]

Mem Sahib..you are great yar....


dil..dilse..dil to akhir dil hai na

[NYAhmadiX]

As close as a peel to the banana, and as imminent as H to the O in water. When you are close, you are close. When you are not close, you are basically apart. Some I feel very closed with, and some I don’t. Some I have no feelings one way or another, like the hotdog vendor outside of my building.

[desi larki]

How close i am to a person depends obviously on what their relationship 2 me is, and yes when u lv someone and are linked to them emotionally then u do feel upset when they are upset, cry when they cry and laugh with them when times are good, does that answer ur sawal? i mean i personally think that when u lv someone deeply over a period of time u sort of absorb some of their character, like u know what makes them, happy sad etc so u are able 2 reflect their emotions ( at least that has been my tajarba)

[Roman]

Nova sir ji, I don't have any guts and hence am not getting any reaction from them either. Next question.

[ChannMahi]

yar I am very close to these two ladies, one is young and pretty and the other is old and prettier....but I like to be not very close to them when the younger one has bailna in her hand or the elder one raises her right hand too quickly too high......

[Nova]

Folks,
A little clarification...I am not looking for any answers here....Its my humble attempt to stimulate thinking for myself and you all nice ppl...
Its one of the developmental tasks to form an individual identity....When a child is born , presumably, due to lack of cognition , it feels as being the centre of the world , with everyhting around it an extension of itself....First with the development of brain , the realization of ones body as being an entity seperate from the rest of the world is formed...
Second and more subtle stage is that of differentiating ourselves psychologically from those that once seemed a part of us..imeediate caregiver , immediate family..
If this process of seperation is too traumatic,it results in a personality that either distances itself too much or is prone to get too close i.e forms fused relationships where individual boundries get blurred...
Like so many other psychological parameters, its very hard to quatify closeness....It does show itself in certain ways... If you find yourself overidealizing , and devaluating ppl....if you find yourself getting dissappointed in ppl, ...if you find yourself feeling empty and incomplete with out your close ones.....then you probably have the kind of personality that gets too close....
Supposedly the closest relationship is the intimate one...( ONE is important here) which is said to be a reenactment of the fused relationship with our first caregivers....and even in this one, one needs to maintain distance...Remember Jibran, when he said....let there be spaces in your togetherness.....and..fill each others cup , but drink not from the same cup...
( We desis as a culture have poor seperation /individuation, and are prone to get too close in our relationships.....)

[This message has been edited by Nova (edited June 20, 2000).]

[DeSiMuNdA]

works both ways nova...at least for me...i am as close to a person as i want to be, keepin in mind what he/she wants...and depending on that, we share with each other whatever we think is appropriate...both joy and pain in time...

[Rarediamonds & Gold]

Amber nice posting.

Nova, as to answer your question, all I can say is, when it comes down to how close you are with someone, then it all boils down to what and how your understanding is with that person. Who that person is in relation to you. For example, my relationship with my parents might be slightly different from the relationship with my siblings, and relationship with siblings might differ from that which I have with friends. However, every person we meet in our life, brings us some kind of experience. Let it be good or bad. And one should learn from that experience and apply it to all aspects of life.

[This message has been edited by Rarediamonds & Gold (edited June 20, 2000).]