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Relatives back home

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    Relatives back home

    Has anyone around here found it difficult to communicate or interact with close relatives like Aunts and Uncles or cousins etc back in Pakistan?

    You grew up among them and at some point were close to them, still do feel close and caring, but only a bit more reserved of what you would like to discuss with them in terms of how you have grown different and what now has become more personal and private to you.

    Also, how do you communicate this inoffensively in the 'culturally acceptable way', considering that you are only talking over the phone?

    I don't doubt people's sincerity or affection when they express their concerns over something that I may feel personal, but just because somebody is being sincere and loving does not mean that he/should start advising you of your personal matters.

    What do you do or think?

    wOW! So I'm not the only one feeling that way

    GOod question. I wrote a reply and deleted it, lets see what others have to say on this one ...


    [This message has been edited by Daysee Behna (edited May 24, 2000).]



      Nope not anymore 'cause i am going back to Pakistan in june the 16th.
      So i am HAPPY

      Live From- Dayara-e-Ghair


        Roman yara, ki ho geya ay yara?

        This is nothing my friend. Just listen to what they have to say, one thing you canít take away is their concern and love for your well-being. That to me is a wonderful thing. You donít have to agree with them, but just listening to them will enrich your perspective. My mom always puts her two cents into what I do 6000 miles away from her, and I love it. My uncles and aunts do the same to me. I just bow my head and donít mind being a Qurbani ka Bakra (only in their imagination), but I do what I think meets my need.

        They are just showing their love for you.


          I couldn't express myself better NYA Yaar.
          Roman, just listen and say that you can't wait to get HOME.

          (PS Have you become so much of an alien to ur family?)


            Ahmadi yaar, it's not about caring and affection only. People sometimes cross the line by trying to control your live in your personal matters. If it happens few times, that's ok, you can forget it. But if it is a constant phenomenon then you realize that people need to grow.

            And if continues to happen then eventually it becomes emotional blackmail.


              Roman, Lets assume that I'm ur cousin so here is what I'd say if I tele marring u ;-)

              Hello Roman oye! kitna kama laitay ho?
              Gori shori set ki hai ya nai?
              Yaar shadi kub kur rhay ho?...(regardless of ur answer) I'd say Abay kyoon?
              Wapis kub aa rhay ho? Humain yaad nhin kurtay? haan ji bharay aadmi ho gaay ho (32 teeth smile that u can't see)

              Roman Jawab do! wurna! huh! phoophi da putter hai hi aay ho jya!



       yeah i miss them...been in usa for almost 9 years never went back...


                Till next time***Keep_It_Simple_Stupid***©


                  BoSS, meiN tung aaN aiho jay phoopi day putraaN koloN


                    every one here having a nostalgic fit i see. I would have to travel as far as toronto to visit my cuzs., aunts etc. now. they are all migrating here in hordes. still have a few back home though...... wonder when they'll be here?

                    [This message has been edited by blitz (edited May 29, 2000).]