Forced Marriages

[Darling Me]

Yep! Its hit the headlines again folks!
"Efforts will be concentrated on Pakistani, Indian and Bangladeshi communities".
Good old Foreign Office...

So, in the age of freedom and all the rest, what do u guys think of the above...?

[Shirin]

Please give us more details - what is this all about?

[faceup]

The issue of arranged & sometimes forced marriage has been a hot & simmering issue in the UK where parents of girls born or raised in the UK are sometimes forced into marriage unions against their wishes.

The following links will assist in understanding:
http://news1.thls.bbc.co.uk/hi/engli...8000/48008.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/...000/107785.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/...000/353464.stm

[Muzna]

Interesting.

Since coming to the UK I have spent a great deal of time forming comparisons of lifestyles and values. There are distinct differences in the way South Asians perceive life on this side of the Atlantic as opposed to the other side.

faceup's links serve to prove the theory that the issue of forced marriages is much more prevalent in UK than in other parts of the western world.

Can anyone tell us why?

[Mr Fraudia]

Muz

the number of desis as a percentage of population makes the issue much more apparent. Additionally the social background of a significant number of desis in UK may have somfin to do with it.

[This message has been edited by Fraudz (edited March 08, 2000).]

[Muzna]

That's precisely what I keep saying to the folks here.

Unfortunately they have this major block in accepting this fact. I think it's the "my place is better than your place" syndrome.

Fact of the matter is that the percentage desis in UK from rural, illiterate backgrounds is much higher than in North America. This characteristic has a direct impact on the quality of life and the values, ethics they live by.

[Mr Fraudia]

Muzna the fast is that the social classes are much more separated in UK deis than in US. You will hardly see any intermingling of white collar folks with blue collar ones.

Its a kind of mindset that states, oh yes so you are a pakistani, well if we were in pakistan we would be in completely different social circles and the fact that you are a pakistani and I am a pakistani does not change that.

The forced marriage issue has overwhelmingly involved familes with rural and lesser educated backgrounds.

[Muzna]

Let's transfer this to another thread....it's a topic on it's own.

And yes, I agree that the forced marriage issue is one that prevails in only certain classes.

[NYAhmadiX]

Dear Muzna,

This has been my observation as well. It does appear to be the case. In all my acquaintances with Pakistanis here, I have not seen any case of such a marriage (I have seen a few unhappy ones, but not “forced” ones), and I do know a lot of people. I saw many such cases in England, when I was a student there. I think the reasons are varied.

For one, Pakistanis have been living in England a lot longer than they have been living in USA and Canada. In England, majority of Pakistanis came from Mirpur to work in textile industry of Manchester and Liverpool. They emigrated to UK in the mid 50’s, compared to more recently to US and Canada (In fact after the second oil shock of the late 70’s, early 80’s). In England they became very insular because of various reasons (worth multiple topics). (In USA and Canada they easily connected to various immigrant groups). This insularity made them look “inward” and they looked for fellow Pakistanis for their kids to marry. That is perhaps the single most obvious reason. (Pretty much what Muzna and Fraudia are saying).

Secondly, a professional class immigrated to the US and Canada and with that a little broader picture of social commitments. I don’t mean to say it is an precarious sense, since more recently there is a growing influx of Pakistanis in the secondary labor market and with that there ought to be an increase in such forced marriages among Pakistanis living in the US and Canada. (Pretty much what Muzna and Fraudia are saying).

[cold]

speaking from a non statistical stance - it may happen but the british media are renowned for streotypical attitudes towards groups of people they know little about - thus again I feel this is a jump on the bandwagon for the media - and the 'slack' government take their word for it

[Farhina]

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
therfore, even you do love marriage . You will require to have understanding in your relationship.Which is the basic of arrnage marriages. Understanding comes first and then love in arrange marriage.Whereas in love marriage there is lot of love and lust that you forget all about the understanding part.As someone wise said, Love is blind, marriage is eye opener.
May God Bless you all.
TLC
Farhina.

[Mr Fraudia]

Originally posted by cold:
british media are renowned for streotypical attitudes towards groups of people they know little about

surely you are not suggesting that other media like australian, american or even arab media does not engage in stereotyping?

Maybe it catches media's attention more in UK because desis are just a much bigger chunk of poplulation there than any other western country.

[cold]

I presume this media thing is generic. regardless of location.

[The Emissary]

A very valid point Farhina

[Pakistan Hero]

First i will say that shaadi is not to be forced.if ladki get the propose from shareef admi she should say yes with her own will. she should have the aqal so she has will to say yes to shareef pakistani admi.not like me cousin sister.

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Pakistan Hero
your Hero
http://pak_for_life.tripod.com/