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    A new forum please

    As a certified, bonafide, thick hide doctor, I would like to impart my useful knowledge of medicine to all fellow guppsters on this forum. For that purpose, i recommend/ request formation of a new forum dedicated to guppsters asking me questions related to medicine. I will be glad to log on an average of twice a day to answer all their queries.

    PS. To all married men...i cannot, repeat, cannot give out prescriptions for viagra on the forum. Please contact in person for that.

    ------------------
    Ab Dawa nahin, duwa ki zaroorat hai,

    #2
    tauba tabua
    itni buri shakal ka doctor
    jab dekhtay dhi dar kay maray mar jana hay to asi hi mar jana acha hay

    Comment


      #3
      Doctor, meri biwi ko bacha lo doctor.

      App Anchal kee baat ka bura nahin manyay gaa. Larki ka dimagh kharab hay per dill kee achchi hay.

      BTW, doctor sahib, aapnay apna address to dia hee naheen. How can we contact you in person. And believe me,I need to contact you in person (damn, this rule of not giving out that prescription in this forum)
      The prince who is otherwise known as TLK

      Comment


        #4
        Dear Anchal.
        Rather than put up a fake 'good looking' pic, like some people have done, why not be on the safe side and keep it at a point from where u have no where to go but up

        Tariq sahib...first i need to analyze ur situation..give me ur exact problems that u are having. I will then decide whether it warrants a personal visit or not.

        Comment


          #5
          a doctor is not 1 who mends peoples parts , he is one who mends peoples hearts-
          Book Of Sages


          ------------------
          Your luv maybe a thrill but it doesnt pay my bill.

          [This message has been edited by ^Dr-Cash^ (edited April 06, 2000).]

          [This message has been edited by ^Dr-Cash^ (edited April 06, 2000).]

          Comment


            #6
            Dear Doctor McGrowin, this is very nice of you offer your free service to your fellow brethren. I, personally, am grateful and it will be a most invaluable section on this site. Like many others, I suffer from a few conditions that I would like your opinion on. I posted, a few days ago, about my constipation problem and I got many responses. However, some of the recommendations were not scientific and resulted in the opposite rather than curing my problem. I now suffer from excessive output syndrome. It is good but it can be very time consuming. I have work to do too.

            One more condition that I suffer from is Gastronomic sound system. As much as I enjoy it, my family gets on my case every time they hear the music. Could you please share some remedies for this condition.

            Straightforwardly yours

            Comment


              #7
              Dear Brother NYA
              Thank you for your acknowledgement and ur queries.
              As for your constipation problem, of course the obvious solution that comes to mind is to reverse course, but apparently u have already tried that, resulting in excessive output, which, in the medical world is known as 'free flow below". The constipation issue can be resolved by using a ceramic squat pot imported from Pakistan. However, you might need a permit from the buildings department in order to get it installed in your new york abode. However, once installed, it is guaranteed to rid u of ur constipation once and forever. Just be sure to squat as wide as possible.
              The gastronomic sound system that you refer to, commonly known in the medical community as "cheek speak" is curable as well as refinable. The squat pot imported from Pakistan has the ability to vacate ur bowels completely, removing any unwanted air as well. However, if u fail to accomplish that, u can always get retrofitted with a low bass equalizer, which should only be installed by a qualified surgeon, which will at least refine the sound quality, hence pleasing your family, and anyone else in the vicinity. Other accesories, such as a miniature cologne bottles are also available, which provide a fine whiff to the music.

              Comment


                #8
                Dear Dr. groi...err McGroin,

                I am so excited that we have you among us. Quite recently I have felt the need of such a service being provided to our valuable members.

                Now coming to my problem. Dear Dr. could it be that patients can also consult with you about their, well, you know... non-physical sort of problems? I am very shy and I really don't know how to say this but do you also consult in the matters of heart (speaking of heart purely non-surgically)?

                I will be eager to hear from you as I can use a lot of (actually, make it a ton) conselling on that. Thank you so much Dear Dr.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Dr. are you board certified? additionally what university did you go to. Please scan and post your qualifications first. Shukriya.

                  If you are a Jamshoro graduate, dont bother to reply.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Ahh there is a God up there afterall...Doc thanks for showing up...Please read my case too..

                    Doc some people are just a pain in my a$$...I went to the family doc and he gave me a chill pill....but I think the cure to my problem is in tranfering the pain to the source...but I would rather go with a professional opinion.

                    Patiently urs,
                    BoSS
                    p.s Ciao,

                    Comment


                      #11
                      As I, Holden McGroin, sit at my desk reading all the queries readers have put up, I realize the vast range medical problems that my fellow brethren go through.
                      Roman, I will be glad to answer any and all questions that you might have regarding ur heart condition, whether physical or emotional. And remember...dont be shy. Whatever u tell me during our conversations is covered under the patient doctor confidentiality act. So feel free to express urself. Its just me, Holden McGroin

                      Xfactor....copyright laws prohibit me from making copies of my degrees, hence i cannot oblige. Sorry.

                      Boss...if you have experience pain in the a$$, u will need a prompt colonoscopy. Regarding the chill pill u got from your family doc, was it an oral pill? If so, u got ripped off. For all such problems, u need a suppository. Redo the course, and this time, use a suppository. If it doesnt make a difference, come back to me and i will arrange for further tests. Good luck.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Dear Dr.

                        Thank you so much. I feel open now (again, speaking non-surgically here). I will definitely discuss my problem with you and I hope that I benefit from your expert and experienced opinion.

                        I read the word suppository in your post. I was just wondering (soley out of my sincere concern and love for my buddy, BoSS) that can a patient perform self-application or an aide is required? Since I'm concerned, I want to make sure that he's resources available if needed.

                        Thank you again, dear Dr.

                        [This message has been edited by Roman (edited April 06, 2000).]

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