Life in Santa Monica, CA. Looking for a desi perspective.

[a7mado]

You are basically saying that you will submit to your dads desire and you never mentioned how the ladies of the house feel about it. Do they have a say, would the entire family upend their life and go to a place so your dad can hang out with friends

My dad has made plenty of sacrifices over the years, never asked for much. So, if this is the one time he has asked us all for something, the least we can do is to say yes. Also, as I've mentioned earlier, we as a family have been planning on moving out of the Middle East for a while now. It was a matter of when and where. Everybody was fine with North America, I was the only one insisting the E.U.

Most males in the west do not hang with other males they spend quality time with family or do something productive with their life.

Lol, is this your way of trying to put me off moving to the U.S.?

Basically I understand that you dont need to apply for immigration and any country will allow you to settle there. Do you have US residency or EU?

I buy property, I get permanent residency, its a simple as that. In the U.S. the threshold is $900k if bought outright, Alhumdulillah our budget is much, MUCH higher than that, and we're buying outright. Hope that answers your question.

One place where Pakistanis dont have a chip on the shoulder, there are amazing restaurants, everything is halal and people live in joint families and pretty much in lap of luxury is Pakistan. Why not go live in Pakistan?

I still do not understand why you're so upset with my life decisions, even though they don't affect yours? And oh trust me, I would choose life in Islamabad F7/3, F6/3 over the REST OF THE WORLD.

[a7mado]

What the hell is wrong with you?

Its okay, let him vent out his frustrations.

[navzzz]

You sound like a cool guy and have done well for yourself and your family. Though I don't personally subscribe to the joint-family system but I can see some benefits there, and you should not be criticised for how you choose to live your life. I also believe parents should let go of their offsprings when time is right, but then we all are different people with widely differing world-views and family dynamics.

I lived in the USA for less than six months, mainly in the NYC and Missouri, and have visited a few times, but never liked it enough to make it home. Have you considered Australia, or is too far and secluded from rest of the World for you?

And BTW, not living on the continent seems like a good decision.

[a7mado]

You sound like a cool guy and have done well for yourself and your family. Though I don't personally subscribe to the joint-family system but I can see some benefits there, and you should not be criticised for how you choose to live your life. I also believe parents should let go of their offsprings when time is right, but then we all are different people with widely differing world-views and family dynamics.

I am of the opinion that in old age is when your parents need you the most, but I also believe that if my wife were not comfortable living with my parents, I would have no option but to move out. Alhumdulillah, wife and my mother are practically best friends at this point. So, living with the family is a no-brainer. But that's besides the point, like you said.

Also, up until last year, my work required me to travel a lot, and most of times I take my wife with me, so she gets to spend plenty of time with me, away from home.

I lived in the USA for less than six months, mainly in the NYC and Missouri, and have visited a few times, but never liked it enough to make it home. Have you considered Australia, or is too far and secluded from rest of the World for you?

Australia is just too far away form the rest of the world. As I've said earlier, if I could choose to, I would prefer living in the Italian lake district, for me Italy is perfection. Islamabad would be a close second, but since we have almost no family left in Pakistan whatsoever, it would get quite lonely quite fast, also the political instability.

And BTW, not living on the continent seems like a good decision.

Sorry, I didn't get that one.

[navzzz]

i meant not living on the continental Europe seems sensible for time being. Italy might be an exception though, right Le Pakistan

[a7mado]

Care to expand on that?

[Bobby1]

My dad has made plenty of sacrifices over the years, never asked for much. So, if this is the one time he has asked us all for something, the least we can do is to say yes. Also, as I've mentioned earlier, we as a family have been planning on moving out of the Middle East for a while now. It was a matter of when and where. Everybody was fine with North America, I was the only one insisting the E.U.



Lol, is this your way of trying to put me off moving to the U.S.?



I buy property, I get permanent residency, its a simple as that. In the U.S. the threshold is $900k if bought outright, Alhumdulillah our budget is much, MUCH higher than that, and we're buying outright. Hope that answers your question.



I still do not understand why you're so upset with my life decisions, even though they don't affect yours? And oh trust me, I would choose life in Islamabad F7/3, F6/3 over the REST OF THE WORLD.

I am absolutely not upset, just trying to understand your perspective as you asked for input, just a simple question as why not move to Pakistan if that culture, halal restaurants and joint family is that important?
iT is parents responsibility to make sacrifices, my boys are international athletes and I would be driving them at 5 am in minus 30 to their trainings and I pushed them out of the nest so they have an opportunity to grow and experience life on their own. I would never ask my kids to make sacrifices for me

decentGuy Why does an innocuous suggestion to move to a Pakistan seem like an insult? Many here including decent guy and Le Pak say they don’t like western culture just moved for money. West is an individualistic culture where all humans are equal and make their own decisions and many in East believe in group culture and it won’t be easy to blend both together

[aqua70]

My take is a tad bit different from others. I lived near LA for a few yrs for university, pretty recently and my advice is simple. If you are not particularly religious and don't really care what your kids will dwell into then I would recommend settling down there with family. Unless your child is very good at not giving into peer pressure, they will find themselves being an outcast. Keep in mind, I am not talking about orange county or the other surrounding areas, just particularly LA, Santa Monica, etc. Every niche of Pakistanis settled in the US have their own set of culture. The ones in nor cal differ from the ones in south cal and so on and so forth.
My 2 cents.

[SID_NY]

I have yet to discuss this with lawyers & CPA's, as most all of my income is foreign, i.e. outside of the U.S.



Indeed.



About 5 years ago, I was working as a consultant for an American company, I spent about 6 months living in the U.S., mostly in NYC, but I had the opportunity to visit Austin & Waco as their mid-western operations were running out of Texas. To be honest, it felt like a red state, conservative, even though Austin is kinda cool and laidback, but its still home to gun law advocates, and the likes. The day Texas as a state votes blue, I'd move. Not because I support the democrats, but because to me would be an indicator that the Texas folks are starting to mellow down.

In-regards to Florida, I'd be a Florida man then.



Alhumulillah, our budget is decent enough that it doesn't really matter.



While I agree that big corporations are moving east. However, the corporations that matter, i.e. that would seriously put a dent in California's annual budget if they left the state, like Apple, Google, etc... have invested so much that it would be difficult for them to just up end and leave.



I don't know, maybe I'm being unreasonable, but I've never been keen on visiting a red state. Also, middle America has never seemed like a safe place to be, lol.

Thats the plan. Make you and all moderate ppl move to red state and flip it blue

[a7mado]

I am absolutely not upset, just trying to understand your perspective as you asked for input, just a simple question as why not move to Pakistan if that culture, halal restaurants and joint family is that important?
iT is parents responsibility to make sacrifices, my boys are international athletes and I would be driving them at 5 am in minus 30 to their trainings and I pushed them out of the nest so they have an opportunity to grow and experience life on their own. I would never ask my kids to make sacrifices for me

decentGuy Why does an innocuous suggestion to move to a Pakistan seem like an insult? Many here including decent guy and Le Pak say they don’t like western culture just moved for money. West is an individualistic culture where all humans are equal and make their own decisions and many in East believe in group culture and it won’t be easy to blend both together

lol, OK.

[a7mado]

My take is a tad bit different from others. I lived near LA for a few yrs for university, pretty recently and my advice is simple. If you are not particularly religious and don't really care what your kids will dwell into then I would recommend settling down there with family. Unless your child is very good at not giving into peer pressure, they will find themselves being an outcast. Keep in mind, I am not talking about orange county or the other surrounding areas, just particularly LA, Santa Monica, etc. Every niche of Pakistanis settled in the US have their own set of culture. The ones in nor cal differ from the ones in south cal and so on and so forth.
My 2 cents.

Its certainly something that I've been thinking about. I wouldn't want my kids to veer into something that would make them forget their identity. Living in the Middle East, the culture is very different, even though the entire region is one big melting pot, but people from different ethnicities rarely mingle, and as a result, a Pakistani that grew up in the Middle East won't be too different to a Pakistani that grew up in the homeland. Whereas in the west its an entirely different story.

I've known colleagues that moved out of western countries to settle down in the Middle East because "its no place to raise your kids...", but only time will tell, I guess.

Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.

[a7mado]

Thats the plan. Make you and all moderate ppl move to red state and flip it blue

Its already sort of happening in Texas, with Californians moving in, a lot of "sane" Texans are really concerned.

[Bobby1]

What the hell is wrong with you?

I don’t understand why people who are so proud of their lineage get so incensed over the mention of moving back home, aren’t their amazing restaurants, halal food, culture, religious values there?

I came here because I like western culture. If I was so attached to Pak culture I would stay there,

[aqua70]

Its certainly something that I've been thinking about. I wouldn't want my kids to veer into something that would make them forget their identity. Living in the Middle East, the culture is very different, even though the entire region is one big melting pot, but people from different ethnicities rarely mingle, and as a result, a Pakistani that grew up in the Middle East won't be too different to a Pakistani that grew up in the homeland. Whereas in the west its an entirely different story.

I've known colleagues that moved out of western countries to settle down in the Middle East because "its no place to raise your kids...", but only time will tell, I guess.

Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.

You are welcome! Yea, every place has its pros and cons, have you looked into Corona del Mar area? There are many beautiful homes on or near the beach there as well and it is less touristy than Santa Monica, however, it is about an hr away from LA. Regardless, best wishes.

[SindSagar]

Thanks, Sind! But not just yet, hopefully sometime around early next year.

You live around there?

My Daughter used to Live close by, so I have driven by this area a few times! I have lived mostly in the Mid Western States! Lot less Crowded!

[a7mado]

You are welcome! Yea, every place has its pros and cons, have you looked into Corona del Mar area? There are many beautiful homes on or near the beach there as well and it is less touristy than Santa Monica, however, it is about an hr away from LA. Regardless, best wishes.

Newport beach as a whole is beautiful, grew up watching the O.C., turns out that the Cohen residence was actually in Malibu . The only issue is the commute time to DTLA. Its an hour on a good day, or so I've been told.

Dailying to DTLA would be an inconvenience, to say the least.

But yeah, maybe once this pandemic has slowed down, I'll visit California for a couple of months to see if I can widen my options.

Thanks!