Making conversations

[SID_NY]

How good are you in initiating and making convos?


I honestly suck at it, specially with the strangers and bare acquaintances. Typical introvert.


Stumbled on this video btw. She made a interesting point that the first impression is NOT when you start talking. Rather when you enter that particular place.

[humming bird]

I dont think there is one psuedo-approach. Everyone can have a different style.

[Bobby1]

You have to have an interesting life in order to have interesting conversations and interesting personalities. It is a life long process that requires a lot of commitment from family to give their kids unique skills where they can talk about their skills

[SID_NY]

You have to have an interesting life in order to have interesting conversations and interesting personalities. It is a life long process that requires a lot of commitment from family to give their kids unique skills where they can talk about their skills

The first line is absolutely not true. Making conversations doesnt mean you are talking about yourself, rather you are actually getting to know the other person. BIG difference.


One has to be a complete narcist to only talk about their life.

[Bobby1]

The first line is absolutely not true. Making conversations doesnt mean you are talking about yourself, rather you are actually getting to know the other person. BIG difference.


One has to be a complete narcist to only talk about their life.

Never seen a door knob to be an amazing conversationalist one has to participate in a conversation and it’s a back and forth or it is just a spectator and not a participator. Also very important to learn social etiquettes and proper grooming, dressing properly for venue and controlling negativity and prejudices helps, manners and respect goes a long ways

Maintaining proper facial expressions, body language, tone and speed of delivery are important.

People will listen to and talk to people who have something important and interesting to say, not aur sunain Biwi bachay theek gain, kaam kaaj theek hai, aur Pakistan kubb Jana huwa

Yupp every time I socialized with these friends that was repeated a million times

[navzzz]

Totally agree, with intelligence, I mean as a whole, not just the IQ.

There will be folks with the right looks and the neurons but are utter jackasses and can't get by.

Your mental capacity affects your language, the vocabulary, how you use phrases, idioms, intricacies of verbal expressions, how you engage and behave, and also how you reflect your body language, warmth and interests towards others. It also depends upon your background, education, knowledge, interests, hobbies and breath of experiences in different walks of life. But in the end people with a reasonable degree of intellect can use all those attributes much more efficiently than those lacking.

Intelligence to me is the ability to understand and analyze things with an open and rational mind, discuss and reach a logical conclusion. Its application in every days' life is the deciding factor.

[LP]

interesting life
interesting conversations interesting personalities.

'interesting' is subjective.

[navzzz]

It helps if you are a good-looking person with a decent personality, look posh, appear wealthy and seem educated. People tend to gravitate towards you.

[Bobby1]

'interesting' is subjective.

That is true and that is why we look for commonality, interesting people are able to pick commonalities with a varied group of people. In my previous socializing group the only band they played to was biryanni korma, religion, bad USA and Israel.
It has been established that kids who participate in activities have a more whole some life, it really is important to aquire skills and be involved in hobbies and make connections with the society.

Just to give you an example of some people I interact with, one young chap is succesful professionaly, is involved in avid cliff climbing, is an amazing photographer, has very expensive professional drone and is amazing at building and fixing. The other guy is a soccer enthusiast, trains rigorously, is an amazing cook, built a green house and grows his own herbs, bakes bread etc, also makes a skating ring in back yard and again great at parenting and building stuff, travelled all over for soccer and is funnier than hell.
Would most people not find them interesting?

[SindSagar]

So are you saying "What's UP" and "Kiddan" are not enough......

[SID_NY]

haha..yea these are the convo killers

[batameez]

i find julie khan naked truth more interesting then any robotic professional speeches

[SID_NY]

Interesting. Please do share her. Wait, is that the "Jolie" from GS?

[SID_NY]

It helps if you are a good-looking person with a decent personality, look posh, appear wealthy and seem educated. People tend to gravitate towards you.

Um..here is my opinion about what you mentioned:

Does it help? Yes sure these factors do help

Do they help in all circumstances? No, only in certain scenarios.

Are these the only traits that help? Absolutely no. These are just few of the many. Infact soft skills go a long way.

[Captain Obvious]

That is true and that is why we look for commonality, interesting people are able to pick commonalities with a varied group of people. In my previous socializing group the only band they played to was biryanni korma, religion, bad USA and Israel.
It has been established that kids who participate in activities have a more whole some life, it really is important to aquire skills and be involved in hobbies and make connections with the society.

Just to give you an example of some people I interact with, one young chap is succesful professionaly, is involved in avid cliff climbing, is an amazing photographer, has very expensive professional drone and is amazing at building and fixing. The other guy is a soccer enthusiast, trains rigorously, is an amazing cook, built a green house and grows his own herbs, bakes bread etc, also makes a skating ring in back yard and again great at parenting and building stuff, travelled all over for soccer and is funnier than hell.
Would most people not find them interesting?

Some people, yes. Especially those with similar interests but not necessarily for those who don't share their interests.


Now for the topic - I'm introverted myself but every now and then I can click with others (whom I don't know from beforehand) and have a decent conversation.

[Bobby1]

So you dont know many people who would be interested in food, health, travel, sports, fitness, photography, fixing and building things and being good looking?

[Captain Obvious]

People will find them interesting if they are interested in the same sports. Someone who is an enthusiast in one sport won't necessarily have something in common with someone who is an enthusiast in another sport. The same could be said about food, hobbies, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if two people with the respective interests you described here might not find much in common with each other. Plus, I can't remember ever hearing guys in any gathering talking about being good looking.

[Bobby1]

haha..yea these are the convo killers

Actually the presenter says that start convo with a simple hello how are you and not over think or try to be super funny and out there and this is something I will take from the presenter.

[navzzz]

Um..here is my opinion about what you mentioned:

Does it help? Yes sure these factors do help

Do they help in all circumstances? No, only in certain scenarios.

Are these the only traits that help? Absolutely no. These are just few of the many. Infact soft skills go a long way.

I think you missed the point. What I meant was people with those attributes find it easier to engage people and make conversations. Of course these are not the only quantities. Sadly human psychology does not adhere much to principles of fairness and equality. Some human are naturally gifted and get treated differently than others even without making much effort compared to people with the so called 'soft skills' you mentioned. In fact people with both attributes will be even better at socializing and make connections to help climb the society ladder.

To me personally, the most interesting attribute is Intelligence. Nothing more sexier than that.

[SID_NY]

Agreed with this post

[Bobby1]

I think you missed the point. What I meant was people with those attributes find it easier to engage people and make conversations. Of course these are not the only quantities. Sadly human psychology does not adhere much to principals of fairness and equality. Some human are naturally gifted and get treated differently than others even without making much effort compared to people with the so called 'soft skills' you mentioned. In fact people with both attributes will be even better at socializing and make connections to help climb the society ladder.

To me personally, the most interesting attribute is Intelligence. Nothing more sexier than that.

I have seen some of the most attractive, intelligent and financially well off people drown in loneliness due to lack of social tact, I know successful realtors who are really good with people make millions in any given year. Emotional intelligence is far more important than IQ. I had interacted with a Chinese specialist doctor and an Ismaili dentist who were so socially awkward and rude and could not understand the basics about normal life and left such a bad taste in my mouth that I still cringe after years of interacting with them. Interacting with people is a science and no we are not born with those skills, parents, friends, schooling all give us these skills. Harris is an extreme socialiser but to operate at a professional level I am training him. They say we like people who are like us or people who we aspire to be. Professionals change their personal style to match the person they are interacting with. They manage their posture, body language, facial expressions, tone, pitch and WPM to influence people.