What happens if...?

[Nabeel Khan]

I am 18 years old and will turn 19 on the 25th of February.

Anyway apart from that, I am going to Pakistan for the fourth time this summmer http://www.pak.org/gupshup/rotato.gif. Well I was wondering what do I do if my Father tries to get me married http://www.pak.org/gupshup/pagal.gif. I was thinking:

Go with the flow and when the Imam is performing the marriage rites, get up and say 'Sorry guys, I have changed my mind'. Then walk off and jump on the next plane back.

------------------
Don't be a Fool, be a Phool!

[badpak]

Well I don't know if you are serious or not but I wouldn't go with the flow. I think you should have a say in it because it is your life. And don't forget you will ruin it for two people if you don't speak up. Yours and your future wife.

[Pakiice]

U are only 19 yrs old old.. why would u'r parents want u to get married http://www.pak.org/gupshup/confused.gif

[Nabeel Khan]

This is how it runs in Pakistan. A lot of my friends are either in the process or are already married!

------------------
Don't be a Fool, be a Phool!

[Roman]

I think you should talk to your parents and discuss how you feel about it. You gotta know what you want (if you already don't know it) and then just follow it.

[Hana Memon]

I've been to Pakistan many times and trust me, people get married way early there, like at around 14....and are mothers/fathers at 15!


------------------
Mera Dil Hai 100% Pure Pakistani!xxxxxxx

[Mr Fraudia]

Dont they marry kids at birth in villages, or has that practice finally been stopped?

[The Emissary]

Blimey! 14/15?

[baleya]

Not to support the practice of getting married at 14/15, but there is a hadith that says you should get married young as that will be better for you.

I think I sort of agree with that because after that age, you don't know what cann happen.................I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about.

Me.

[devuchka]

> I was wondering what do I do if my Father tries to get me married

wishful thinking can be a ***** !! Seems like you'd really like to .. why don't you just ask your daddy nicely ... that you've got the pubes and you'd like to get married ??

Dev.
ps: for i merely hold the mirror ...

[Nabeel Khan]

Ok time the truth be told

The real reason I started this forum has nothing to do with what I might or might not do this summer. Over the past few years and especially recently I have seen British Pakistanis trick their daughters into going to Pakistan in order o get them married, against their will. This only applies to daughters, I have never seen it with sons.

This is really upsetting me. Yes one should get married as early as possible, but at the same time it can only be at the wish of both the bride and groom. After all they are the ones that have to live with each other.

The majority of couples who got married against their will a few years ago are now getting divorces. It is upsetting to see that the community where divorces were least likely is now becoming very familiar to divorce.

This is giving our community a bad name, not to mention ruining the lives of numerous couples. I have a few questions on this matter.

How can the parents claim to love their children then do somethig against their wishes?
Do these forceful parents actually enjoy getting a bad name for themselves?
Do these parents realise that majority of the time the grooms in this situation do not have a job or a home and the couple would probably end up living with the brides parents?
A question for the Fathers, is your daughter not meant to be your chasity?

One thing I would also like to say is that a girl I know was forcefully married at the age of 17 to a guy much older than her whom she did not know. The couple were divorced two weeks after the marriage. She now tells me that if it had not been for Islaam she would have divorced her parents! She hates them and she doesn't ever want to get married again. Remember how this happened - FORCEFULLY.

------------------
Don't be a Fool, be a Phool!

[baleya]

Nabeel,
The bride and the groom have to agree.
From what I understand, the female has the right to decide who she wants to marry and the parents can not go against her will.

Those who do are living in ignorance or are blindly/emotially binded to the ignorance hindu culture as that is not what Islam teaches.

Me.

[This message has been edited by baleya (edited February 02, 2000).]

[D500s]

It is a DAMN Shame
im sorry to say this but
Anyone who who really say that they get married or do any such thing just cause their parents say using islam as an excuse should be ashamed. Im pretty sure that if you actually try to find out what or how much they know about islam youll soon find out that they dont know anything much less care about what islam says. http://www.pak.org/gupshup/nook.gif

[Jaawan]

shadhi wala "laadoo" door se meetha lagta hia...jo khaayee wo be pachtayee aur jo na khayee wo be... http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif wesey if you look at it this matter and see how other teenagers like this khan saab at same age will re act in this kinda situation where parents talk about getting them married...it turns out that most desi guys at this time of thire life...like showing off...of they like it when thire parents say "shahdii karoo beta" cuz they are worried he might do something stupid soo....anyways your not getting it what the hell...


Jaawan

------------------
Till next time***Keep_It_Simple_Stupid***©

[Nabeel Khan]

Jawaan,

It is not like that all, from where I come. Most teenagers get married because they want to. But the point I was trying to make was about teenagers that get married against their will.

How do we make their parents see that they are ruining their kids lives and that only the person in question will know when the time is right.

Also a message to all you guys,
I am not talking about myself here, I was talking from a hypothetical point of view. You need to understand that the issue upsets me and I wanted others to be aware of it. Read my last post.

------------------
Don't be a Fool, be a Phool!