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    My dead cousin

    For past few months, quite frequently (averagely about 3 times a week), I have been seeing my dead cousin in my dreams.

    My cousin HamayuN was 6 months younger than me. We grew up together and were really close friends. Actually until the 9th grade, he was my best friend. During the time I was in and out of college we didn't get to keep in touch that often. However, I always had this feeling of closeness towards him. Whenever we met after a long period of time, we met and chatted like we had been hanging out all along.

    In 1992, I came to US and completely lost touch with him. However, whenever I would speak to my sister back home, I will ask about him and according to some of the latest news I heard back in 98-99, he went to Kashmir to fight 'The Jahaad'.

    Around mid 1999, I heard the news that he died while fighting. People remeber him as a martyr, I call him simply dead.

    And now I've been meeting him frequently in my dreams and I have no idea why? I mean I do have other, more dear relatives dead that I can dream about and still move on with my daylight life so it just can't be the reason that since I was close to him, I miss him etc.

    Weird thing is that he appears normal in the dreams. He does not look sad, he does not look happy, he just looks the way we used to be. Sometimes we are watching a movie together, sometimes just playing soccer like we used to... we are doing all these absolutely normal things in my dreams that I can't pinpoint or infer exact reason or clue why am seeing him so much in my dreams?

    I don't know if dreams mean anything or are just a creation of our subconscious, and I sure don't care which one is the case (I used to be more sure on that one few years back but by now I have met and chatted with so many dead relatives of mine, that I don't even care about it anymore). I do, however, care about why in the name of the God am I seeing him so much (relatively speaking)?

    #2
    Call him a "shaheed" instead of 'dead' and see if that makes a difference.

    Comment


      #3
      Akif,

      That's a good point. According to my personal beliefs, I don't think it was martyrdom. I don't believe in the way Jamiat Islami and other organizations recruit naive young people to fight for Kashmir in the name of God and religion. And secondly, I am not sure if Kashmir fight is solely based on religion anymore. I think religion has sort of blurred out of the picture in past 50 years even if people still attribute the fight to it primarily. But thatís a whole different discussion.

      The counter argument to that is that does it matter what I believe in? Shouldn't it matter more that he believed in it and fought for it? If he fought for his beliefs then that does make him a martyr.

      I think I am little pissed off on the whole thing how he got into it and went out to fight and we never got a chance to talk about it. Also, if I will call him a 'shaheed' then I will be promoting exactly what those so called organizations are trying to do for their own ulterior motives. And no sir, I don't believe in that.

      Comment


        #4
        Roman, perhaps u r right....its not a "jihad"...in the context of religion,,,,but it is a struggle against oppression.... against inhumanity, which is a jihad in my opinion.

        Comment


          #5
          Roman,

          you may not believe in the cause like your cousin did, but seeing how he gave his life for it he obviously believed in it very much. I would suggest that even if you don't understand his reasons you should anyway try to respect his convictions. When somebody sacrifices their own life on behalf of others it is one hell of a thing to give.

          Comment


            #6
            The struggle has been religious from the very beginning. After all, in 1947, Kashmir was made a part of Pakistan based on the fact that it was a muslim majority state...and since Indias forcible occupation of kashmir in 1948, muslims there have been struggling and fighting to drive the indians out of there. The people in power do deal with it as a political issue..but believe me..the young ones who go there in the prime of their lives, knowing fully well that they might not return, do go there with jihaad in mind and martyrdom in their wishes. If we cant be a part of it, we should at least appreciate the people who have given up everything to be a part of it.

            Comment


              #7
              Dear Roman, what better way to honor your cousin than to look for solutions to the problem, so no young one ever has to give up his life, and those left behind donít only see their childhood buddies in dreams but in real.

              May you be at peace, and may peace prevail.

              Comment


                #8

                So what'z the problem Roman if you are having him in ur dreams. Ain't it nice Kay Aap Un Say KhwabooN MeiN Mil Laitay Hoo!

                About martyrdom issue!

                I think the only matter is that the guy like many others, laid down his life in order to save the up coming generations of Muslim, to save the diginity and respect of Muslim women, and to get the freedom of practicing religion within the region, by fighting against those who are a pain in the neck for Muslims in the Kashmir.
                So the Fighting of young/old guyz, whatever group they belong to, against those who are trying to demolish the Muslim nation is *Jihad* in a sense and laying down the life for the defense of other Muslims is to get the position of a martyr.

                Now Call Him Martyr Or Dead, He Has Gotten What He Wanted To Get In The Eyes Of Allah!

                Pray For Him & His Family!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Ok, I might sound a little fetish on this but this is what I believe in.

                  If religion is the only reason this fight is based on then there are millions of other Muslims living in India, why canít Muslims of Kashmir live as Indian citizens as well? And if as being Indian citizens they are not given their religious freedom then the fight should be to gain their rights to practice whatever religion they believe in, not to get a separate country. Iím in favor of this solution if Kashmir fight is only based on religion because it can save lives, it can help both countries, and it can definitely help the coming generations.

                  But thatís not the case with Kashmir. Presently, Kashmir fight is against anything but soley the religion itself and I donít want to comment on that as I donít know where I stand on the issue. Two sides, counter arguments, a whole big grey area. Itís not going to become simple white or black one day out of a miracle. May be the objective should only be to consider whatís good for the future generations of each side. And I donít know what that objective solution is but I do know that those are not the lines all sides think along.

                  There are deeds in this world and life that end in good returns whether or not we are aware of their outcomes and yet the end result makes them worshipful but fighting for ideology is not the same. Ideology is immortal and perpetual but yet very fragile because it flourishes and reaps on generations to come. You have to know and set straight the ideology you are fighting for first and then fight for it because if you donít, you are passing on the blurred out reality to the coming generations.

                  My cousin fought for his beliefs that require courage and dignity. It does make him a hero but I cannot call him a martyr, knowing that what he believed in was a blurred out ideology. I cannot knowingly (i.e. according to my beliefs) pass on the same blurred out ideology to others or to the next generation. If his fight was against injustice and oppression then there are many other places on earth that have same circumstances as Kashmir. Would he have fought solely for injustice and oppression anywhere else? Thatís a tough question and I canít answer that.

                  I have my own convictions to live by even if my subconscious revolts to them. And if he visits me spiritually in fact then I hope either he convinces me or I do him.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I THINK THIS IS VERY GOOD THING U HAVE BROUGHT UP......FIRST OF ALL ANY ONE WHO FIGHT FOR A PLACE WHERE MUSLIM LIVES IS CALLED JIHAD AND IF DOING IT HE DIES IS SHAHEED AND SHAHEED NEAR ALLAH DOES NOT DIES BUT IS TAKEN U SEE THAY HAVE A VERY HIGH GRADING IN HERE AFTER.....

                    I PERSONALLY BELIVE HE IS CONVINCING U TO DO THE SAME.... BECAUSE IF WE THINK ABOUT IT WE ALL ARE GOING TO DIE ONE DAY AND THE TIME IS FIXED SO WHY NOT DIE IN SUCH A WAY WHERE U WILL BE CALLED A LIVE AND VERY GREAT RUTBA TOO.

                    THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Muslims living in Kashmir compared to muslims living in rest of india are a different story. First of all, to begin with, muslims in india are a minority. Muslims in Kashmir are a majority. Secondly, Kashmir is a part of Pakistan. Thirdly, a UN resolution passed on it is supposed to be implemented, unless UN was supposed to work only against muslim countries, (Iraq, Palestine, Afghanistan). Muslims in Kashmir are fighting for their freedom. Muslims in india already have their freedom.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Roman, believe it or not, I can so relate to you. The reason why you are seeing ur cousin is perhaps, cuz you are "not" accepting the way he chose to take the route to enternal life. You still in deep conscious imagine him alive, and there is an unresolved issue btw the two of you.. i.e. being upset over the fact that you never got to talk to him after you left. I've been thru a similar situation. Its hard indeed, to see a close one slip in the icy hands of death, so silently that one can't even do anything about it (if u know what I'm saying), and by the time you can do anything about it, its too late.

                        Its not unusual for seeing ur cousin in dreams Roman. You were close to him, and thats the answer to all your questions. At times, things we are unable to do in real life, our dreams help us compensate for that vaccum we experience within our selves. And Yes, for me, it does helps me and sooth down my anxiety that I may be experiencing. Just enjoy them Roman. No fears

                        Adios!
                        DB

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Religion is a way of group forming and organizing people. Young people are idealists therefore easily influenced. In most instances Religious leaders use them to further their cause.

                          Your story reminds me of an episode in a book 'beyond belief' by Naipaul (Naipaul is from Trinidad lives in Britain and is married to a Pakistani). In 1971 when the Indian tanks were rolling near Lahor a Mullah excited his followers so much that after the sermon they ran towards the border with hockey sticks to face the tanks while the Mullah quietly went home to his family.

                          It will be interesting to see that how many of these religious leaders, send their own sons and grandsons to die in the religious war.

                          Kashmiris have all the religious freedom they want and they can be good muslim while living in India, if Pakistan leaves them alone.

                          I feel sad that your cousin had to die.
                          God deos not care about the religion of his creation he loves everybody.

                          [This message has been edited by Rani (edited January 09, 2000).]

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Roman--I do not know very much about your religious position or whether you are religious or irreligious or whether you believe in formal religion at all. Nevertheless I will just write this little piece of advice out of sincerity so that you may find benefit from it.

                            In Islam dreams are considered very important as we believe in other worlds apart from this physical world; in islam dreams are studied as a serious subject and categorised into various categories..dream interpretation is one of the oldest sciences of islam...basically dreams have meanings and the Blessed Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam has said that the true dream of the believer is 1/40th of Prophethood. i.e. Allah often tells people things in dreams but these often have to be interpreted...so you should go to an expert dream interpreter and tell him the story of your cousin (may Allah give him the firdaus he deserves and accept his martydom)--and he will be able to at least give you some ideas as to the meanings of this dream. A learned religious aalim or , ideally, a Sufi shaykh, will be the best person to see. I do not know where in the US you are staying but I am sure you will find someone in your local area to help you. Also you can buy books of Islamic dream interpretation--the most famous is the one by the great Sahaabi Hazrat Ibn Seereen and it is available in english as the Book of Dreams. Look in there too--but it is best to ask an expert.

                            I hope this helps.
                            http://islamicbookstore.com/cgi-bin/showbook.pl?title=Ibn+Seerin's+Dictionary+of+Dream s+(According+to+Islamic+Inner+Traditions)&price=24 .50&author=Shaykh+Muhammad+M.+Al-Akili&pages =511&binding=PB&size=6%26quot;+x+9%26quot;&image=/images/book_covers/dictionary_of_dreams.jpg&description=Dreams+interp retation+is+one+of+the+earliest+knowledge+that+was +revealed+t o+humankind.+This+valuable+book+is+a+useful+manual +of+types+of+dreams+and+their+meanings.+Even+thoug h+the+book+looks+at+dreams+and+their+significance+ from+an+Islamic+point+of+view, +the+truth+on+which+it+is+based,+and+which+it+unco vers+are+universal+and+primordial+verities.+This+b ook+is+therefore+intended+for+all+those+who+take+d reams+seriously+as+an+importan t+aspect+of+their+life,+faith+and+psychological+ma keup,+and+it+will+prove+useful+to+students+of+cult ure+and+spirituality,+but+above+all+to+seekers+aft er+the+truth.+First+of+its+kin d,+Ibn+Seerin's+Dictionary+of+Dreams+is+an+indispe nsable+source+of+knowledge.+It+provides+guidelines +for+the+dream+interpreter+as+well+as+to+the+perso n+who+is+relating+his+dreams.+ This+unique+dictionary+also+treats+dreams+interpre tations+by+contraposition,+interpretation+by+corre lation+and+approximation.+It+includes+explanations +of+rare+dreams+that+affected+ human+history.+These+includes+the+dreams+of+God's+ prophet+Adam,+Noah,+Abraham,+IsmaíIL,+Daniel,+Jose ph,+Jacob,+and+Muhammad,+upon+all+of+them+be+peace +and+blessings.+It+also+provid es+interpretations+for+rare+and+unique+dreams+give n+by+spiritual+masters+of+this+unique+art.+How+to+ interpret+your+dreams.+Who+sees+the+dream,+the+sou l+or+the+self?+What+does+it+me ans+to+see+oneself+walking+on+water?+What+is+the+m eaning+of+true+or+false+dreams?+Over+4300+entries+ with+an+extensive+index,+and+a+User's+Guide.+Here+ is+a+valuable+book+the+reader+ will+cherish+for+years+to+come.+It+is+a+culture+an d+a+spiritual+gift+for+professionals,+psychologist s,+dream+interpreters,+scholars,+students,+as+well +as+people+from+all+walks+of+l ife.



                            [This message has been edited by Asif (edited January 10, 2000).]

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                              #15
                              Asif,
                              Thanks for the consideration.

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