Dilemma

[The Emissary]

I have this problem. Girl problem. She loves me to bits, but she is very very religious and I am not. I have tried to make her re-consider her love for me, but she ends up becoming upset.

I dont have the heart to hurt her more, but shes driving me crazy.

What should I do??

[pathwari]

Go talk to a Molwi.

[baleya]

Do istikhara , that usually helps in situations like these

[The Emissary]

Oh Well said Pathwari - Cheers!!
Cheers Baleya.

Shes still drives me nuts! But I dont know how to make her let go of me.

[mundyaa]

give her my number. she will forget u. trust me.

[The Emissary]

He he he yeh right! Believe it or not, she is obsessed with me. She doesnt want to even think about anyone else let alone talk to them. (In her own words she has told me that, but I'd rather not say how she said it).
She goes through enough trouble to fight for me as it is.

[baleya]

Emissary,
maybe you should not have posted this at all, eh?
It sounds very personal...

Mostansar

[The Emissary]

Thats true, but at the time I was posting the original message, I was been driven crazy. I just felt better writing about it

[Nusaiybah]

The best thing to do is be honest, and not lead her on. You need to tell her you're not interested, even if that hurts her, because it will hurt her more to hear it later after she invests more time and effort into the relationship. Hope it goes well.

By the way, just to make you feel better, no girl would go insane or die because a guy rejected her. No man is worth that kind of agony. Perhaps she may get a little sad, but trust me, she'll get over you in due time.

[Jaawan]

Forget the religious part man...do you like her or love her? If you do than..soon you ll be a changed mann...besides if she was very very very religious she wouldnt be falling in love, you know what i mean? yea i hope soo...

Jaawan

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Till next time***K_I_S_S***©

[The Emissary]

Nusaiybah Thanks for your commments. I have already tried many times to inform her of the difficulties etc, and I have told her she will get over it. But whenever I tell her that she gets stressed out at me for saying it.

Jaawan To answer your first question.

And for the second question, love is present, but we have not made any acts or gestures, if you know what I mean So far its just at a communication level, and her idea is to get me into a lifetime commitment before we actually be together as such.

Thank you both for your comments.

[Jaawan]

No problem "new one" anytime!!!

Now turning to comments that our friend NNusaiybah wrote miss NO offence but please if you had one too many experiences with bad man or Men it does not mean that all men are bad...if you happen to find some bad apples on the floor...it does not mean that there are NO good apples on the tree...all you gota do is look up and climb the tree you dont have to look for bad apples on the floor. So pleas dont generalize things about men or women. SOme of us are bad and some of us good...and you happen to be stuck with the bad ones...NOT our fault.
Hope you didnt mind!!!


Jaawan

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Till next time***K_I_S_S***©

[Nusaiybah]

Hmm... well I don't want to get into anything personal, so I won't. I will say that I don't find that any of my comments were generalizations. I haven't had any bad experiences with men, but I do know that dealing with situations early in the game is the best route to take care of them before letting things get worse.

Our friend, the Emissary wrote:

I dont have the heart to hurt her more, but shes driving me crazy.

To me this means he wants to end the relationship, whether he loves her or not. There's only one way to do that, and that is to do it. He's not ready to make a life long commitment like she requires, so she shouldn't be left thinking he might, she needs to know where he stands. Sometimes it takes a little something extra to get the message across.



[This message has been edited by Nusaiybah (edited December 29, 1999).]

[ZZ]

Firstly, i fail to understand the problem. she is religious. now what is problem. does she force u to pray five times or go to mosque or do things that u perhaps do not do otherwise.

if she doesn't and let you have ur freedom, i see no problem in her being religious. it could be a problem in bringing up kids, particularly daughters, if u ever get married to her.

[The Emissary]

{eek!!}