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A Modest Solution

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    A Modest Solution

    I was (yet again) pondering the various problems of this world. One I took particular notice of (and has been a hook in my mind for a long time), is the problem of poverty, especially in third-world countries (PC, my ass, I'll call it what it is, not some fancy "developing country", you and I both know they have no future, except perhaps amalgamation into my empire). This problem struck me as one that has an easy solution, but a tricky solution. I did the only thing I could, I went to sleep. Sure enough, I had a solution the next morning.

    I propose that we use paupers and poor people of all kinds, as advertising space. While I'm sure the idea will shock and appall some people, simply due to it's simplicity, and cause some readers to hit themselves repeatedly with an open palm on the forehead while yelling, "Why didn't I think of that!?", I'm sure I can win my critics over. I propose the use of homeless people and beggars as cheap, affordable advertisement in the startup niche sector of the economy. Consider this scenerio:

    Company A is just starting up. Most people don't know about the existance of Company A, nor do most people know what products or services they offer. Company A wants to rectify that situation in hopes of increasing their revenue, while spending as little money as possible. Let's say that they can not afford billboards or tv commercial spots. What do they do? They find some beggars, and negotiate a contract that is beneficial to all parties. The company may just have to offer a warm place to sleep and two meals a day to keep their beggars happy. Everyone wins.

    This also has to potential of creating more jobs related to the Beg-ad sector. An advertising agency could specialize in beggars and homeless in certain hot-spots, or keep a warehouse of beggars to roam the city advertising the company, product and/or service.


    The following is a presentation paid for by Beg-Ad Advertising agency:

    You made a new company in hopes of becoming rich? But, it's not working, is it? No one knows what you're selling, do they? Advertising costs too much? Well, we have the solution for you!

    Beg-Ad Advertising Agency has been specializing in advertising on beggars and homeless people for years! Our base package offers a bag lady and our premium package offers a little kid, for less than you ever thought!
    Last edited by God : April 21st, 1987 at 09:23 PM.

    omg amazing solution, I wonder what you eat, u are a genious
    Depending on the perspective, everything is beautiful!!


      Genius? Damnit, just like a man! I so had that idea first!
      Fine eshteel it from me.

      Bah, to make up for it as your poster girl, I hope it'll be my face displayed over all these "spaces" .

      And I want 5 bad ladies and 3.7 kids just for being so damn great, I hope this can be disreetly aranged? :-|
      rubber band rubber band rubber band rubber band rubber band


        hicci, I'm sorry, but you can't have the ladies, or the kids, unless you get them through a lengthy legal battle. Yes, Beg-Ad Advertising Agency owns them. However, I'm willing to make you my poster-granny. All of our companies will have that in their names, including big names like:

        Granny Auto-Mechnics,
        Granny Hitmen,
        Granny Mafia,
        Granny Under-world organization,
        and the classic, Granny Sugar.
        Last edited by God : April 21st, 1987 at 09:23 PM.


          yes, yes.. feed the capitalist machine my lovelies..

          the money is our frienddd


            A Modest work RT.
            "Today in heaven they opened up a new chest dedicated to charity. It's name ?"


              ^ Yep, MQ. I was thinking of this idea and it reminded me of A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift.
              Last edited by God : April 21st, 1987 at 09:23 PM.


                hmmm... reminds me of some irish problem and its solution.
                A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?


                  Someone has already thought of it RT. I read an article in the local paper a few months ago and this pizza place paid this guy a few bucks and free pizza/soda for holding a sign advertising the pizza place. Some people liked the idea, and others didnt.
                  "O man! What has seduced thee from thy Lord Most Beneficent?" - Quran 82:6

                  Sponsor and choose an orphan at alyateem dot com


                    So you saying RT is a blahdy copy cat and has no original ideas of his own.. Oh well.. that just about sums up the truth. :-p


                      Originally posted by ReLoAdeD:
                      hmmm... reminds me of some irish problem and its solution.
                      I tap my earlier post.

                      Munni, yea? Interesting. There goes my satirical-parody, et all.
                      Last edited by God : April 21st, 1987 at 09:23 PM.