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Junkyard Journal, Vol 2. December 1999

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    Junkyard Journal, Vol 2. December 1999

    There is plenteousness to report about the month of November. Although the participation has increased, but it has been quite “friendly” and cordial. This is not what we like. We want to keep a good mix of friendly hostility and gracious atmosphere. Please let your emotions do the talking. Be honest and let the chips fall where they may. Some members consistently do TC (lifting of balls) of some other members. These members will remain nameless, but the administration is keeping an eye on them (or keeping an eye on the ball).

    There have been good discussions in General and Meeting New People. The return of our beloved Metal member was welcomed (Hammer Time). Although he is not yet back in his full swing, we hope that the old metal is still crisp as when he had left us, and he is not rusty. One Paindoo Member Questioned God about “Why he inflicts Pain on people?”. Our advice to that member is to take an Aspirin or Ibuprofen. I don’t know what this member expects from God. Is he expecting that God will come down and give him a backrub? Paindoo member also admitted to not eating Pork – all I have to say is that “he is a Babe!”. Among other hot contributions was how one member believed that Pakistanis are better looking than Indians. He got away with very minor damage. Let’s try to milk our fellow Guppoos to the max, as opportunities like this come along only once in a blue moon. One noteworthy event has been a return from vacation in Pakistan of our Imperial member. She has yet to report about how the trip was, what she liked, what she didn’t. Frankly, many members are more interested about her adventures in Pakistan and less in her beauty tips (I even tried moisturizer). OK, it does make a difference, but SaryooN Oil is just as good.

    Enough Pangay Bazi has been seen in Politics, which is a good thing. As usual the focus has been what is wrong with both India and Pakistan and not so much about the Political landscape of both Nations. If this continues to happen, we might as well change the name of the forum to “Pako-tics” and “Indo-Licks”. Let me know your thoughts, so we can make our case to the upper management (Casa Nostra). One interesting discussion was “What PTV won’t tell you”. My question is, who in his/her right mind still watches PTV?

    Another debate that requires a mention was in Religion Section between a Member of the Left and a Member of the ‘As far Left as you can go’ about the history of Native Americans. This debate was very lively yet cruel where enough heat was generated to grill a Pig. The bottom line is our infatuation with the term “Indian”. Whether they lived in the Southern Hemisphere or the Northern ones. If someone is Indian (Indian, or Red Indian) we will get to you. No hiding from Pakistanis if you are Indians.

    Some other events to highlight are a couple of name changes. One member, in particular, has changed his name from “Straight” to “Dog of Someone”. I think it is only appropriate, given his views on certain issues. He is still a puppy, so show as much love and petting as you can. Some other members also played with the idea of a name change. I believe we need a vote on this issue. One Member One Name. It is hard as it is to remember who is who.

    Shair-O-Shairi has been quiet for the most part. A few members wrote poetry in Urdu alphabet. Could those members share what kind of keyboards they are using? I looked in many computer catalogs and stores and couldn’t find any such keyboard. These members must have invented one for themselves. Could they please share the technology? There has been quiet on the Marriage Section front also. Is that an indication that the newer generation is not interested in the opinions of the Shadi-Shuda tabka? Trust me, your day will come. Use this opportunity to broaden your horizons.

    To make life spicier, we need a section dedicated to Sub-Continental cuisine. Please!!!!! How come we have a section (tech-talk) specifically for Nerds and Geeks, what about those of us who have an appreciation for some hot finger licking romantic yet violent dishes.

    Sports section generated some cool topics, mainly about India and Pakistan and what soap the cricket players in both country use to take baths. The advice to these members is to leave the cricketers alone. Perhaps our Royal Member could offer some advice to the cricketers about using moisturizer instead of THuk (on their balls) to make them shiny and spin fast while balling on an Indian Pitch.

    Overall we did well in the month of November, and hope to do even better in the months to come. Marry Christmas and Happy Ramadan and Happy Eid to all our members. The next Junkyard Journal will come out on 3rd of January, which will highlight the events of December. Along with the monthly occurrences, the next issue will also provide an in-depth analysis of the events of the past century. Members! You still have time to bring all your juicy topics that might still win the award ‘best topic of the 20th century’, unless of course you want that to be the ‘best topic of the 21st century. Keep those pens flowing, or in your case, keep your keyboards churning out the thoughts that you cannot share with your parents. Our goal is to be supportive of each other and let the previous generation know that we are not embarrassed to talk about sex, prostitution, software, alcohol, high heels, hardware, sex, food for intimacy, moisturizers, and other topics that were once considered too taboo.

    hahahaha ........good..very good..Excellent!

    One thingk you forgot: The sharif mutiyaar of poetry section has changed her name to not-so-Sharif-Mutiyaar and has not been seen by other sharif participents in a long time. If she does not show up soon, we might have to publish a ghummshidgi ishtiyaar for the sharif mutiyaar(not for not-so-sharif mutiyaar).



      Hey NYA,

      you're are good at this stuff. I still remember the tennis match post you did. Between us we will have to spice up this place so that the next issue of Junkyard Journal makes an even more compelling read.


        This issue of the journal was definitely better than the previous one. You are actually getting better at it.

        I must say though, the name of the journal is not as catchy as the content is. Thanks for the updates, seems like I did not miss much.




            Roman Yar,

            Suggest some names. I agree it is not very catchy. What’s up with you these days? Don’t see much of you.


              My compliments NYA bhai.
              Don't get too good at this otherwise we will demand a weekly report.



                If I had been half as much creative, I would have suggested something... see, I am one of those who know only to critique

                on your question, all I can say is

                kuch to mairay halaat bhi daitay nahi mohalat
                ore kuch meiN bhi bhi apnay aap say aksar nahi milta