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The Best Resignation Letter Ever!

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    The Best Resignation Letter Ever!

    Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!


    Dear Mr. Baker,

    As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

    Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

    Cecelia
    Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

    #2
    Those to whom Evil is done..... Do Evil in Return.

    Comment


      #3
      funny but fake
      Adopt me Angelina.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by lussi:
        funny but fake
        yah might be.... but being fake doesnt make any difference to the fun in it .... isnt it
        Those to whom Evil is done..... Do Evil in Return.

        Comment


          #5
          LOL

          this is awesome!
          I never thought that you'd be the one to hold my heart
          but you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start....

          Comment


            #6
            Hats Off for the gal.....Cecelia :biggthumb
            Those to whom Evil is done..... Do Evil in Return.

            Comment


              #7
              so u guys dunno BOFH eh? sounds SO amazingly him :-) (except, cecelia..rrraiiieeeeteeee.. had to be neutralized) :-)))

              great letter man *saves it for future reference*
              thanks for pulling head outta your ass long enough to read my post, then highlighting & reading this. Signed:
              -faizy

              Comment


                #8
                www.facebook.com/rjdania

                Comment


                  #9
                  Reminds me of a note one of my friend who wrote to his boss asking him not to intervene in the work he is assigned to dispose off. That too was a classic and has a strong resemblance to the one above. Interesting thing about that was it was written by a civil servant to his senior colleague in Public Sector. Imagine the ripples it had made in the circles of civil service officers. Capricorn would bear this out who knows the story as well.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    legacy, mind posting it here? atleast parts u remembered?

                    jazak-allah..
                    thanks for pulling head outta your ass long enough to read my post, then highlighting & reading this. Signed:
                    -faizy

                    Comment


                      #11
                      :biggthumb
                      Kuch yeh ke muddaton se, Hum bhi nahi thay roey
                      Kuch zeher mein bujha tha, ahbaab ka dilaasa :crying:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        HAHA!

                        Now that's what I call a resignation letter...
                        Focus not on who you are but what you do...
                        ])>:::}-:Salams:-{:::<([

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by faizy:
                          legacy, mind posting it here? atleast parts u remembered?

                          jazak-allah..
                          faizy, I wud have loved to but I dont remember even parts of it and if I wud post its message I wud be doing injustice to the one who wrote. I am sorry

                          Comment


                            #14
                            mujhe bhi letter bohate fit laga tha waisay :biggthumb

                            bohate himmat wali khatoon hain waisay

                            aap sab ki hosla afzaai ka shukriya
                            Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Legacy:
                              Capricorn would bear this out who knows the story as well.
                              Its not un-classified as yet
                              Khanu, good one :biggthumb
                              Mere junoon ka na lo imtihaan,
                              Jaanan

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