What if you????

[kashmirigirl]

last week i was talking to my cousin about the graduate schools I'm thinking of applying to. When i mentioned relocation and a 2 year program he asked me what if i get married...


my response what if I don't?

Forget the issue about marriage please but why is it that we women are expected to put everything on hold based on what ifs????

...If my life was spent on what ifs...i would be no where...and that isnt what I want.

Ok i've vented... what do you think?

[Jaawan]

All boils down to ONE word its same for women and men! its LIFE. if you look closly you will see an "IF" in the middle can you see itt..... L_IF_E.... there you go its all part of lifeeeeeee no big deal get use to it hope u get what you want....life is not fair cuz its lifeeeeeee...If you do those "if"s in right time order you will be everything in life...since you have too many "IF"s all of us mess up somewhere and we blame it on "what if" if you do it in right timly order and do it correctly its all in your hands...

Jaawan

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Till next time***K_I_S_S***



[This message has been edited by Jaawan (edited November 23, 1999).]

[nadia21]

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gif




[This message has been edited by nadia21 (edited November 24, 1999).]

[mundyaa]

real question is what if u die before u get married or get the degree.

i would rather die married without a degree... than be dead with a degree but not married.

[This message has been edited by mundyaa (edited November 24, 1999).]

[Samir]

kashmirigirl,

I don't think only women are expected to put everything on hold based on what ifs... I can see you are determined to go for further study and you have confidence in yourself that you can do it ... don't worry about what others think. Sometimes others can not see what you are seeing ... and when you get there they will be in front row to admire you (BTDT ). It is all about setting your priorities and achieving them like a warrior. Sometimes not others but we stop ourselves... that we can't do this or that ... that time I don't stop myself but I put my faith in God and work harder to achieve what I am looking for. And I hope you are not getting that older that your hair starts falling, your teeth are coming out one by one or you have started loosing your vision and hearing ...if not then I think we are ok here . Always there will be more than one choice you just have to choose one and if you achieve what you wanted you are great and if you don't ... you are greater because you have learn something new about yourself and about this world.

Good Luck,



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Don't let your subjects control you ... you are the one who must control your subjects.

[Shpooki]

I know a lady who actually converted to Islam, moved to the west coast and still goes to college, just because she got married.

Its about what 'you' think Kash, not what others think about you.

[NYAhmadiX]

Thumbs up for Shpooki. I would just like to add one more thought. My sisters all went on to earn professional degrees despite pressure from my own family and my extended family. My mother, only literate upto 5th grade pushed them all to the limits. Ironically, it were my male relatives who opposed my sisters and female cousins to go for higher education. KG, you should tell them who tell you “see you after the post doc”…

One more thing.. If you do find someone that you like, and want to spend the rest of your life with, while you are still in college, nothing wrong with that too.

Good luck!

[BoSS]

what if you get married?
SO??.. go on! I'm listening....hain! is that it....hmmm am I missing something

ciao,
BoSS

[Akif]

Lets not make it a personal issue. This is the way it is for everyone, just in different ways. In Pakistan, lots of times guys are forced to quit studies and start working cause they have to help get their sisters married. Lots of times guys are forced to move to another city, or even another country, just to get a better job, so he can provide for his family. So girls have to put their studies on hold because of marriage, or maybe even quit them. I dont see the big deal. The bottom line is, its always for the best. Besides, noone is forcing you. Its not a stereotype. Its what the situation demands. If you dont wish to follow the demands of the situation, dont do it.

[kashmirigirl]

Boss BOSS!!!

now..don't go get a new outfit to wear to my wedding...it was just a general question...since I'm an unmarried female my life goal after college is to find a mate and as quickly as possible..not have a career..etc..


mundayaa...
Dear...marriage doesn't mean you are automatically happy..i have enough friends telling me that. When I die I would like to know that I followed God's will, was honest and did what I wanted to do and can stand up for whatever I did...proudly.

Thanks guys...it wasn't supposed to be a pesonal question...

what my issue is how much of our life is put on hold based on that big what if?? and What we should be doing....

and asif sometimes that isn't for the best...


Nyahemedi

""
One more thing.. If you do find someone that you like, and want to spend the rest of your life with, while you are still in college, nothing wrong with that too. ""

Thank you!
exactly my point..i'm not saying not get married..just don't put your life/career educational choices on hold based on a What if?....




[This message has been edited by kashmirigirl (edited November 25, 1999).]