Just a thought on the topic.
It is commonly thought that increasing number of divorces is a deteriorating factor to the family values and overall moral direction of the society.
It is true that divorce overall has bad impact on family values, and especially the effects on children can be devastating. I am not denying this fact or argument. However, I would like to point out a different aspect of the problem which many not be all that negative.
There are many cases where husband and wife don't have that core relationship, affection, or care for eachother which is necessary for a happy married life. In most of such cases, women are exploited, thrashed, and go through hell in everyday life. But they remain married because society dictates them or due to family pressure or threats etc.
An increased rate in divorce may be indicative that those women are standing up for themselves. I think standing up for themselves will also eventually earn women the respect and position in society which they deserve since (generally speaking) divorcee women are looked down upon in Pakistani society (My apologies if this comment has caused any distress -- but I would rather like to see my generation not to look at it as a proscriptive topic or reality, unlike the generations before).
Also, even if the husband is not a cruel *******, any marriage that is based solely on living-together-without-knowing-why is better off be nullified.
I personally believe in personal freedom and quest of happiness based on the definition of happiness of the particular individual involved, not the society. From my point of view, any solution that allows people to go on their ways in quest of better and happier life is desireable, given that there are no drastic trade-offs involved (e.g. impact on children's upbringing etc.). Increased number of divorces may also indicate the possibility that people are breaking away from the misery they go through in the cases of such marriages for a better and happier life.
I guess my point is that while an increased rate of divorces is not something that should be desireable overall and true that it is harmful to the society, there are good sides to it too -- it is not completely bad. And may be looking at it from that angle will make us realize that the party that loses the most (women) are just indepedent human beings, not the tabooed 'used commodity'.
It is commonly thought that increasing number of divorces is a deteriorating factor to the family values and overall moral direction of the society.
It is true that divorce overall has bad impact on family values, and especially the effects on children can be devastating. I am not denying this fact or argument. However, I would like to point out a different aspect of the problem which many not be all that negative.
There are many cases where husband and wife don't have that core relationship, affection, or care for eachother which is necessary for a happy married life. In most of such cases, women are exploited, thrashed, and go through hell in everyday life. But they remain married because society dictates them or due to family pressure or threats etc.
An increased rate in divorce may be indicative that those women are standing up for themselves. I think standing up for themselves will also eventually earn women the respect and position in society which they deserve since (generally speaking) divorcee women are looked down upon in Pakistani society (My apologies if this comment has caused any distress -- but I would rather like to see my generation not to look at it as a proscriptive topic or reality, unlike the generations before).
Also, even if the husband is not a cruel *******, any marriage that is based solely on living-together-without-knowing-why is better off be nullified.
I personally believe in personal freedom and quest of happiness based on the definition of happiness of the particular individual involved, not the society. From my point of view, any solution that allows people to go on their ways in quest of better and happier life is desireable, given that there are no drastic trade-offs involved (e.g. impact on children's upbringing etc.). Increased number of divorces may also indicate the possibility that people are breaking away from the misery they go through in the cases of such marriages for a better and happier life.
I guess my point is that while an increased rate of divorces is not something that should be desireable overall and true that it is harmful to the society, there are good sides to it too -- it is not completely bad. And may be looking at it from that angle will make us realize that the party that loses the most (women) are just indepedent human beings, not the tabooed 'used commodity'.
Comment