Prostitutes

[Shpooki]

This word always brings an image (to many) of ugly women with too much exposure on street corners. But ever thought of the human side of it?
I'm aware the following post wont draw much responses but, but one thing I'm sure of is that this story I wont ever forget.

Yesterday night, going home from college I wait for the SkyTrain. A young girl of early 20s I suppose walks up to me and asks me to spare her some change in exchange of a *&*^ &^% . I refuse her offer but still give her something and she bursts into tears. I'm dumbfounded not knowing what to do.
She sobs and says she hasnt eaten nothing in
she cant recall how many days and she doesnt know where her child is and says that she is absolutely fed up and tired of selling herself all the time for moeny and wishes that she could just somehow die. But then she says she cant die becuz of her child and then she says she doesnt know what to do. A woman whose only crime I suppose is that she doesnt have the basic necessaties of life. and she doesnt have anyone to talk to about her worries and troubles. All this time she was crying like a six year old, only she isnt six and knows that no grown up would come to her aid this time. Infact she keeps away from grown ups, only goes to them in desperate need forced by hunger and solitude.

The train arrives and I get on it. Wishing in hell I could do something, but I know I'm a selfish old ******* and all I can do sit and watch knowing the horrific crimes and injustices in the in progress. I turn my eyes away from hers and put on my stereo so as to diminish the sound of her sobs in my mind. I cant tell you how empty I feel after last night.

Thanx for being a great audience.



[This message has been edited by kashmirigirl (edited October 06, 1999).]

[NYAhmadiX]

Shpooki Yar, this is very cool. You were able to give her the money and help in a way by listening to her. In some places it is a crime to give money to hookers. Their acts may be that of desperation, but their goal is the same as everyone else – to provide for their kids, etc. Their desires to make a better living cannot be ‘criminalized’, but that’s what the law has done to them. The law has ‘criminalized’ their needs inadvertently.

Prostitutes are people like any of us. They deserve the same respect as we all do. It is extremely sensitive issue and a very big headache for public policy makers. We have seen that making it illegal hasn’t solved the problem. The only alternative left it to legalize it and let the actions take the course. It cannot get any worse than it already is. Look at situation in some newly industrialized developing countries (e.g., Thailand) where children as young as 8 are used and sold for sex. By legalizing, the state can more vigorously monitor this abuse of the mankind. I am not suggesting that it will completely eradicate the problem, it will, I hope, minimize the horrible atrocities committed against young kids. Look at the red light district of Amsterdam. There at least, the State is aware of what goes on, and how to make sure that it does not spread into other parts of the city.

In any event, your actions were very noble. That of a gentleman!

[kashmirigirl]

Excellent post.

I agree with NYahmedi

and shpooki....The fact that you listened, the fact that you did stop to offer some help means you're not a "selfish *******" at all.

We all try to help and do good..sometimes, what is required is too overwelming, the emotionality to high and we can not do everything that is required to resolve it all....which is perhaps why you need to distance yourself.
It happens to all of us...maybe not for prosititutes but anywhere we see hardship and/or unfairness.

------------------
Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
-Henrichs


[This message has been edited by kashmirigirl (edited October 06, 1999).]

[AuntiG]

Such a sad statement of our times and us - how indifferent and hardened to life we can be. Kinda reminds me of the Phil Collins song - Another Day in Paradise altho I know that one mainly dealt with homelessness, but it also talked about the attitude of indifference we tend to show to such outcasts of society.


Here's the song:
Another Day in Paradise
Phil Collins

She calls out to the man on the street
'Sir, can you help me ?'
'it's cold, and I've nowhere to sleep.
is there somewhere you can tell me ?'

He walks on, doesn't look back,
he pretends he can't hear her
starts to whistle as he crosses the street
seems embarrased to be there.

Oh think twice, it's another day for
you and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
you and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
he can see she's been crying
she's got blisters on the soles of her feet
she can't walk, but she's trying

Oh think twice .....

Oh Lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh Lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
you can see that she's been there
probably been moved on from every place
'cos she didn't fit in there

Oh think twice .....


Not that I think that all prostitutes are doing it out of want for their kids, etc, but ... there is a lot of serious thought in this thread...maybe too serious for poor old AuntiG

Perhaps just acknowledgement is a good beginning. Throughout history, awareness is what led to any humanitarian changes...

[Achtung]

Shpooki wrote “She sobs and says she hasn’t eaten nothing in she cant recall how many days and she doesn’t know where her child is and says that she is absolutely fed up and tired of selling herself all the time for money and wishes that she could just somehow die.”

So to summarize, she didn’t choose this lifestyle, its been forced upon her by societies shortcomings; she doesn’t like what she does, she’s “absolutely fed up and tired of selling herself all the time for money”; in fact so fed up, she would rather “die”. Perhaps you should have explained to her the benefits of legalizing her trade that she should continue to sell her body because after legalization her problems will be over. Her child will have a happy whore for a mother, she will be able to eat her fill for the day and she’ll love her job (Achtung is being sarcastic for those who didn’t notice because this statement testifies to the fact that women do not want to be prostitutes, they do not choose this lifestyle, but rather pursue it because society has offered them with no alternative).

Shpooki wrote: “But then she says she cant die becuz of her child and then she says she doesnt know what to do.”

So to summarize, she has no choices, no alternatives that she is aware of. Well perhaps you should have told her of the benefits of legalizing prostitution, that is an alternative I’m sure she’d be happy to hear about (Achtung again is being sarcastic, because in reality she doesn’t want to here about prostitution, she doesn’t want to prostitute herself, she is asking, pleading for an alternative source of income, for some type of redemption).

Shpooki wrote: “All this time she was crying like a six year old, only she isnt six and knows that no grown up would come to her aid this time. Infact she keeps away from grown ups, only goes to them in desperate need forced by hunger and solitude.”

Well here is what has to change. There has to be options, there has to be an awareness of options. Prostitution is about male supremacy, its about a lack of options for women who are driven to desperation, they don’t do this work out of their own free will. She doesn’t want to go to a “grown up” who will force her to perform some “tricks” for his sexual gratification, she wants to go somewhere where she can escape from this life – not a place that legitimizes it through legalization. That escape for her, even includes the option of death. Surely society can come up with some other viable options.

Shpooki wrote “...I'm a selfish old ******* and all I can do sit and watch knowing the horrific crimes and injustices in the in progress.”

Thanks for the post. You did all that was in your power to do. Allah will reward you surely.

AuntiG wrote: “...it also talked about the attitude of indifference we tend to show to such outcasts of society.”

Precisely and in order to eliminate that indifference we have to eliminate the perception of anybody being an ‘outcast’. Prostitutes will be viewed as such whether the trade is illegal or legal. Adult film stars aren’t viewed with any more or less respect than that of a prostitute and their trade is legal. What is important is to provide ‘outcasts’ such as these, who are outcasts not because of inherent differences in the color of their skin, their ethnicity, or religion, but because of their social status, with opportunities to move beyond their current position. In essence to move them to a position where they no longer are viewed as outcasts – legalization doesn’t provide them with such a move, it only legitimized their present position.

By the way, AuntiG, I really like you, most of my Aunties don’t listen to Phil Collins. Your obviously a special Aunti

Achtung

[NYAhmadiX]

I don’t think for a moment that Achtung is being sarcastic. I profoundly refuse to believe it (even if he is being sarcastic). What he is expressing is the desperation that we all feel. He is looking at this ‘problem’ from a ‘humanitarian’ perspective, which is totally understandable. More than totally.

The problem is more philosophical and it can get quite intellectual (as if it hasn’t already!) and we can then take it to the next level. Which will be more jurisprudencial in realization than we need to (at least in this forum). Good laws are not made on the prima-facia value of an issue and the modes-operndous changes when we look at this issue from the ‘public health’ perspective. For example, ‘murder’ is a murder when a white man kills a white man. It becomes a hate crime (in fact a lot bigger than a conventional murder) when a white man kills a Black man because of the color of his skin. [The modes-operndous argument.] I would hate to get to that level of discussion because it will require more time than any one of us can afford. As AuntiG so eloquently said, that no matter what side of the spectrum we are, at least we agree that this ‘problem’ exists and something should be done to correct it.

Achtung, you are ‘never’ sarcastic, only a little ‘emotional’ at times. I believe I fall into that trap also for the issues that I am concerned about. The lines are very thin, if I loose my job; I could become a homeless in less than a day, with two little kids, and a wife to support. I need to make contribution to the civil society that if I ever reach that moment, there is something for me to fall back on. I would hate to sell my body (not that anyone will want it) for money. Your arguments about providing social nets is very valid. But it has been proven that providing social nets alone does not work, especially when there are limited resources, e.g., poor countries.

[AuntiG]

AchtungG Thanks

NYA G, how true that any given moment "but for the grace of God, go I" btw, one need not only think social nets are not plentiful in poor countries - past experiences have shown it to be true here in USA.

More than just acknowledgement is needed, the desire and then the willingness to get some reform started is necessary. This poor old AuntiG just doesn't know how...yet worries a lot, as there are just no guaranties in life...
So I continue to pray that Allah Ta'Allah enable me to leave this world a little better off than it was when I came into it, and not hang my head in shame and ignore the worlds "outcasts"