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    Mera Piya Ghar Aaya…

    I have been trying my best to help my friends here with their concerns and problems: whether chicken or egg issue, or men in makeup, from eating good food to marital problems. Now I need your help with one of mine.

    My old man (Payoo, Aba Ji, Walid Sahib, Dad, Father all names of the same person) arrives tomorrow from Lahore to spend 4 weeks with my family, mostly to spend time with his grandkids. I am a little nervous. My dad and I have a strange relationship, one of love and hate. I hate his guts, but I love him as a father. Overall, his views bug me. I understand that he is of a different generation and he has his mind set about certain values and issues. I do understand where he comes from, but I have a problem dealing with him.

    I promised to myself that I will be very nice to him and will try to not make him so upset. But I am only a human being, and only a weak one, I must say. To me the test of true love and care is that you accept people with their faults as well, and not just their goodness.

    If you have any suggestions, or ideas as to how to deal with my Dad while he is in New York, and to make his stay pleasurable, please share with me.



    #2
    NYAhmadi,

    I can see how this could be tough. But just remember, you're not going to change him, and he probably knows he can't change you. So...you might as well get along! Don't tease him, don't say things that you know will make him upset (you have a talent for this!), and try not to contradict him in front of your family. You can listen to his criticisms of what you're doing, and try not to argue back too much. Rolling your eyes every once in a while might help you to relieve tension.

    Have fun with your dad, and give him lots of hugs!

    Zara

    Comment


      #3
      What ever you do man...

      Dont mention that you're thinking of eating up pigs. That'd probably start a war or some thing.

      Yeah and avoid the talk of alchohol as well.

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        #4

        Dear NYA,

        I understand your concern...I have the same dilemma, my mother-in-law is visiting me and
        and she can be a real pain. I don't know how to handle her. If it is any consolation, pleasse know that you are not the only one in this jam...mothers-in-law are even more difficult to deal with...so just hang in and let nature take its course.

        Good luck.

        Antidote.

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          #5
          NYA,

          Just bear in mind he wasn't a selfish SOB (wild guess) and be patient for the 4 weeks. Hey, I can relate because my father was a very correct character who literally sacrificed his life for his family. Get through those 4 weeks and I guess it will count in your favour for the rest of your Pa's life. That must count for something.

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            #6
            Hun.....why not send NYA's payoo and Antidots's mother in law to grand canyon.

            ~~Khoub guzray gi jo mil bhaithain gay diwaanay dou

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              #7
              Dear Friends,

              Thanks for your support. It means a lot to me!

              I will try to enjoy his stay with us as much as possible. The only reason I get mad with him is I guess deep down I realize how much I am like him. I know he is a very fine person, and has always been a good father to all of us. It is just that at times I feel that I am a father of two myself, but he still treats me like a little kid. I guess that is not such a bad thing afterall.

              Thanks!

              Dear Zaraatif, It is absolutely true. My dad and I both realize that.

              Dear Shpooki,,(I may be crazy but I know how to protect my a$$ from #10 shoe with leather sole)

              Dear Antidote, Motherinlaw. I feel for you!

              Dear Mr. Xtreme, He is a veteran of the 65 War. Your guess is not wild at all, Selfish will be last word I would use to describe him, and most people of his generation. It is only "our" (your and mine) generation that needs some growing up to do.

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                #8
                Dear Baykhatr,

                It is a great idea but but who will pay for that?

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                  #9
                  NYA i feel for u bud

                  wanna join my club of

                  "We love you but pls dont come visit us"

                  [This message has been edited by nadia21 (edited September 18, 1999).]

                  Comment


                    #10
                    NYA......>>Dear Baykhatr,
                    It is a great idea but but who will pay for that?<<

                    Well that should not be difficult. Sell some hog feet or chops or pork blood susages infront of Yankee stadium. YOu will will have more than enough in less time. It will also keep you engaged enjoying your favorite bite!!

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                      #11

                      oi you ungrateful little twat ... ure dads the one who brought u in this world (well kind of!!!!).... he is the one who stood by you n' watched u grow (well i think he did....he can see cant he?) ...hes the one who heard ure first words (can he hear?).... the one who felt ure first bite with ure newly grown teeth(does he feel?) ....im sure he feels .... so take care of him.....coz remember if it wasnt for him .....thered be no u!!!!!!! :0

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                        #12

                        aur chaleh piya nahi papa ghar aaya!!!!!!!

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                          #13
                          No matter what you do, but please don't criticize him in front of your wife and kids.
                          Have discussions (could be real steamy!) but not in front of all.

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                            #14
                            {mundaya that was inappropriate and deliberately inflammatory}

                            [This message has been edited by kashmirigirl (edited September 20, 1999).]

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Keep in mind the amount of difference in the television shows he is used to and the one's being shown in NYC. Cut your cable for those 4 weeks, is my suggestion.

                              Comment

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