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Failed your exams? Underqualified?

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    Failed your exams? Underqualified?

    ALL IN THE FAMILY: Failed your exams? Under-qualified? Slow on the uptake? Don't despair. Just marry into the staff of Delhi University. You'll be able to sail in over the heads of those goody-goodies who wasted their time studying. And so will your children, even if they are dumber than you are.

    Teachers have been reserving places in colleges at the university for their spouses and children, although there are no rules which say they can do this. This dubious practice came under the spotlight recently when one college re-wrote its rule book to save places for grandchildren of staff or former staff.

    The university's Dyal Singh College has now enshrined nepotism as part of its policy, with spouses, children and grandchildren of ex-employees getting favourable treatment.

    The recent rule-book change was to accommodate one student who flunked her exams, Dr. B.M. Bhalla, the college principal, admitted. "This matter came up in the college in the case of one particular case," he told the Hindustan Times.

    The college wanted to allow in the granddaughter of a retired staff member from the college's Department of Botany, the newspaper reported. Her exam score was "much below" the college's lowest acceptable grade.

    One despairing teacher told the newspaper: "Next, we will have to reserve seats for nephews, nieces, cousins, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law and so on."

    Maybe they should just change the name of the establishment to Dyal Singh College & Sons.

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    ADVANCED LEVEL GIBBERISH: Paperwork in India is unbelievably complex. So you have to applaud the Indian Customs Department for issuing a directive explaining that export procedures would be simplified and streamlined. This is it:

    pls note that the shpt under deec, depb, x-bond, dutiable pls send me the gr form because this shpts under manual processing and not in edi for re-import or exhibition goods pls send me the rbi waiver or the bank letter only for free and ddbk you have to send me the bank letter for registration this registration will be the one time registration but for each and every shpt insted of gr form you have to send me SDF form along with stam & sign.

    One baffled India-based freight forwarder told me: "If they streamline any more, water running downhill won't get out of India."

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