Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Exams

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Exams

    Hey Friends

    Well most of us go to school and with some of us we have parents who are quite concerned about our studies. Well what should be a good excuse to make to our parents if we aren't doing that good for some reasons, like u weren't able to cheat well or exam was totally different then our expectations.

    #2
    A teacher gets a blank exam paper with the following written on it by the examinee

    "khazany ki kunji teray haath main hay,
    agar pass kar day to kia baat hay"


    the teacher returned the paper back with the following written on it

    "kitaboon ki ghatri teray paas thi,
    agar yaad karta to kia baat thi"


    ofcourse he the kid failed http://www.pak.org/gupshup/biggrin.gif

    Comment


      #3
      IF you are serious about it.. use this one.
      Tell them that the PROF made the exam really hard, put in stuff he didn't cover. More than half the class FAILED ..and the SCHOOL is gonna look into this CASE.

      Comment


        #4
        sounds good Bhola#1!!
        *wink*

        Comment


          #5
          LOOKS like someone has use the same EXCUSE

          Comment


            #6


            I suggest you do as this student did......


            The BAROMETER

            Some time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a
            student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student
            claimed a perfect score. The instructor and the student agreed to an
            impartial arbiter, and I was selected.
            I read the examination question:
            "SHOW HOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO DETERMINE THE HEIGHT OF A TALL BUILDING WITH THE
            AID OF A BAROMETER."
            The student had answered, "Take the barometer to the top of the building,
            attach a long rope to it, lower it to the street, and then bring it up,
            measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of
            the building."
            The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really
            answered the question completely and correctly! On the other hand, if full
            credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics
            course and to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm
            this.
            I suggested that the student have another try. I gave the student six
            minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show
            some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written
            anything. I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers
            to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for
            interrupting him and asked him to please go on.
            In the next minute, he dashed off his answer which read: "Take the
            barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof.
            Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the
            formula x=0.5*a*t^2, calculate the height of the building."
            At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up.
            He conceded, and gave the student almost full credit. While leaving my
            colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other
            answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were.
            "Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a
            tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the
            barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the
            length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by
            the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building."
            "Fine," I said, "and others?"
            "Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will
            like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the
            stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer
            along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and his will give you
            the height of the building in barometer units."
            "A very direct method."
            "Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the
            barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the
            value of g at the street level and at the top of the building. From the
            difference between the two values of g, the height of the building, in
            principle, can be calculated."
            "On this same tact, you could take the barometer to the top of the building,
            attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing
            it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by
            the period of the precession".
            "Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem.
            Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and
            knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you
            speak to him as follows: 'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If
            you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this
            barometer."
            At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the
            conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said
            that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach
            him how to think.
            The student was Neils Bohr and the arbiter Rutherford.



            ------------------
            the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.

            shamas

            Comment


              #7
              Hello Deewana420!

              what would you answer this question?


              Why A Ship Floats


              Q. A cruise ship, made up of tons of steel, is able to float on water.
              Steel is much denser than water, so how is it that ships of enormous
              size are able to float?



              ------------------
              the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.

              shamas

              Comment


                #8

                Well Shama ji

                The reason behind which the ship floats is that the density of ship is a lot less then the density of water with respect to sea, since the volume of the ship is a hell lot less then the water.

                Now lets see if u can answer my official moron test


                Answer the following 13 questions, then scroll down and check your answers. DON'T CHEAT!!! When you are done, count the number correct and see how you compare to others.
                1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
                2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
                3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
                4. How many outs are there in an inning?
                5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
                6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2 and then add 10.
                7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
                8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
                9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
                10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?
                11. A butcher in the market is 5' 20" tall. What does he weigh?
                12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
                13. What was the President's name in 1960?


                ************NO CHEATING************ Here are the answers


                1. Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.
                2. One. You can only be born once.
                3. Tweleve. All of them have at least 28 day.
                4. Six. Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning.
                5. No. He must be dead if it is his widow!
                6. Seventy. 30 divided by 1/2 is 60.
                7. Two. You take two apples.... therefore, YOU have TWO
                8. One hour. If you take the first pill at 1 http://www.pak.org/gupshup/redface.gifo and the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only an hour has passed.
                9.Nine. Like I said, all BUT nine die.
                10. I didn't know that Moses had an ark?
                11. Meat...that is self-explanaory.>> >>> 12. TWELVE.... it is a dozen.
                13. Bill Clinton... As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name
                So, how did you do?>> >>> >> >>>
                13 correct....GENIUS.... you ARE good!
                10-12 correct.....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't get a swelled head
                7-9 correct... AVERAGE... but who want to be average?
                4-6 correct.....SLOW.....pay attention to the question.
                1-3 correct IDIOT..... what else can I say.
                0 correct.......CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON ! ! !

                Comment


                  #9
                  http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif , i don't feel to good right now...

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Dear Deewana420 sahab!

                    YOUR ANSWER IS WRONG!
                    can you find some wrong in this answer!!!
                    They can't float.

                    Remember the Titanic.

                    Anyone who pays $3,000 to go on a boat for a week
                    with a bunch of people they don't know deserves the
                    cruelest form of death available.

                    Slowly sinking
                    to the bowels of oceans
                    in their contemporary Hawaiian plaid shorts
                    as
                    god
                    takes the burden of life away from those who are
                    not fit to observe it. Perhaps the only force
                    allowing remote floatation is the plethora of bombs
                    strategically implanted in the hull of the ship
                    causing a massive upward thrust to counteract the
                    weight of their inconclusive stupidity.

                    I sit back with my Miller High Life on the cusp of
                    the island and watch and I think what a waste of
                    explosives and steel and 40 year old women who peak
                    to the bottom of their fat heart-burned husbands
                    sexual pendulums at the bottom of their swing.

                    It does not get any better than this.

                    dear Deewana sahib!
                    I was surprised the answer of your question. very goods one. You showed me something i did i knew. the navity. That every question has a fact. We should look at the question in very different angles answer also in different shapes. I glad i have found out this.
                    Thanks yaar!


                    ------------------
                    the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.

                    shamas

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Dear Genius sahab!!!!!
                      What about this question...
                      A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:

                      "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

                      ------------------
                      the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.

                      shamas

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Dear Shama ji

                        Well every body have their own way of thinking, there are some questions which cannot have definite answers, not everybody can agree on same views. Well i am not a genius i won't have the Grade problems if i would be a genius, thats why i call myself deewana and put that post up there. Well to your question i believe it should be exothermic where the heat is gonna be releazed becuase when u go to hell u r gonna get burned and that is gonna be because of the heat that is gonna be releazed from the hell.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Very Good sahab!

                          Here is the more details....

                          "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the
                          rate they ar leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

                          As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
                          that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and since people do
                          not belong to more than on religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we
                          can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

                          Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
                          Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

                          #1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
                          until all Hell breaks loose.

                          #2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
                          Hell freezes over.

                          So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in Hell
                          before I sleep with you," and we take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, the #2
                          cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."



                          ------------------
                          the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.

                          shamas

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Hello Deewana Jii

                            Here is another challenge!

                            IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS ?

                            You opinion should base on physical calculation!!!!!!!!!!!

                            you will be surprised.......

                            khuda hafiz

                            ------------------
                            the knowlegde is more sharper than a laserknife.

                            shamas

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Dear Shama ji

                              Well this time i was rite, even though our views were different but we agreed on the same answer, u sure do think in deep depth, well i ain't that big of a nerd. Well for your question i don't believe in Santa Clauses because i never encountered real one. Now what do u have to say about them.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X