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    What does it mean? Where does it come from?

    Envy is: I do not have but wish to possess, jealosy is: I have lost the object of possession and will recover it at any cost. The former can make you strive for success the latter is very destructive.

    To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.


      It is a very normal trait in human beings. One not having this trait is not "normal". The degree of jealousy varies among different people. It is not such a bad thing. It only becomes harmful when someone lacks some other traits, such as competitiveness, or adaptability, etc. A little bit of jealously is a good thing. It inspires individuals to attain greater heights. Some studies show that women prefer mates who are a "little" jealous, or possessive over those who have 'devil may care' attitude. Men (for the most part) on the other hands are not very receptive to the idea of having a jealous mate.


        Let me explain the term as someone else explained to me:

        Suppose you see someone with an object (material or non) that you had always wished to possess. Seeing that may bring out two very different kinds of emotions.
        1. Why he/she has it and not me?
        this is what someone referred to destructive emotions and is classified as jealously. Its the negative behavior which dictates that the other person should not have that object and it only belongs to me.
        2. He/she has it, I should have it to.
        this is that envy or rushk, complete opposite of jealousy. This one pushes you up. it says that if the other person has it, i can have it too, provided I try for it.

        its hard to say where these feelings come from. Although worlds apart, yet the line is so thin between these two emotions that sometimes you may very well question yourself 'am I jealous or what?'


          One can find jealousy among humans...I wonder if it exists among animals too... a different approach to the term.

          I believe one should always give others a benifit of the doubt cuz in essence jealousy could just be an instant reaction of surprise, shock or amazement which could be misinterpreted. However, I also feel that people who see others from this point of view may have some short comings themselves.



            I have seen both envy and jealousy lead to very difficult situations for people. It's sad really.

            The even more difficult thing to watch is how they rationalize their feelings and refuse to accept that it's really jealousy that is leading them to behave in an inappropriate manner.

            Can they be shown the light?


              It's hard to teach someone by bluntly pointing out their faults. They feel humiliated/belittled and are not in a position to learn.
              The only thing that can be done, in my humble opinion is to say something like, "I know it can be hard to see that everything that X touches turns to gold and no matter how hard you try you just can't seem to make headway" (or whatever is suitable on that occasion). Praise the person's generosity whenever he gives you a chance, share your joy of seeing others happy and gratitude for good fortune. Refuse to dwell upon misery and direct energies elsewhere. maybe that will do the trick!



                Nice to see you here.

                I agree....nobody likes to be berated and anyone that hopes to teach another something by this process is probably not thinking of helping but has a personal agenda of his/her own.

                The next question that arises is....considering all the trouble one would have to endure to "show someone the light" do you decide that a person is worth spending that much effort on?