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Whether to allow someone to make mistakes

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    Whether to allow someone to make mistakes

    O.k... here's the deeelio:

    If you see your friend, sibling or others that you care about on their way to making a mistake or blunder, would you stop them from doing so or would you let them go on and let them learn from their mistake?

    If we stop someone from going on a certain path because we know it leads to failure, I think it is better to let them go on their path and watch them fail. The best lessons learned are the ones that we learned from our own failures. If we stop someone we deeply care about from making a mistake, it is true that they'll probably succeed in every step of the way, but they'll never know what it feels like to fail which is an equally integral part of life. In my opinion, we fail more than we succeed but our success overshadows our failures because of the gratification it provides.

    When we were first learning to walk, imagine if our parents made sure that we didn't fall while trying. I think we would still be unsure about balance to this day. Franklin Covey talks about this concept in an interesting manner and says that if you care about someone, let them make mistakes and let them fall. They'll become better person that way!

    Thoughts!! Comments? Alooo Temaater?

    I agree with letting others learn from their own mistakes and fallouts, with one exception though: As long as the the mistake they are making is not something that would change the whole course of their life into some drastic, extremely unpleasant measures.

    For example (and I know it's not a very good example but that's the only one comes to mind right now), I would let someone dear to me try out alcohol or cigarettes even though they can cause big health problems, to let him/her learn their insidious effects on his/her own... but I would never anyone try out Crack, or Cocain or heroein etc. because once they get addicted, that's the end of them. In such a case it's not worth abidding by "golden rules" like
    The best lessons learned are the ones that we learned from our own failures
    but they'll never know what it feels like to fail which is an equally integral part of life
    There are lessons that are best be learned by the examples of others, for the rest, fall and learn on your own!


      Roman yaar....

      cigarettes and alcohol are both addictive and I am not sure if whether I should let the person try and find out for himself or warn him in advance for the dangers they entail. I took the cold turkey approach with smoking and it wasn't easy. Even now, cheat once in a blue moon.

      I like what you said about actions which will have an extreme and detrimental effect on a person's future well being.



        Like I said, it wasn't a good example, but couldn't think more pertinent at the moment either

        I quit smoking on 'cold turkey' basis for four months and was doing fine until one day....



          Sorry to butt in guys but I just wanted to put in a quick word here.
          We all are gonna end up making mistakes even if we have someone watching over us,there's no such thing as not being able to feel what failure feels like!Because,even the best of us are not going to get through life without making mistakes etc.The important thing here is that those who are older should let the younger ones know that they are there for them and are willing to give advice when needed.In other words,if you're asked for advice then go ahead and talk about your experiences if not then trust your siblings to make use of their upbringing to get them through.If you start bossing your siblings around,it's not going to do any good.
          Thats all.Im off.

          Fear of death is a delusion
          Harbored in the breast of sages;
          He who lives a single springtime;
          Is like one who lives for ages.
          ----Khalil Jibran.


            So many times you cannot stop someone from making mistakes, even if you want to. Yes I agree, we can warn them or be more assertive if aftermath can be drastic; but ultimate decision would be that person's own. Till they develop their own sense of discernment... whats right or wrong, they might avoid one, but go on to make some other mistake.


              of course the best lesson is the one we learn by experience, but if you stop someone from a dangerous act that can deteriorate his/her whole life, why would u not do that?whats the problem with that? the person follows your suggestion or not is a different matter, but you should tell him your view at least once, as there is a chance that the person would realize the danger and would not do that. and your view might be right for small mistakes we make in our daily life, but it can not be applied to any of the bigger matters of life.

              janab kay jhian misalan dainday payee ho!! ajj kuj thakey jay lagdey ho??? he! he! (just kidding)


              [This message has been edited by YASIR NAWAZ (edited July 30, 1999).]


                I went down this road a while ago when I was sitting with some friends around a table of guys of various ages and walks of life. It's that "Know it all Attitude !" When you're 16 you think you know it all. When that same person reaches 21 he/she looks back and admits that they certainly didn't know it all. And again when they move onward and upward to 25, 30 the same rule applies. You might think you know what you're doing at key stages of your life but the truth is there is simply no right and wrong about any of life's decisions. There are religious values, personal values and simply values that other people set upon us which result in us making decisions some good and bad.

                I look back at my life and know full well that things never went according to my great plan and if given an opportunity to go back and do things different .... in all honesty I wouldn't because things have worked out for the best. If all good things come to you easy you never appreciate what you have.

                You might find something in here worth considering.