Dear brothers and sisters, using my pragmatic judgement and infinite wisdom, I have identified the sole reason for Pak's horrible showing in the '03 WC. And it is ...... Jawad Ahmed (henceforth, known as Jawadda lubbar).
Let me take you take you back to the grand send-off that our Pak team was given before the WC. A lot of wonderful entertainers were there who've delighted us over the years. However, there was one lubbar there as well.
As soon as Jawadda lubbar came on the stage I could even see the colour of the sky change from light blue to a black/red mixture. He started singing the absolutely run-into-the-ground "Ucchian Majajan Aali", and our boys were cursed from that moment on.
Jawadday lubbar, listen to me, get a haircut. I'll send you a five dollar cheque if you can't afford one. The mop on your head makes you look like a dunba especially when you shake your head from side to side like a retard. Also, add a dance move or two to your repertiore. If you do the the mini-crunch with your knees one more time, I swear on Abrar's Holiness that I will hit you with one of them low low kicks, which knock the person off his feet by striking the base of the legs. Also, do get a new pair of jeans and perhaps a nice shirt. And most importantly, those tight butt-hugging jeans are so out, dude. Burn yours too or risk having to answer to me. Also, if possible get your voicebox fixed (only if shutting it off entirely is not possible). Once again, I offer full monetary support for this good cause.
Finally and most importantly, for our team's sake do not, I repeat DO NOT, show up for the send off for the Pak team for the '07 WC.
Jawadday Lubbar, I vow to permanently ban you from all public stages. Just you wait for me to become the next CEO of Pakistan.
Let me take you take you back to the grand send-off that our Pak team was given before the WC. A lot of wonderful entertainers were there who've delighted us over the years. However, there was one lubbar there as well.
As soon as Jawadda lubbar came on the stage I could even see the colour of the sky change from light blue to a black/red mixture. He started singing the absolutely run-into-the-ground "Ucchian Majajan Aali", and our boys were cursed from that moment on.
Jawadday lubbar, listen to me, get a haircut. I'll send you a five dollar cheque if you can't afford one. The mop on your head makes you look like a dunba especially when you shake your head from side to side like a retard. Also, add a dance move or two to your repertiore. If you do the the mini-crunch with your knees one more time, I swear on Abrar's Holiness that I will hit you with one of them low low kicks, which knock the person off his feet by striking the base of the legs. Also, do get a new pair of jeans and perhaps a nice shirt. And most importantly, those tight butt-hugging jeans are so out, dude. Burn yours too or risk having to answer to me. Also, if possible get your voicebox fixed (only if shutting it off entirely is not possible). Once again, I offer full monetary support for this good cause.
Finally and most importantly, for our team's sake do not, I repeat DO NOT, show up for the send off for the Pak team for the '07 WC.
Jawadday Lubbar, I vow to permanently ban you from all public stages. Just you wait for me to become the next CEO of Pakistan.
Sambrialian. How I wish I could send a copy to Javaad 
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