finally removed
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Re: ~Ek nakam si koshish~
Originally posted by Bhooli Bisri:
Pehle tu cheeni gaee aankhoon se benaee yahaan
Aur phir sare nagar mein aaenay baante gaye
Din charha tu khwaf ki har simt deewarain utheen
Raat hote hi nagar mein rat-jagay baante gaye
Ek safar darpaish thaa taptay huwe sehraoon ka
Aur kuch pehle safar ke aablay baante gaye
wao, that's amazing
...bohat khoobsoorat
ghazal hey...thanx for sharing with us.
Keep it up
Reh gaya kaam hamaara hi baghawat likhna... -
Re: ~Ek nakam si koshish~
Buhat Khoob,keep it up and Thanks for sharing apni Nakaam koshish:-)Originally posted by Bhooli Bisri:
Pehle tu cheeni gaee aankhoon se benaee yahaan
Aur phir sare nagar mein aaenay baante gaye
Kab mujhe is pyar ka hissa mila ay chara gar
Jo bhi lamhay thay woh duniya ke leye baante gaye
well how you know keh yeh nakaam koshish hay... yeh tou baad meiN pata chalta hay:-p.....................................
Hum ney kaantoN ko bhi narmii sey chuhwaa hey aksar
log be-dard heiN PhooloN ko massal detay heiNComment
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aap ki ye koshish nakaam nahi balkay bahot hi umda koshish hai aisay hi aap likhti rahie kamiyabi aap kay qadam chomay ge ~Comment
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bohtu achee likhe hai ap ne
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Re: ~Ek nakam si koshish~
very niceOriginally posted by Bhooli Bisri:
Jab bhi khush bakhti se manzil ki taraf aye kabhi
Phir humein ek mor de kar faasilay baante gaye
Ek safar darpaish thaa taptay huwe sehraoon ka
Aur kuch pehle safar ke aablay baante gaye
[/B]
keep it up :-)your lips are keep moving .
but all i hear is... Blah Blah BlahComment
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Re: ~Ek nakam si koshish~
Originally posted by Bhooli Bisri:
Ek safar darpaish thaa taptay huwe sehraoon ka
Aur kuch pehle safar ke aablay baante gaye
koshish thanks 4 sharing
~BadlooN peR baseRa~
/)/)..(\(\
( ._.).(._. )o(_(')(')..(')(')_)o
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Re: ~Ek nakam si koshish~
you have all qualities of saying good asha'ar and your whole ghazal is balanced and rythimitically chained together with the meanings of individual verses being separated from the collective meaning and each sher thus can stand alone and can be understood in any given scenario of the life; and can be related to anyone's life and has the ability to be understood by anyone in his/her own circumstances .. as well as that is true for the whole ghazal
wazan, beh'r, qafiyaa, radeef,.. everything seems on the proper position considering the fact that this is your initial efforts...
very nice very touching and very deep
I just need to understand the use of the underline word in the following quoted sher.... i do understand it but it has some literal meaning and am just interested in what you think of the meaning and what do u mean exactly by this in context of the sher itself as well as the poem....
the word is interestingly used.... but could there be anyother meaning or a different more better word was not available.. or do you think it is the right word that u used.. if yes, i am keen to understand it .. Please, do let us know... it is very beautiful
Originally posted by Bhooli Bisri:
Dosroon mein zindagi ke zaeeqay baante gaye
Dostoon mein tu faqat shikway gilay bante gaye
- Representing Gadhays of Religion and Pakistan Affair Forums -Comment
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bhoot achi koshish hai ap ke. very cool
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great job Bhooli
Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouseComment
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ap co bohoot bohoot mubarak ho bhooli jii. ap ke nazam urdupoint par be Aa gye hai
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Chara gar = Ausaaf Shaikh (Bhooli Bisri?)Originally posted by ullujii:
ap co bohoot bohoot mubarak ho bhooli jii. ap ke nazam urdupoint par be Aa gye hai
http://poetry.urdupoint.com/muqabla/...ml?dosraoo.gif- Representing Gadhays of Religion and Pakistan Affair Forums -Comment
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Originally posted by ullujii:
ap co bohoot bohoot mubarak ho bhooli jii. ap ke nazam urdupoint par be Aa gye hai
http://poetry.urdupoint.com/muqabla/...ml?dosraoo.gif
kia baat hai GS per kitany mash-hoor shaier atey pata nahi tha .....ab tu sab k autograph chaiey hum ko..keon uluji..
~BadlooN peR baseRa~
/)/)..(\(\
( ._.).(._. )o(_(')(')..(')(')_)o
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Originally posted by Koyal:
kia baat hai GS per kitany mash-hoor shaier atey pata nahi tha .....ab tu sab k autograph chaiey hum ko..keon uluji..
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Waah ray kya baat hai gupshup ki :-) aur aheem bhola bisra ki
your lips are keep moving .
but all i hear is... Blah Blah BlahComment
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