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Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

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    #16
    Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

    Originally posted by Anwaar Qureshi

    Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?
    Apni hi qaeynaat sey rooThaa huwa ik toota taara!

    Falak ke haath sey chootey to zameeN pe aan girey
    Phir jis ke ba'ad koi shikwey raheiN na koi giley

    Haalaat ki dehleez per rifaaqatoN ka behimaana qat'l
    Jiss ke ba'ad woh chaahey bhi to na paaey sambhal!


    BarsoN pehlaY yaad karo hum donoN ney in jaarroN meiN
    do roshan taarey deikhey they door kaheiN pahaaroN meiN

    uss da'm tum kuch yaad karo kiya kiya hum naY socha thaa
    Ik taaraa meraa thaa aur aik taaraa unn maiN teraa thaa

    sard raataiN to beet gaeiN yuNhi taktey taktey taaroN ko
    jaaney phir kiss ki nazar lagi unn maasooM bechaaroN ko

    Phir Ik din shaam maiN youN hee maiN beThaa kiyaa
    tukk rahaa thaa aasmaaN ko kaY kuch youN huaa

    unn "dau taaroN" maiN saY ik taraa TooT gayaa
    Dooja taaraa aasmaanoN maiN bilkul Tanhaa reh gayaa

    maiN dekhtaa rahaa, sochtaa rahaa, bahut ghaur kiyaa
    maiN abb bhee naa samjhaa kaY konsaa taaraa TooT gayaa

    abb maiN pochtaa hee rehtaa hooN subb saY yeh
    Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

    kuch jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tooTaa thaa woh?
    Kiss kee wafaaouN kaa khoon kar gayaa thaa woh?


    --------------------------------------
    Anwaar Qureshi --- 2/27/2006
    humesha ki terha bohet hi khoub
    likhtay rehain .....aur share kertay rehain

    khoush rehain
    Taroon sey ziada chamkey, phooloon sey ziada mehkey
    sadiyaan hazaroon dekhey, mera dais, mera dais

    Comment


      #17
      Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

      It's a wonderful poem... with a deep background... but I somehow feel it does neither represent your style of writing, neither Amal's... I could be just me but while reading I felt like I was reading a mixture of two totally different writers... No doubt, you and Amal, both are great poets on your own way, lekin aap donoN ka ehsaas ko lafzoN key pehnaavey meiN laaney ka alag alag qareenah hai, likhney ka apna apna andaaz hai... and if I'm not mistaken, the first part of the poem is more influenced by Amal than the second part. I guess I would have liked both your and Amal's first and untouched versions better.. no matter if it rhymes or not! But here again... it's just a personal preference... keep it the way you like best... :-)

      Comment


        #18
        Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

        abb maiN pochtaa hee rehtaa hooN subb saY yeh
        Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?
        Nahi Magar ap ki shairi ny btaa diya Ky kysa hota hy tota tara
        YAZEED-UN-Nisa!

        Comment


          #19
          Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

          Oh man... I missed so many replies to answer..

          Goodnews: what's up with all this old threads digging movement
          Originally posted by Capricorn View Post
          I got myself identified in that theme. Jaaron kee sard, chandinee raaton mein woh chat pe beth ke taaron ko dekhna aur andheree raaton mein taaron ke tootne ke manaazir dil pe aaj bhee naqsh hain. Tumhare khayaal kee rawaanee mein apne khayaal ko paaya to be-khud sa rah gaya!
          tum jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tootaa thaa woh ?
          Originally posted by Prince Ali View Post
          thanx
          Originally posted by OMG View Post
          Kash main bhi aap ki tarha shairi kar sakti.
          aur kaash maiN aap kee tarah paintings :~)
          Originally posted by Berhi_Bee View Post
          humesha ki terha bohet hi khoub
          likhtay rehain .....aur share kertay rehain

          khoush rehain
          Thanks for the duaaz
          Originally posted by KhamoshNigahein View Post
          It's a wonderful poem... with a deep background... but I somehow feel it does neither represent your style of writing, neither Amal's... I could be just me but while reading I felt like I was reading a mixture of two totally different writers... No doubt, you and Amal, both are great poets on your own way, lekin aap donoN ka ehsaas ko lafzoN key pehnaavey meiN laaney ka alag alag qareenah hai, likhney ka apna apna andaaz hai... and if I'm not mistaken, the first part of the poem is more influenced by Amal than the second part. I guess I would have liked both your and Amal's first and untouched versions better.. no matter if it rhymes or not! But here again... it's just a personal preference... keep it the way you like best... :-)
          laikin kiyaa uss tarah pataa chaltaa, kaunsaa taaraa tootaa thaa?
          Quite often good things have hurtful consequences. There are instances of men who have been ruined by their money or KILLED by their COURAGE. ~Aristotle

          Comment


            #20
            Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

            Originally posted by Anwaar Qureshi View Post
            Goodnews: what's up with all this old threads digging movement
            tum jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tootaa thaa woh ?

            thanx
            Mujhy gumshuda khazanon ki tlash ka shooq hy bas isi liy digging karti rehti hon, or gumghashta dafeeny nikal lati hon
            YAZEED-UN-Nisa!

            Comment


              #21
              Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

              AQ, achee poem hey.
              Dushwari
              Difference between God and humankind: God can say, 'be', and it becomes, but humankind has to act on what it says.

              Comment


                #22
                Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                nehe abhe taq toh nehe deikha ap nei dekha he
                :crying:

                Comment


                  #23
                  Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                  Originally posted by *Masoom Muskaan* View Post
                  Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                  nehe abhe taq toh nehe deikha ap nei dekha he
                  mae ne dekha hai.. 2 dafa
                  ~ ... palat k har taraf se kyon nazR us shaks per thehrii?
                  wafa k silsilo`N kii wo, musalsal inteha thehra
                  ...~

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                    good work...keep it up...

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                      Umda Work Sayeen
                      Love is unconditional, relationships are not
                      BeInG lOn3lY sId

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                        very touchey

                        tooty hoye taray ki jagha naya tara jald heee ajata hay ...: P
                        Jo ban ban ker bigray ussay Tadbeer kehtay hain
                        Jo bigar bigar ker banay ussay
                        Taqdeer kehtay hain

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                          wowwwwwwwwwwwww
                          I Can Have Wutever I Like

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                            Nice

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                              wah je wah, AQ bhai.
                              thanks for sharing the poem.
                              cheers!
                              "Devoid of human emotions, is not likely to be a human being, unless he tries with all his might, without all his fears. "

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                                Originally posted by Anwaar Qureshi View Post
                                tum jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tootaa thaa woh ?

                                Wo umaawas kee raat thee....
                                Zuhra* ke daayein taraf se, aik taara toota thaa......
                                jiske tootne par hum ne duayein maangee theen ke
                                ab kee baar hamaree zindagee mein agar koi museebat aaye to................
                                Ae Parwardigaar, hamein un nazaaron mein kho dena ke jin mein
                                na koi aankh nam hua kartee thee aur na koyee khwaab toota karte thay......
                                un duaon ka kia bana!!!!!!!
                                Kia us toot'te taare ne hamaree duaon ka arsh par puhanchna kaheen kaat dia tha!!!!

                                *symbolic
                                Mere junoon ka na lo imtihaan,
                                Jaanan

                                Comment

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