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Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

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    Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

    This is my new poem.

    A lot of credit goes to Amal for looking into it and guiding me on things that I could not express the way I wanted to.

    Amal, I will be bugging you later too

    Umeed hai pasand aaye gee

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?
    Apni hi qaeynaat sey rooThaa huwa ik toota taara!

    Falak ke haath sey chootey to zameeN pe aan girey
    Phir jis ke ba'ad koi shikwey raheiN na koi giley

    Haalaat ki dehleez per rifaaqatoN ka behimaana qat'l
    Jiss ke ba'ad woh chaahey bhi to na paaey sambhal!


    BarsoN pehlaY yaad karo hum donoN ney in jaarroN meiN
    do roshan taarey deikhey they door kaheiN pahaaroN meiN

    uss da'm tum kuch yaad karo kiya kiya hum naY socha thaa
    Ik taaraa meraa thaa aur aik taaraa unn maiN teraa thaa

    sard raataiN to beet gaeiN yuNhi taktey taktey taaroN ko
    jaaney phir kiss ki nazar lagi unn maasooM bechaaroN ko

    Phir Ik din shaam maiN youN hee maiN beThaa kiyaa
    tukk rahaa thaa aasmaaN ko kaY kuch youN huaa

    unn "dau taaroN" maiN saY ik taraa TooT gayaa
    Dooja taaraa aasmaanoN maiN bilkul Tanhaa reh gayaa

    maiN dekhtaa rahaa, sochtaa rahaa, bahut ghaur kiyaa
    maiN abb bhee naa samjhaa kaY konsaa taaraa TooT gayaa

    abb maiN pochtaa hee rehtaa hooN subb saY yeh
    Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

    kuch jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tooTaa thaa woh?
    Kiss kee wafaaouN kaa khoon kar gayaa thaa woh?


    --------------------------------------
    Anwaar Qureshi --- 2/27/2006
    Quite often good things have hurtful consequences. There are instances of men who have been ruined by their money or KILLED by their COURAGE. ~Aristotle

    #2
    Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

    uss da'm tum kuch yaad karo kiya kiya hum naY socha thaa
    Ik taaraa meraa thaa aur aik taaraa unn maiN teraa thaa


    maiN dekhtaa rahaa, sochtaa rahaa, bahut ghaur kiyaa
    maiN abb bhee naa samjhaa kaY konsaa taaraa TooT gayaa


    kuch jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tooTaa thaa woh?
    Kiss kee wafaaouN kaa khoon kar gayaa thaa woh?



    Loved it!!

    Godd job AQ

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

      have you posted this before!? khair beautiful piece of work!

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

        Very nice. Pur asar nazam hai. Looking for more.
        Shan
        Ham ko aya na haal-e-dil kehna
        Kitni batain woh keh gaye chup chap. 27/03/06

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

          good try AQ , and i m sure Amal can help u to express ur thoughts in a better way
          ------------
          ye aap ham to bojh hai.n zamiin kaa.....

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

            beautiful
            ~ ... palat k har taraf se kyon nazR us shaks per thehrii?
            wafa k silsilo`N kii wo, musalsal inteha thehra
            ...~

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

              The only thing that goes to my credit is that I was the one who saw it before anyone else here. Let the full credit go to Anwaar for this lovely poem. Keep it up Anwaar
              Reh gaya kaam hamaara hi baghawat likhna...

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                evilmastermind: Thank you for loving it

                GKK: No, I have not posted it before but the reason it sounds familiar is because the tone and style of opening line is taken from Amal's chain of poems like "Tum nay haaraY huaY Juwaari ko kabhi dekhaa hai" ... Thank you for liking it.

                Shahana Aunty: Thank you to you too.

                Bholay Bisray: Yes, I am sure too.

                Heart Hacker: bahut dinoN ba'ad nazar aayeeN.. Shukriya

                and finally AMAL: meraY dost, kitnaa hee jhuTlaao, you have a great part in making it ryhme in few places aur waisaY bhee iss kaa aaghaaz tum saY hee churaayaa hai Thanks!
                Quite often good things have hurtful consequences. There are instances of men who have been ruined by their money or KILLED by their COURAGE. ~Aristotle

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                  v nice one AQ...thanks for sharing with us ur nice work
                  ~mujhaY kis jurm ki saza mili k meRi rooh taak hai thaki huwi
                  maiN apni jaga se hila nahi meRi saans phiR be ukhaR gaye~

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                    Zabardast.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                      Originally posted by Anwaar Qureshi
                      BarsoN pehlaY yaad karo hum donoN ney in jaarroN meiN
                      do roshan taarey deikhey they door kaheiN pahaaroN meiN

                      uss da'm tum kuch yaad karo kiya kiya hum naY socha thaa
                      Ik taaraa meraa thaa aur aik taaraa unn maiN teraa thaa

                      sard raataiN to beet gaeiN yuNhi taktey taktey taaroN ko
                      jaaney phir kiss ki nazar lagi unn maasooM bechaaroN ko

                      Phir Ik din shaam maiN youN hee maiN beThaa kiyaa
                      tukk rahaa thaa aasmaaN ko kaY kuch youN huaa

                      unn "dau taaroN" maiN saY ik taraa TooT gayaa
                      Dooja taaraa aasmaanoN maiN bilkul Tanhaa reh gayaa

                      kuch jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tooTaa thaa woh?
                      Kiss kee wafaaouN kaa khoon kar gayaa thaa woh?


                      --------------------------------------
                      Anwaar Qureshi --- 2/27/2006
                      Its beautiful and quite sad at the same time. The warmth of togetherness and the pangs of separation described in it is just amazing. Loved it
                      Mere junoon ka na lo imtihaan,
                      Jaanan

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                        Nikamijanoo, OMG and Capri thanks..

                        Capri, I am glad to see you picking out the part that is actually the theme and my favorite as well
                        Quite often good things have hurtful consequences. There are instances of men who have been ruined by their money or KILLED by their COURAGE. ~Aristotle

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                          Originally posted by Anwaar Qureshi
                          Nikamijanoo, OMG and Capri thanks..

                          Capri, I am glad to see you picking out the part that is actually the theme and my favorite as well
                          I got myself identified in that theme. Jaaron kee sard, chandinee raaton mein woh chat pe beth ke taaron ko dekhna aur andheree raaton mein taaron ke tootne ke manaazir dil pe aaj bhee naqsh hain. Tumhare khayaal kee rawaanee mein apne khayaal ko paaya to be-khud sa rah gaya!
                          Mere junoon ka na lo imtihaan,
                          Jaanan

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

                              Kash main bhi aap ki tarha shairi kar sakti.

                              Comment

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