Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

It Ain't Easy Being An Asian Woman

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    It Ain't Easy Being An Asian Woman

    Very Interesting article taht i picked up on my travels .....


    It Ain't Easy Being An Asian Woman

    Y’know, it ain’t easy being an Asian woman. No really, with all the talk about forced marriages, independence struggles, identity crises, the Asian babe phenomenon and all the sleazy implications that follow that last one (need I elaborate!).

    The cross that each one of us has to bear is a heavy one. Indeed, the road is a long and bumpy one. Why is it, I find myself asking, that coming up to the end of the Millennium, shortly after the deep soul-searching that Britain has had to do following the Stephen Lawrence inquiry, with so many 'liberals' around, so much information available and the embracing of a multicultural, multi-faith Britain - why, oh why, do we STILL get asked the proverbial question - "So, are you going to have an arranged marriage ?"

    Put your hands up if you’re an Asian woman who hasn't been asked that question at least once in your lifetime. Hmm, just as I suspected… Sadly, it can often be the opening line for many a white male hoping to corrupt the innocence within those Big, Dark, Long-lashed, Doe-eyes. And the response, these days, is often awkward laughter, an embarrassed grimace or just a blunt "get with the times mate…"

    Yes, before you all start sending frantic emails saying I’m selling out or the like, I know that many of us do opt for the "we’ll- find-you-a-nice-boy-betay" option and I’d like to point out right here, right now, that there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. It worked for many of our fore-parents and many of our friends, sisters, brothers etc. etc. That is not where my objection lies.

    What offends me is how that is the label by which we are defined. The girls that DO and the girls that DON’T (In western terms that means something else altogether but remember you are logged into the Network Asia website). The stereotypes go something like this: the girls who accept - no sorry, are FORCED to accept - the arranged marriage option are therefore meek, submissive and too traditional to truly ever integrate into mainstream life in Britain.

    The other stereotype is the one of girls who spurn and reject this age-old tradition. Girls who go against their parents wills, risk the wrath of the Asian community, are independent, westernised, rebellious had five boyfriends (three were white) by the time they were 15, blah blah blah. Those are deemed to be the only two categories of the lot of Asian women.

    [buzzer] Wrong! Try again. In reality - and it does bite so watch your hands serial stereotypers - the categories and lines are blurred beyond recognition. Amongst my own friends for instance, there are those who won’t be having an arranged marriage because perhaps their parents can’t be bothered with the responsibility. Plus there are those career women who just want to settle down with the right man from the same community for cultural, linguistic or religious reasons but aren't having too much luck: "where are all the good men" they often ask. There are also those who say "forget marriage, the single life suits me" Then there are also many who are introduced to guys through family, friends, colleagues etc. and take it from there in the form of assisted marriages and so on. At each end and in between these, the categories are many.

    So please, for our sanity, stop defining us in these over-simplistic ways. I hope this message has resonance outside and within the Asian community (as we’re often the worst culprits). The modern independent Asian career girl exists in many forms and often she could be the same girl who’s traveled around the world, chosen an unconventional job yet makes a great chapatti, reads and writes Punjabi and insists her parents find her their future 'damaat'.

    So let the truth be told. We reserve the right to fit within, sit outside and subvert every stereotype of Asian women you could ever dream up.

    So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
    Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

    #2
    Sadi Sobi.. that’s a nice piece. There are folks who object to be perceived as something out of a mold, I have seen such a feeling among quite a few Desi men. They talk about not being taken by their parents seriously should they ever venture out into non-customary fields, such as music, dance, acting, drug dealing, etc. One beauty of living in a places like NYC is that one gets to see a lot of different characters completely different from something out of a mold, yet they fit in rather nicely. Just like Asian Women, the challenges are universal and are prevalent among all sexes of all races.

    Thanks for sharing this with us. Try to come here more often. I usually don’t bite (well, at least not to the newcomers to this Section).

    Comment


      #3
      Sadi, I do bite...but only if you want me to.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Mr Xtreme:
        Sadi, I do bite...but only if you want me to.
        Urm .... No thanx .... I think i'm safer in Gupshup Cafe ....

        adios
        So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
        Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Sadi Sobi:
          Urm .... No thanx .... I think i'm safer in Gupshup Cafe ....

          adios
          SS
          Good you got off your chest & you were going bizerk thinking ALL FOB ,wont understand.Look who is complaining of sterotyping 'asian babe' lol he he he who stereotype all Pakistani as abusive,marrying for 15k & green card lol He he he
          More later on how you can be independent strong individual without breaking rules.ciao ta ta das vidaniya

          ------------------

          "jo kHat main kahte they apni jaan mujhko
          aaj kHat likhne main unki jaan jaati hai .....

          Comment


            #6
            Very Funny ..........!!!

            U still haven't told me about the origins of ur signiture ....

            Tell me .... NOW

            Sobi.
            So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
            Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

            Comment


              #7
              All I say to that is guys are asked same qustion "is your marriage going to be arranged?" My answer to them always is Yes, it works for us (girl and boy) and Alhamdolillah there used to be 5 muslims in this department where I work and all of them happily married (girls were happy as well) only one of them was love marriage but all of them happy. So the people in the company admit that it is strange but it works. Sometime they wish they were that luck as apart from 1 old guy all of them are divorced or separated.

              The people who write these typical articles are those who normally live in typical Asian area. All they see is culture not Islam and all I say to them is come out of the Pind. Life is much better outside.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Sadi Sobi:
                Very Funny ..........!!!

                U still haven't told me about the origins of ur signiture ....

                Tell me .... NOW

                Sobi.
                Sad Sob *sniff* *sniff*

                I didnt say i' ll tell you in a second.Look im here within 24 hours !
                You want to know origin of my sig,It originated in my mind & not ghalib,Iqbal Or Faize.It aint that great but its mine.
                About being aggressive ,'kick some butt &a$$ "gurl,like destiny child & charlie angel gals,they are fiction.Not that fiction are never real but about nothing is never in that sense.Dont let the fantasy take better of you.Parvin Shakir ,she was very good shaira of pakistan,died in accident,said
                'woh chehra kya jise dekh kar nazar thum ,jaye

                Chehra to woh hai jise dekh kar nazar JHUK,jaye'

                I know you wont forgive me ,but i get to go now ,more later ofcourse within 24 hours!

                ------------------

                "jo kHat main kahte they apni jaan mujhko
                aaj kHat likhne main unki jaan jaati hai .....

                Comment


                  #9
                  No excuses .If you start a thread u MUST reply within 24 hrs. Didn you know its in the agreement you accepted "ACCEPT" when you registered dear !!!

                  I said no excuses even if u ate fish & chips for eid ud addha or went to mosque ,or had to wrestle your brother for right to drive ,or exhausted trying to fight all men,absolutely LOL eud mubarak

                  ------------------

                  "jo kHat main kahte they apni jaan mujhko
                  aaj kHat likhne main unki jaan jaati hai .....

                  Comment


                    #10
                    No excuses .If you start a thread u MUST reply within 24 hrs. Didn you know its in the agreement you accepted "ACCEPT" when you registered dear !!!

                    I said no excuses even if u ate fish & chips for eid ud addha or went to mosque ,or had to wrestle your brother for right to drive ,or exhausted trying to fight all men,absolutely LOL eud mubarak

                    ------------------

                    "jo kHat main kahte they apni jaan mujhko
                    aaj kHat likhne main unki jaan jaati hai .....

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by FYI:
                      No excuses .If you start a thread u MUST reply within 24 hrs. Didn you know its in the agreement you accepted "ACCEPT" when you registered dear !!!

                      I said no excuses even if u ate fish & chips for eid ud addha or went to mosque ,or had to wrestle your brother for right to drive ,or exhausted trying to fight all men,absolutely LOL eud mubarak

                      OK OK OK, LISTEN I'M SORRY OK ????

                      Sorry 'bout not replying earlier but been verrrrrrry busy over the weekend - what with having no safe meat in the whole of the UK. In the end we had to settle for this shop where abu ended up paying triple the price of normal meat - and we still don't know whether it was safe or not ... I guess i'll find out soon ......!!! So i'm back at uni when the rest of my family have taken the day off and are tucked up in bed - AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. Yesterday was OK, i had 2 help out in the kitchen tho - and i still smell of onions - yuk yuk yuk. And i ate way 2 much - so i'm feeling rather lethargic, but besides that everything is great !!!!

                      Nah i didnt have a fight with my bros last night - i thought that i'd let them off seeing as it was eid and everyrthing .... lucky them ... !!! I still hate men tho .... went to Star City 2 watch 'Kuch Kathi Kuch Meethi' (Kathi one reminded me of me !!!!) and there were these 12 year old little pakis trying to pick up girls !!! I swear, every single guy there was staring at the Asian girls regardless of whether or not they were with their parents. Do these guys have no sharam ?????? And then there were those posers who'd hired out limos and beamers and convertables and were driving around Star city with their roofs off in the freezing cold weather - WHY ????? They just looked like such dumb wannabes. Neways,i just thought that u'd like 2 know that after yesterdays experiences i'm seriously consideriong turning into a nun .......

                      Thanx 4 the Shairi - I know u want me really !!!

                      Sobi
                      So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
                      Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Sadi Sobi:
                        OK OK OK, LISTEN I'M SORRY OK ????

                        Sorry 'bout not replying earlier but been verrrrrrry busy over the weekend - what with having no safe meat in the whole of the UK. In the end we had to settle for this shop where abu ended up paying triple the price of normal meat - and we still don't know whether it was safe or not ... I guess i'll find out soon ......!!! So i'm back at uni when the rest of my family have taken the day off and are tucked up in bed - AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. Yesterday was OK, i had 2 help out in the kitchen tho - and i still smell of onions - yuk yuk yuk. And i ate way 2 much - so i'm feeling rather lethargic, but besides that everything is great !!!!

                        Nah i didnt have a fight with my bros last night - i thought that i'd let them off seeing as it was eid and everyrthing .... lucky them ... !!! I still hate men tho .... went to Star City 2 watch 'Kuch Kathi Kuch Meethi' (Kathi one reminded me of me !!!!) and there were these 12 year old little pakis trying to pick up girls !!! I swear, every single guy there was staring at the Asian girls regardless of whether or not they were with their parents. Do these guys have no sharam ?????? And then there were those posers who'd hired out limos and beamers and convertables and were driving around Star city with their roofs off in the freezing cold weather - WHY ????? They just looked like such dumb wannabes. Neways,i just thought that u'd like 2 know that after yesterdays experiences i'm seriously consideriong turning into a nun .......

                        Thanx 4 the Shairi - I know u want me really !!!

                        Sobi
                        Sad Sob,

                        Ofcourse i NEED you .I wouldnt complain if you came free,i can put you to some use ,if it came to that haine?dont you think 'kuch kaam ke nahi ullahar,"lol
                        Even if you are NEKAMMI i can use you as a meineken.Why do you have any doubt?

                        So you had eid like me on 5th

                        some ppl.are hauing to day on 6th

                        Its hard in u.k. to get safe meat with mad cow & even sheeps with 'Foot in the mouth disease ',which of course u already suffer from.Roftl wtme ha ha ha ha ha -dont mind im kidding
                        i had terrific eid,we have plenty of safe meat here,i like meat & take care to not get fat in it,& balance it with fruit & vegetablesb/c i dont think you have to be vege to be health cvonscious,like yoga ppl. do.
                        keep posted, insha allah wasak


                        ------------------

                        "jo kHat main kahte they apni jaan mujhko
                        aaj kHat likhne main unki jaan jaati hai .....

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X