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    some info on gay-pakistan



    Gay Pakistan - 'less inhibited than West'
    Throughout South Asia, homosexuality has been a taboo subject. But there are signs in some areas that gay people are now becoming more open in their behaviour. In this column a gay man in Pakistan talks about the advantages of being gay there compared to the West. He prefers to remain anonymous.
    It is all too common to hear examples of the repression of sexuality and oppression of sexual minorities in South Asia.


    Open displays of straight and gay sexuality are taboo in Pakistan
    But the problem with sweeping generalisations about sexuality, or anything else for that matter, is the exceptions.

    I am one such exception - a gay man who grew up in Pakistan, became aware of his sexuality while studying in the US, had most of his early experiences of love and sex there, and yet decided to come back home to Pakistan.

    It will surprise many when I say that I actually feel more comfortable about myself while living here than I was in the West.

    It was not always so of course. Before my return, I felt quite aggrieved when my straight brother downplayed my apprehensions about being gay in Pakistan.


    I cannot remember a single occasion in almost 10 years that I have felt threatened with regards to my sexuality in Pakistan

    Send your views on this column
    It really was not a problem, he suggested. How insensitive and naive of him, I thought.

    My brother has won the point since though. While I maintain discretion in many respects, I have come out to most of my family, with their loving support.

    I have also come out to all my friends, and rarely meet anyone aggressively hostile to gay individuals.

    I have lived with a lover independently without anyone raising an eyebrow.

    I have attended gay parties more uninhibited than any I have seen in the West.

    'Differently configured'

    In fact, I cannot remember a single occasion in almost 10 years that I have felt threatened with regards to my sexuality in Pakistan.

    An entirely unrepresentative experience to be sure, as far as the experience of a majority of Pakistanis is concerned.

    But there is no representative sample that I can think of.


    Pakistan has 'conservative religious and cultural attitudes'
    Sexuality itself is so much more differently configured in Pakistan than in the West - which is where the language of the sexuality debate comes from.

    This is especially true in terms of people's perceptions of their identity and behaviour, in terms of class, with regards to family and religious obligations.

    I would not for a moment suggest that it is easy being gay in Pakistan.

    Homosexual acts are illegal, and conservative religious and cultural attitudes mean many gay people are afraid to openly acknowledge their sexuality.

    They face ostracism by their families if they do. But in a sense the American military's approach of "don't ask, don't tell" is applied throughout this society.

    'Taboo matter'

    True, there is a fine line between discretion and suffocating silence. But being straight is not that much easier, and is in fact sometimes more difficult when it comes to physical relationships.

    What is perhaps closer to the truth is that overt expression of sexuality itself - both gay and straight - is a taboo matter in Pakistani society.

    But whereas heterosexual courting and coupling is all too obvious, gay socialising can take place without attracting as much attention - with brazen abandon in a society where many forms of overt physical and emotional intimacy between members of the same gender are tolerated and even admired.

    The opposite holds true for such public expression between members of the opposite sex.

    Just as everywhere else, however, things are changing, driven by the exposure to information via technology.

    The internet, satellite television and films all combine to give a new generation of gay men and women context to their emotions, a sense of identity, an outlet for expression and perhaps most importantly, the ability to communicate with each other.

    No wonder, then, that I met my boyfriend on the internet.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4583911.stm
    Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

    #2
    Re: some info on gay-pakistan

    Looks like you never visited Peshawar or Bannu
    There is always a moral in every story

    Comment


      #3
      Re: some info on gay-pakistan

      One hot spot to find gay men in Karachi is at the intersection of sharah-e-faisal and korangi road. Right outside the FTC. Someone once told me this and i didnt believe him. Until one day when i ran into a gaylord right at that very spot.

      It was around 8 pm and was dark already. I was returning from a friend's birthday party and was bussing my way home. I had to switch two buses and that gay spot was the point where i got off one bus and get on another.

      While i was waiting for the bus i was approached by a sorta soft spoken man.

      Man: Assalamoalaikum.
      Sharjeel: W'salaam
      Man: Kia aap akhter colony ki bus ka intezaar kar rahay hain?
      Sharjeel: Ji haan.
      Man: Acha, may bhee. Waisay mujhay Azhar kehtay hain. Baree khushee huee aap say mil kar.

      At this point he extended his hand to shake hands to which i responded back by shaking hands with him. He kept shaking hands and continued talking.

      Azhar: To aisa kartay hain bus may saath beth tay hain, kia khayal haiy?
      Sharjeel: Ji?

      I noticed that we were still shaking hands and not only that but he was slowly pulling my hand toward his little brother. At that moment i remembered the fair warning given by my friend previously, which i had ignored then, to watch out for this spot.

      Now that all alarms went off, i pulled my hand back and ran like hell in the direction of my home. At this point any way to get out of that scene would suffice so i started flagging passerby motorists to gimme a ride. Luckily just then an old baba ji on his 50 cc scooter stopped and i hopped on. He got me as close to my place as possible without going out of his own way. I thanked him and walked the rest of the way home. And that was my brief encouter with the gay side of Pakistan.
      Yaad aaiy jo dard ki raat may, jis ki baat ho apni har baat may.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: some info on gay-pakistan

        Originally posted by Bookworm
        Looks like you never visited Peshawar or Bannu
        Or Taunsa Sharif in Punjab..
        How can a man die better than facing fearful odds for the ashes of his fathers and the Temple of his Gods?

        Comment


          #5
          Re: some info on gay-pakistan

          Originally posted by cHEeGUm
          One hot spot to find gay men in Karachi is at the intersection of sharah-e-faisal and korangi road. Right outside the FTC. Someone once told me this and i didnt believe him. Until one day when i ran into a gaylord right at that very spot.

          It was around 8 pm and was dark already. I was returning from a friend's birthday party and was bussing my way home. I had to switch two buses and that gay spot was the point where i got off one bus and get on another.

          While i was waiting for the bus i was approached by a sorta soft spoken man.

          Man: Assalamoalaikum.
          Sharjeel: W'salaam
          Man: Kia aap akhter colony ki bus ka intezaar kar rahay hain?
          Sharjeel: Ji haan.
          Man: Acha, may bhee. Waisay mujhay Azhar kehtay hain. Baree khushee huee aap say mil kar.

          At this point he extended his hand to shake hands to which i responded back by shaking hands with him. He kept shaking hands and continued talking.

          Azhar: To aisa kartay hain bus may saath beth tay hain, kia khayal haiy?
          Sharjeel: Ji?

          I noticed that we were still shaking hands and not only that but he was slowly pulling my hand toward his little brother. At that moment i remembered the fair warning given by my friend previously, which i had ignored then, to watch out for this spot.

          Now that all alarms went off, i pulled my hand back and ran like hell in the direction of my home. At this point any way to get out of that scene would suffice so i started flagging passerby motorists to gimme a ride. Luckily just then an old baba ji on his 50 cc scooter stopped and i hopped on. He got me as close to my place as possible without going out of his own way. I thanked him and walked the rest of the way home. And that was my brief encouter with the gay side of Pakistan.


          you didn't shake hands with his little brother ? how rude











          Comment


            #6
            Re: some info on gay-pakistan

            Its not a joke but I have seen small kids working in workshops, hotels or at the truck Addah and even in schools becoming victums of this hidden culture. On top of that these poor kids can not even speak about what happend to them, When they reach to adult age they take their revenge by victumising other kids.

            I wanted to collect data about it but then due to my work it was not possible to spend so much time as it is not easy to get information from some one.
            There is always a moral in every story

            Comment


              #7
              Re: some info on gay-pakistan

              >>>He prefers to remain anonymous.<<<

              That should tell you a lot about gays in Pakistan. If he disclosed his identity, his whole clan will be brutalized and killed and their dead-bodies will be dragged on the streets pulled by donkeys, while the Tamashbeens hold copies of Quran shout Allah-o-Akbar.


              Bookworm...that's not homosexuality, it is child molestation. The predators who sexually abuse little boys have nothing to do with Homosexuality, it is because they want to shove their prick up something. They will do it to dead chickens if they had to. Pedophilia or Child Molestation is not a trait specific to Homosexuals. Most of these molesters are not Homosexuals, but Heterosexuals, and they feel more powerful by sexually abusing little boys.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: some info on gay-pakistan

                Originally posted by Bookworm
                Its not a joke but I have seen small kids working in workshops, hotels or at the truck Addah and even in schools becoming victums of this hidden culture.
                What about mosques, madrassas? Many children were and are abused there.
                Compulsory course for fundos: Gitmo Diversity training

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: some info on gay-pakistan

                  Chee, who told you to be out alone at such a time, and you were how old? A small kid I bet.
                  "Today in heaven they opened up a new chest dedicated to charity. It's name ?"

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: some info on gay-pakistan

                    [QUOTE=Madhanee
                    Bookworm...that's not homosexuality, it is child molestation. The predators who sexually abuse little boys have nothing to do with Homosexuality, it is because they want to shove their prick up something. They will do it to dead chickens if they had to. Pedophilia or Child Molestation is not a trait specific to Homosexuals. Most of these molesters are not Homosexuals, but Heterosexuals, and they feel more powerful by sexually abusing little boys.[/QUOTE]
                    I agree with above but that is what turn most of the people to take that path, and this is one of the main reason I could find that is producing people of that type.
                    There is always a moral in every story

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: some info on gay-pakistan

                      I noticed that we were still shaking hands and not only that but he was slowly pulling my hand toward his little brother.
                      i personally know a few guys who some gay men tried to molest/rape/abduct but luckily they got away.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: some info on gay-pakistan

                        It is easier to hold hands with and hug guys in public in Pakistan but that's about it, it's not seen as sexual. The conservative religious types still abhor homosexuality (or grooming little boys for sex), saying that, to the open minded youth of today it’s just like regular sex like you would with a chick, in clubs and stuff it's quite acceptable to cop off with another boy and if anyone found you'd had been with a guy they wouldn't look at you as though you've just puked all over their face or they'll catch scabies of you but rather it would be viewed as heterosexual fornication, if they have a problem with pre-martail hetero relationship they would with homosexuality if not they wont have any with homosexuality neither.

                        It's not as accepted as it is in our society as most Pakistani people are conservative, reminds me of at work, we had these two FOBs a Pakistani Muslim and an Indian Christian start work at my weekend job so I was always on my best behaviour lest I offend them, I’m really considerate about other peoples cultural sensitivities like that.

                        Usually a friend of mine (gora) and me would just ‘mess about’ with each other for the crack, both of us were in hetero-relationships at the time so don’t get any ideas, it was just funny, you know joking about coz it made our girl colleagues laugh and probably turned them on, we have no qualms with occasionally snogging or slapping each other’s butts, but as soon as these two FOB guys started at our place I felt they’d think we were shameless and have no dignity, a girl showed the Paki guy a vid on her phone of us kissing for her and the apna looks at me dead serious and says “tumhein hayaa nahein aati?” I’m like chill dude it’s not like we’re gay, just confident and secure about our sexuality unlike some people, now if that had been a Brit person I wouldn’t feel ashamed about it but I did with this Paki, god knows what he’d be thinking.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: some info on gay-pakistan

                          ..

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: some info on gay-pakistan

                            you kissed a guy to turn on a girl? are u kidding me? aren't you the one who's always whining about Islam and the ummah in the religion forum?
                            I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: some info on gay-pakistan

                              Originally posted by PyariCgudia
                              you kissed a guy to turn on a girl? are u kidding me? aren't you the one who's always whining about Islam and the ummah in the religion forum?
                              good point
                              Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

                              Comment

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