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    Mob mentality..

    .. is something I'll never get. Why is there such a need to follow what the rest of your community, social circle or fellow desi is doing? All 2 bilion and counting of them.

    It's as if the ten commandments that are currently in vogue are what everybody has to follow while trying to outdo their fellow desi who's bindly following the same. You have to stick to the way things are done and follow what society has determined for you, chahay Kal ho na ho. God forbid you try to do something differently or even worse, start thinking and adopting an independent attitude or style, Goli maaro bhayjay main. Do you follow tradition? To please your elders, or elders' elder? Or do you actually value the significance of the ritual/event?

    Hockey dads from rural hick-towns pale in comparison to the aunty 420 network sizing up their 'friends' offsprings and putting P.I overtime that'd put the FBI to shame. Papa kehte thay their kids would grow up to be honay-haar beta and beti jee's. But every Amar, Akbar, Anthony has to look the same and blast a cheesy remix of the other remix done by one of the other 50 local "DJ"'s.

    Don't have a jennifer aniston cut and the latest accessories to show off? No problem. Just stick around the uni log enough and you just might become part of the "in" crew, thus accepted, and thus graduate one day. It's only a "year or two" away till you get there. Aakhir Ek aur ek gyaara hai na, khekhekhekhe, how many math courses did you take again?

    Checking out a campus anywhere and the majority seem to be aspriing Khiladi's and Roja's when all they are as Duplicates. Mujhe pyaar chahye- and it has to be someone who accepts me without question and I compromise nothing in return. In fact, Jo jeeta woh sikander.. aur jo meray ego ko boost nahin deta/deti woh saala/saali bandar. abay aqalmand, clone factory main paida hua tha kya, you ain't going nowhere that way. Dil chahta hai inn saaloun/saaliyoun ko chaar laga ke doun, one for each person they've backbited about in the last hour.

    Hum ko hum hi se chura lo, you're doing your fellow countrymen no favor by backbiting about them. It's the lack of unity alone that's tearing us apart. Not corruption, not the "gandi aab o hawaa", not even the kambakht weather. Desi saalay sab chorr hotay hain- nahin to aap hazrat mongolian hain? Don't accept it the way it is and continue working in such an environment. Keep ur attitude (and moral integrity up) and go about thngs the way you'd like see them done. If not, then with an approach like that, you're only robbing your country of it's greatest national asset, - you.

    Just as well that they named that cloned sheep Dolly. Wasn't that the "in" name for the actress in a Bolywood triangle-love story that year as well? Vow, so cool hai na. Mr. Saxena/Raj/Lal (pick one of those three, but only one, lest you be labelled different) have to realise that Vicky and/or Pinky beta are not clones or will not always follow Pinky and/or Vicky beta across the street do/think. Speaking of assets, there are some excellent people on this board here who always encourage the same message I'm trying to get across in this post, and much better. I'm not sure if they want me advertising their names here, but one that has to mentioned is Fraudz. Go through the message being promoted in his posts to Kashif and Ayesha out there (and successfully too in a lot of cases ), and plant it somehwhere in ur khoprri. To adopt a unique approach to life, don't let a mundane set of events/food items/hobbies/whatever drag you down. These aren't necassarily lectures, but inspirational lil things here n there that are all that's needed to the make the difference. (And I'm not posting any links to these threads, copy-paste aur chaapay ka zamana khalaas hai beeru, do it yourself )

    What are you chasing anyway? Do teen Gaariyaan, a bungla here, a shungla back home and a wungla of a spouse who has to be either a handsome, homely MBA/daaktar/injineer or snow-white, sharmeeli babe you can show off to your peers at the next social event while they're losing the race to nab exactly the same for their Pinky or Vicky.

    Sanam bewafa to ho hi jaye ga if this kinda drivel keeps up. In fact, beywafai is all the rage. Smile and say you'll come around and you should get together "zaroor, zaroor" next time you see your peers at the local desi mart/restauarant/club/school. Just don't act upon what you say, coz that would just be wrong now.

    Bol Radha, bol- if there's any injustice being done, speak out! Don't just meekly accept it as the way it is, or even worse become a feminazi and bang war-drums at the sigh of any male. Educate yourself on resources that are available and use them. Sure, it's much easier being either quite about it and keeping it all in till you reach a stage where you'll either totally give up or go off on furious tangents down the road becoz you couldn't/wouldn't look into the issue further and utilize what you could, every little bit helps. There are 'genuine' people out there.

    Don't seek higher education as just a passport to a better career (even though it is). Learn something while you're there. And something means everything; you can become whoever and whatever you want to be. Don't ratta-fy theories, formulae and policies and spit them out on paper the next day and repeat until degree in hand and then complain about the job market that sucks. Even then, it's up to you and you alone to change that situation. Whine all you want, nobody's going to give you more than temporarily "sympathetic" small talk or go on about how it sucks for them too. Instead keep a positive attitude and maximize your resurces, explore your networks to the best you can and jump at an opportunity when you see it. Jumping is good.


    Don't see life as a linear series of events. Move around and experience life as it was meant to be experienced: i.e "------------" (<--- were you expecting a line that would sum up how your life shoud be lived by someone else here? I have not the slightest idea, why don't you go and found out for yourself. Just don't go about it like following a manual. Maintain a protocol but don't define a rigid procedure from A to Z.

    Go out, explore, follow your dreams, respect your home/religious/cultural values and keep your morals in tact. But for god's sake, don't destroy yourself as a nation and as human beings. Unity is in supporting each other, not doing what everybody seems to be doing. Give yourself and each other breathing room and become who you were born to be. Which is not necassarily equivalent to what society (re)determines for you with the release of the next big desi movie/drama/fad shift/miscellaneous.

    #2
    We can but pray, or something.

    Thus is there an "ameen" in order here, or should we just keep our fingers crossed and not step on pavement cracks?

    I think I deserve some kind of medal for actually reading the whole thing through.
    rubber band rubber band rubber band rubber band rubber band

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      #3
      dayumm, you do deserve one. I couldn't 've been bothered to read the whole thing myself..

      acha, how bout TGI Fridays tonight. I'll pick you up say 8 (ish), and you can order anything ya want. no really, anything. at which time I'll excuse mahself to ze wee-wee room, and make my exit. you can pick up the bill waghaira waghaira.. kaisa?

      consider that yor medal. :-)

      suma ameen and stuff..

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        #4
        Phew. Can't believe I made it through. (I want a medal too )
        What was your muse, DK?

        Anyway, I totally agree. Unfortunately we're all subject to this mob mentality (obviously not just the desis). But we do need to be much more reflective on the present and why we are doing what we are doing, rather than constantly planning for some far away future.

        That's why I like the Emerson quote in my signature. Nice little reminder .

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          #5
          et tu aap bhi? :-P

          just random musings yaar.. no real structure or sense of direction there (as ya can very well see ). The situation is not as bad is it seems from that post above, (prolly since I went off on all sorts of tangents.. lol) but there's just a lack of open-mindedness that seems to prevail, esp among desis imho.

          I remember a post (in C&A methinks) discussing desis lacking, or seemingly afraid, to take a dip into enterpreneurial waters. That was bang on the rupiyah! Why so? For all the creative ability and taiz dimagh we have, we ought to be using more of it to approach things differently. different angle lagao bhayi. kya row-boat (robot) ki tarah ek hi sarrak par chal rahey ho?

          Why take the safest route possible when you can possibly enjoy a different one (and even get a bigger ROI) so much more if you just look into from a diferent viewpoint. Evaluate your own strengths, weaknesses likes and dislikes. Don't put society's unpsoken commandments in front of when making choices at those fork-in-the-roads. Not just career ventures, just how you approach and will/will not go about an issue a particular way coz the Jones (or Hussains and Patels) around you do/don't.

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            #6
            aur ye kiya medal medal lagaya hua hai?

            don't ya have dishes to clean and floors to mop or somethin?

            blahdy females!

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              #7
              the mob mentality ur talking about, i find exists more in places where there is a larger number of desis, whereas down here in melb, since there are so few of us, i guess we are more individuals, but go to sydney and u'll see clones.. however i am see the younger generation here in melb turning into each others shadows, if thats what u can call it

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                #8
                sadzzz,

                they are clones. The number of desis in oz has always been around 20 at tha max! (30 if you go to a cricket stadium). They cloned ya and now you have like what,.. 40 in total there? :-P

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                  #9
                  I recall in the 2000 election how disturbed I was when various Muslim organizations and Pakistani organizations asked people to vote for Bush as if their lives depended upon it. And so many people went along with it. I actually felt physically ill at the idiocy of the idea to encourage the Muslim and Pakistani population to be obedient and bigoted (afterall, Bush was running against a Jewish VP). Heaven forbid we educate ourselves and think for ourselves. We'd rather just make rash and offensive decisions.

                  I voted for Gore partially because of those statements.

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                    #10
                    they dress the same, their hair's the same OH! its so annoying why acnt they just be themselves?? and theyre so predictable!

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by Diablo Kazama:

                      don't ya have dishes to clean and floors to mop or somethin?

                      blahdy females!


                      We're leaving all the mopping and dishes for the men, and after if they still want to tie us to the sink,.......thats great, so long as the sink is clean and there is food on the table.

                      Don't tell us men don't like the leash.
                      rubber band rubber band rubber band rubber band rubber band

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                        #12
                        DK

                        excellent post, took me a while to read thru it, am a bit emrassed that you have noted me as an ass, shoot sorry, i misread asset as ass.

                        The will to belong is everywhere, for most the clique mentality does not go beyond highschool. For many desis in US, i think its in college that they enjoy the type of freedoms that usual highschoolers enjoy and thus the late manifestation of the clique pehnomenon.

                        However, there is not just one version of desi floating around on campuses, for the most part there are a few. the typical gehtto kaloo wanna be, the muslim brother/sister, the bollywood xerox copy (bad copy too), the recent arrival chichora, and the i-am-too-good-for-desis person. The people stay in their cliques, interacting with ppl from other cliques is niether encouraged, nor desired.

                        Question is..for everyone..

                        do you feel that its cultural? that our culture places more importance on belmding in than being unique in who you are, how you are, and what you want to do?

                        more later
                        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.

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                          #13
                          Fraudz, what i think is that its the jealousy and competition inside us desis that makes us want to be individuals but we end up being the same as the next desi only a little bit more hideous.. i think its very much a cultural thing.. DK.. God help OZ if there are more of me here...!

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                            #14
                            ^^ I'm praying for koala kind already love
                            rubber band rubber band rubber band rubber band rubber band

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                              #15
                              ^ theres not many of those left either.... so sad

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